Big Budget gets Beat Out by Low Quality?

There is no denying that Digital Playground spent a shit ton of money on the production and marketing of Pirates II.   I heard rumors about their marketing budget but I don’t know for sure.  Let’s just say if the rumors are true, they spent more money on marketing Pirates II than probably 10 normal movies cost to be made.  Anyway the point is, did all of this hoopla really pay off?  Although the movie remains at the top of the charts but you know what’s selling even better?  A movie thrown together almost overnight and rushed into production.  I’m not saying it’s a low quality piece of shit or anything but let’s be real, as fast as this fucker was made, it couldn’t of exactly had the highest of production values.  Of course I speak of the political spoof, Who’s Nailin’ Paylin from Hustler.  Knowing that your super high budget fuck flick is being outsold by this shit, has to be a sore spot of Digital Playground, who currently has their stars like Jenna Jane traveling the globe promoting the mega hit.  Truth is, by far Pirates II is a better movie.  It’s not just because the girls are hotter, which they are but because it’s clear when watching the movies that the overall production values are better with Pirates II than with Hustler’s Sara Palin political porn.  It’s crap.  They threw it together in 5 minutes and you can see it come through in the scenes of the movie.  I get that the idea was funny.  It really is but I still say Pirates II is a better movie and I hope that is reflected come awards time.


Print Media Confusion starring Meggan Mallone

I confess I’m not much for looking at men’s magazines.  I mean sure I know the big ones like Penthouse, Playboy and Hustler but apparently there are quite a few more.  I caught a glance of a web page featuring Vivid’s newest tartlet, Meggan Mallone.  On this page it said that this year alone Meggan Mallone has either been on the cover or featured in 6 different magazines.   My any standards that’s pretty fucking impressive but that’s not what caught my attention.  What caught my attention is that just two hours earlier I was reading a story about how ad sales are down as much as 23% in traditional print media and that circulation has plummeted.  You hear this kind of thing all the time.  Instead of reading a real magazine people just prefer to go online and see what they can find.  In fact some magazines have gone all digital as a result.



So back to men’s magazine’s.  I had no idea how many of them there really are.  I think this has to contribute to lacking sales figures.  Quite frankly there are just to fucking many of them.  I read in one place there are some 318 different men’s magazines currently in circulation.  THREE HUNDRED AND EIGHTEEN?!!! So can we name some of these?  Sure but I promise I can’t name many.  Here are some of the more successful ones.  And out of this short life, I must ask, do we really really need even this many?


Playboy
Playboy College Girls
Playboy Vixens
Playboy Lingerie
Penthouse
Girls of Penthouse
Hustler
Hustler Beach Girls
18 Teen Angels
Asian Beauties
Barley Legal
Girls of Barely Legal
Club
Club Confidential
Club International
Cheri
Bust Out
Just 18
Swank
Cougars
D-Cup
Easy Riders
Gent
High Society
Just 18
Legs & Tail
Leg Show
Leg Tease
Lips
Passion
Perfect 10
Stag
Tight
Volputuous
Velvet
Taboo
Tigh Squeeze

Don’t get your kicks on Route 66

Route 66 Penthouse

view the Route 66 Penthouse DVD information while you can


What do you do if you can no longer get your kicks on Route 66? Well we may just find out because as reported today on TMZ, the fine folks who made the 1960’s TV show “Route 66” are more than pissed that Penthouse is trying to turn their beloved show into something smutty. The best part of the lawsuit is that they suggested a new title for the movie “Sex in and Around the Pink Motel.” LOL


Anyway you can view the full court documents from the TMZ website or view the details of the Penthouse movie Route 66 HERE which stars Katarina Kat, Renae Cruz, Holly West, Mia Smiles and Nikki Kane, who should not be confused with the new Vivid girl named Nikki Jayne. They are not the same people.


With porno spoofs of real life movies, TV shows and celebrities like Not the Bradys XXX from Hustler or Down, Dirty and Desperate Housewives from Factory 13, it’s really only a matter of time before we start seeing more and more lawsuits.

Hustler Anniversary party sucked balls?

I heard an interesting rumor today. I heard that the Hustler 34th anniversary party which was held last Saturday at the Highlands nightclub was a big fat bust and even more juicy is that I heard LFP Talent Coordinator China Barbor was fired over it. Well “had a parting of ways” as a direct result of the party she organized.

China Barbor was quoted as saying “I really wanted to throw a good party to celebrate Hustler, what better way to say ‘thank you’ than showcasing why we are No. 1?” I guess that didn’t work out so well for her now, did it?

We gave the boys over at LFP a call to confirm this rumor but as expected couldn’t get very far. What we do know is that China Barbor “hasn’t been in the office this week” but one person we spoke to thought she may come back while yet another party claimed they had no idea what was going on and indicated everything was wonderful over at LFP and there was absolutely no truth to the rumors … that the anniversary party was great and everyone was happy.


