Was it really a suicide? Or did Kevin Moore kill porn star August Ames? Or was it all Jessica Drake’s fault?

There are people out there who don’t want this post out there. They’ve gone out of their way to try and stop what is said below from being seen by bribes, threats, and intimidation. It won’t work. I will keep posting this over and over on any site I can. The public deserves to know the truth. Even if it’s not the truth some people want you to believe.

What if I was to tell you that a book was released the very day the Markus Dupree story was tweeted out by Kevin Moore (via August Ames twitter), that suggested August Ames didn’t commit suicide – instead Kevin Moore killed her.

And to take it a step further, the rumor mill says that Kevin Moore tweeted what he did about Markus Dupree’s assault on August Ames to distract the world from the very book that talks about all of this called “The Last Days of August“, written by Ron Jonson – a man who clearly has no love for the Evil Angel director.

I know it sounds like a big conspiracy theory and it may very well be just that. But you have to admit, the timing of Kevin Moore’s tweet is suspicious. Some say he tweeted that to cover up what was going on with Stills by Alan. But I think if you take the time to actually listen to “The Last Days of August“, you’ll probably agree his tweet was a great way to try and distract the world from the release of the book. A book that trashes Kevin Moore’s reputation.

So did Kevin Moore really kill his wife? No. He did not.

While it leads you down that path several times, when you finally get to the end of the book the author confirms even he doesn’t buy that theory. But that isn’t the only bad thing the book has to say about Kevin Moore.

Axel Braun is the one in the book who really pushes the theory that August Ames was murdered

“It’s not like I’m a conspiracy theorist you know. She weighed, you know 114 pounds I think. It’s 50 miles per hour winds and you have to climb up a tree. I don’t know that you can climb on that tree, that huge trunk and just go up there and put that thing around your neck and calculate how long that thing is going to be so that when you fall down you aren’t hitting the floor. I mean it’s not an easy thing.” — Axel Braun

Strangely Axel Braun went out of his way to get a copy of the coroner’s report regarding the death of August Ames, which is where he gets most of his information to tell the author in regards to Kevin Moore and August Ames. Why? What I don’t get is, what reason would Axel Braun have to be requesting any official records of August Ames?

August Ames was dead. Why in the heck did Axel Braun need to get a copy of the coroner’s report for? He wasn’t friends with her and they weren’t family or in a relationship of any kind (well not in a good way).

Was it because he was hoping he could use information from the report to get out of his civil lawsuit with her? Or was it because he wanted to leak the documents to the public? Or was it because he wanted to use information in the document to spread rumors about August Ames and her husband, Kevin Moore?

While I suspect the first two reasons may have played a part but it was the third reason, the spreading of rumors based off of information from the report that turned out to be true. He used that information in the report to slander Kevin Moore and spread misleading information about the night of her death.

For the last year we here at Mike South have been hearing a rumor that Kevin Moore wasn’t home when August Ames killed herself. The rumor was that he was “holded up in a hotel with some whore”.

As far I as I know, nobody here was never able to track down the source of that rumor, and obviously we never published it because we didn’t know if it were true or not or who the source was that was saying it. Until now …

Axel Braun revealed to the author of the book that he drove to the coroner’s office and got a copy of the report and that int he report it revealed that when August Ames’ body was found the authorities spoke to Kevin who at the time was in his hotel room at the Sheraton in Agoura Hills, which was nearly 20 miles away from his home, the one that he shared with August.

Listen, I’m no fan of Kevin Moore, but even I have to admit what Axel Braun has said in this crossed the line. But that wasn’t the worst of it. That honor would go to Axel Braun’s friend, Jessica Drake. What kind of person trashes the marriage of a dead girl? I mean it’s not like August Ames can come back from the grave and defend her relationship. And really if anyone was going to trash August Ames or her relationship.

It’s been over a year now since August Ames has died and to this day Jessica Drake still doesn’t get what she did wrong. Let’s first make sure we are all on the same page as to what Jessica Drake did in the first place.

August Ames tweeted that a scene she was scheduled for with Erotica X was canceled because she didn’t want to be with the male performer thinking he was a crossover.

That tweet sparked a firestorm that would end in her death. August Ames didn’t cave. She stood by her beliefs.

Jessica Drake made two tweets. Although she didn’t call August Ames out by name, it was clear who her tweets were about and as a result Jessica Drake’s fans piled on and attacked August Ames relentlessly.

A year later Jessica Drake still hasn’t taken responsibility for what she did that day. She still hasn’t apologized. What she has done was played the victim, something she does quite well. In the interview with the author she cries crocodile tears.

When the author cut to Jessica Drake she cried and cried and wanted you to feel sorry for her. She talks about how devastated she was. Only she forgets to mention a few key points.

  • #1 On the day the world found out August Ames was dead, Jessica Drake was on a set with Dean Capture filming promos and intro segments for the XBIZ awards. She claims she was overwhelmed, and extremely distraught. However not distraught enough to continue working. She spent hours on that set, all glammed up and smiling for the cameras.
  • #2 Jessica Drake also forgot to mention that for the previous year she has been “extremely cruel” to August Ames, because August Ames was in a lawsuit with Axel Braun and that’s Jessica Drake’s friend.