So I went over to the AVN photo galleries to see just who was at the party, because in an earlier press release they indicated that “celebrities” would be there. What I didn’t find was one photo of anyone really famous. Unless we are now counting Ron Jeremy as a celebrity. And for that matter, I seen no A list porn stars either. There was Marina Maywood, Samantha Sin, and some girl named Whitney there. AVN reported that “Larry Flynt made an appearance in addition to celebrities and behind-the-scenes members of the adult industry.” But the closest to A list porn insiders besides Ron Jeremy you could get would be Holly Randall, daughter of photographer Suze Randall.


I don’t know if the party was really as great as they LFP are saying or a big ass mess as others are saying but what I do know is if these famous people where there, I sure didn’t see them in the pictures and wouldn’t you think that they would have been able to capture, I don’t know ONE celebrity in a photo if they were there?


Where is Tera Patrick whom LFP recently won an award for distribution of one of her titles? Where is Nina Mercedez who distributes her new line of movies? Where is the chick that is on the May cover of Hustler Magazine? Even Meggan Mallone didn’t show up? I checked out Meggan Mallone’s myspace and she showed off her cover of Hustler for May 2008 but she didn’t make any mention of going to any Hustler party. I realize that Adam & Eve contract girl Ava Rose is in the July issue (albiet not the cover girl) and she was there, but what about May (current issue on stands at the time of the party) and the June cover girls for Hustler?


I don’t know but it sounds like to me that someone fucked up somewhere.

HANK WILLIAMS III WANTS TO MARRY TAYLOR RAIN!

Fayner Posts: Dez came out of the shitter this morning with a copy of HUSTLER in his hands.

“Hey, check this out!” he said, handing me the magazine opened to the Hank Willams III interview.

“Is this a Toilet Book?” I shouted, as my fingers grabbed the dirty magazine.

“Yup!” Dez proclaimed.

Sweet.

“Where am I looking?” I asked. He pointed towards what I thought was HW III’s erect penis coming from his jeans. “That’s not real, you jackass!”

“Not that! This!” And he pointed towards the last line in the interview.

It reads:

Hustler: Any other messages you want to get out there?

HW III: Taylor Rain, will you marry me?

HUSTLER CLUB REJECTED

Detroit council rejects Hustler strip club

The Detroit City Council today voted 5-3 against transferring a topless dancing permit from a downtown bar to potential owners wanting to open a Larry Flynt Hustler Club.

The property at 415 E. Congress is currently home to the Zoo Bar. An owners group, known as HDV Greektown, has asked for the license transfer.

An attorney for the owners said earlier this week that the club would employ up to 125 people.

Before the vote, an attorney for the Perfecting Church in Detroit urged City Council to vote down the license transfer.

Attorney Richard Mack of Detroit said the Zoo Bar is licensed for topless entertainment but hasn’t been an adult entertainment club for at least two years. The venue is mainly used as a concert hall, he said.

However, during the weeklong festivities before Super Bowl XL, adult film star Jenna Jameson hosted a party at the Zoo Bar that featured topless dancing.

“We must stand against this,” Mack said. “In this case, the club will be one of the largest strip clubs in the area – if not the state – within one block of a child day care center where parents may have to pick up their children at night.”

Mack said downtown crime will surge and property values will decline with a strip club in the area.

The City Council declined to act on a previous request to transfer the permits in 2003, prompting the owners to sue for the right to open.

The bar owners first took the council to court when it tried to prevent the opening of a Deja Vu strip club at the same location. A judge had ruled that the club could open.. At that time, owners also had talked about opening as a Hustler club.

The previous ruling permitted the owners to open a Deja Vu nightclub, but the council never transferred the liquor license.

Attorney Frank Palazzolo, who represents HDV Greektown, said the owners filed another lawsuit this year after the City Council declined to act on the transfer.

Palazzolo said: “My client is disappointed with today’s vote and we’ll just continue with the litigation that has already been institued.”

Council members who voted against the transfer were: Brenda Jones, Kwame Kenyatta, Martha Reeves, JoAnn Watson and Monica Conyers.

Sheila Cockrel, Alberta Tinsley-Talabi and Ken Cockrel Jr. voted for the transfer.

Sheila Cockrel declined comment except to say her vote reflected the “serious litigation” that is still pending.

Kenyatta countered that he’s not worried about the lawsuits.

“I think we’ll weather the storm on this,” said Kenyatta, who voted to reject the license transfer.

DOC MACOCK

Title: Doc MaCock

Cast:
Nicole Sheridan, Julie Night, Nicki Hunter, Angela Stone, Shy Love, Voodoo, Chris Cannon, Nick Manning, Chris Charming, Evan Stone

Company:
Hustler Video

Director:
Caesar Bonobo

            When comedy and porn meet it has to be a nice balance between the two so it can work. With Doc MaCock you couldn’t get any better with a great amount of both subjects in one film.

            The plot of the film revolves around Evan Stone playing the Doc along with a few of his scientist buddies Chris Cannon, Nicki Hunter, Chris Charming and Voodoo.
The group investigates the sexual dysfunction of others.

            Nicole Sheridan plays and airhead and Julie Night has a fetish for smells. Angela Stone appropriately plays a female gusher, Shy Love plays an oversexed slut and Nick Manning is an egotistic cocksman.

            In between each sex scene, which are all very well done, you get a does of slap stick humor which will surely make you laugh out loud. Doc MaCock is a very well orchestrated adult film with a nice equilibrium between sexy and funny.

AMATEUR BEAVER HUNT

Title: Amateur Beaver Hunt

Cast: Michelle Maylene, Dakota Cameron, Nicole Brazzle, Loretta Scars, Azalea Lee, D’Monica, Brett Rockman, Chris Charming, Ross, Sascha, James Deen

Company: Hustler Video

Director: Will Ryder (Jeff Mullen)

            Jeff Mullen’s latest effort is the first in what I am sure, will be a long line of films in a series. Being an avid reader of Hustler, I have always enjoyed the Beaver Hunt section and I was hoping the film adaptation would be equally as exciting. I was expecting fresh new faces, but a few of these girls I have seen before, quite often in fact.

            The set up for the scenes is a disillusionment of the girls acting like they have submitted pictures to the Beaver Hunt contest and are now looking to take that next step forward.

            The production was a bit shaky and compound that with the girls in the five scenes having lackluster intentions only made Amateur Beaver Hunt a big disappointment.

BARELY LEGAL CORRUPTED 5

Title: Barely Legal Corrupted 5 

 

 

 

 

Cast: Tiffany Rayne, Nadia Hilton, Mia Bangg, Cassie Courtland, Kelly Wells; others 

 

 

 

 

 

Company: Hustler Video 

 

 

 

 

Director: Bobbie Manilla
            Kelly Wells has been in the porn industry long enough, that I don’t know if she really qualifies as “Barely Legal.” Nonetheless she starts off the fifth chapter in this series. Her scene is adventurous in fetishism as she is wearing a blindfold and a riding crop is used on her.

            In Nadia Hilton scene more fetish gear is used as her man is cuffed to a chair with a ball gag in. Nice role reversal here compared to the first scene. Cassie Courtland follows suit in her scene wearing a ball gag as two guys enter. She is kneeling and sucking cock with a lot of spit and fervor.

            Mia Bangg has a pretty intense scene herself, but I am not that big of fan of hers. The film ends with Tiffany Rayne and by the amount of films she has done recently, you think she might be throwing her hat into the ring of best new starlet.

            Overall, Barley Legal Corrupted 5 is a strong film, arguably one of the best in the series. I enjoyed the fetish aspect in all scenes and the consistency thread that ran throughout.

HERE’S SOME THINGS IN HUSTLER…

Fayner Posts: Got my March 2006 Hustler magazine today or yesterday or the day before. I stopped checking mail on a regular basis after getting a notice for Jury Duty last week or the week before or the week before.

The new Hustler is quite good. Here are some reasons why it is good and one reason why it isn’t.

GOOD – Carmen Electra Nude! You can’t beat Carmen nude. You just can’t. Well, you ca beat your wand looking at Carmen nude. Sure you can.

GOOD – Jokes about Bush. They’re always funny, even when they’re not.

GOOD – Awesome Briana Banks pictorial! Not only does the beautiful Vivid Star look simply marvelous in her new and improved post-drug body, but that frog Laurent Sky actually did some quality work. And considering I hate the French so much, one can just guess how good the layout is if I’m complimenting him.

GOOD – Now usually the worst chick is left for the final pages of the magazine, just as the best is saved for the centerfold. Not so this time! I suppose that if it weren’t for Briana Banks also being in the issue, this absolute stunner named Autumn Bliss would hands down be the hottest chick of the month. Shit, let’s give it to her. Briana won’t mind. I even called Travis, who was jealous that I had it. He wanted his own copy. I told him I’d give him mine when I was done. He said gross. I said I had two copies. I didn’t. He believed me. I came on the pages. I’ll give it to him tomorrow. He’ll be mad. Anyone know this sexy fox and wants to set up a date with Fayner let me know at faynerpornbiz@hotmail.com

BAD – The Matt Sorum Velvet Revolver interview is just pure rubbish. He’s a hack. And old. And I heard he has hair plugs. And I’ve seen him make out with an ugly chick. And once I tracked dog shit into his house. Oh, and that whole “he stole my song and won a Grammy” thing has nothing to do with my anger…