Jessica Drake wants you to believe she did nothing wrong. That when she said what she did, it didn’t mention August Ames by name. But Jessica Drake isn’t stupid. She knew her fans would know exactly who she was talking about and go after August Ames and viciously attack her, just like they did.

Here is the video Jessica Drake filmed that day they found August Ames dead. You tell me. Just how distraught does she look?

Here she is on the red carpet, the night she hosted the xbiz awards. This photo was taken a few days before her tearful interview with the author Jon Ronson where she claims she’s been so distraught ever since she learned of August Ames death. You tell me. Just how torn up does Jessica Drake look? If you were to just listen to her story you would think maybe she really was all fucked up over it. But anyone who knows Jessica Drake knows better. And this picture shows the truth.

Look at that photo of Jessica Drake. This was taken just days before she was in her hotel room telling the author of the book The Last Days of August (while crying massive tears) that she can barely get out of bed she’s so traumatized. So seriously, look at that photo again. Tell me how distraught she looks. Now rewatch that video from above. That was taken on the very day August Ames died. Remind you Jessica Drake has said she found out while she was on that set and was beyond upset. I think the video and photo shows just how upset she really was about the death of August Ames. Something that to this day she has yet to apologize for her part in.

Next Jessica Drake does something even I didn’t expect. Instead of saying she was sorry, which by the way she still hasn’t done even to this day, she instead decides to talk about “weird things” in the Kevin Moore and August Ames relationship.

Yes, Jessica Drake trashed a dead person’s marriage, knowing August Ames was dead and couldn’t very well defend herself or her relationship with her husband.

When Jessica Drake cried “somebody has to help me“, I wanted to throw up. She’s such a disingenuous, heartless bitch.

Kevin Moore had this to say specifically about Jessica Drake and his problem with her.

“I think she has presented herself as a sort of social justice warrior spokesperson for the industry and I think it’s a fraud and I’ll tell you why … this is a woman who maybe performs 8 to 10 times a year. She has no idea what it’s like for the real working performers who have to do 10 or 15 scenes a month and the toll that takes on their body. And she is decreeing from her ivory tower.”

“If she hadn’t been bulled she’d be alive right now. It was 24 hours after it started. How can you not see a relationship there? She was bullied by social justice warriors.”

“Jessica Drake caused irreparable harm by using her followers and stature in an attempt to silence and bully a young impressionable woman.”

But being a tactless bitch isn’t a crime so let’s move on and talk a little more about Kevin Moore. Because trust me, he’s no innocent angel in this ordeal either.

In the book, August Ames’ brother details what happened to her by Markus Dupree. This was a situation known by those close to her for months before her death. It was something that August Ames had a hard time coping with and found it hard to go back to work after doing that scene with Markus Dupree.

So that means Kevin Moore has been fully aware of what Markus Dupree did to August Ames for more than a year and he only tweets it out now? Why? Why that specific day?

Is it because he wanted to distract the world from the scandal of his friend Stills by Alan? Or was it because he wanted to distract the world from the very book that was released on the very day he made those tweets, telling the world about what happened to August Ames on set that day with Markus Dupree?

The author of the book spent quite a bit of time talking with August Ames’ brother in Canada. Something that really stuck out is how much he did not trust nor like Kevin Moore. This was based on some of the things his sister would tell him about her husband.

The author also spoke with her real life best friend, Emma Hix who also didn’t have many complimentary things to say about Kevin Moore.

Emma Hix also drops another bombshell in the book. She said that August Ames asked Kevin Moore for a divorce and for several months prior to her death.

As far as the Markus Dupree incident, August Ames was no doubt traumatized over what happened to her with Markus Dupree. Understandably, considering he choked her with her panties and he slammed her head down on the table (according to the book).

She had a hard time working after that and those close to her think that was one of the many things she was dealing in her life when she killed herself.

At first glance you might think the book is a Kevin Moore hit piece. But when you look at the big picture, you see that almost every single person the author interviewed had the same thing to say about Kevin Moore. And none of them were good.

It implies their marriage wasn’t happy and when August Ames died, he claimed he was out looking for her all night. He wasn’t. It was revealed in the book that he was actually held up in a hotel room at the Sheraton hotel in Agoura Hills. This hotel mind you isn’t anywhere near their home. This information was confirmed on legal documents connected to August Ames death.

Kevin Moore repeatedly said he called August Ames over and over the night she left. He didn’t. He texted her three times. Not 1,000 like he said. THREE. Two times to ask her about dinner and the third time was to ask where she was, saying he was starting to get worried about her.

Listening to the book you can’t help but be shocked at what you hear. Kevin Moore doesn’t come out well. Anyone who thought Kevin Moore was a nice guy, or a devoted husband might think differently after listening to this book.

The book talks quite a bit about Kevin Moore’s past, before his marriage to August Ames. He was with Hunter Bryce. They had a very rocky relationship. In the book Kevin Moore says they broke up in 2009 and that she died in 2011. But I talked to a few people who knew her and every one of them said the same thing – Kevin Moore and Hunter Bryce may have broken up in 2009 but they got back together several times after that. They were together just a few months prior to her death. She died of a lethal combination of drugs and alcohol.

Next Kevin Moore married Shazia Sahari and then one day she just disappeared. Some say that she was committed to a mental institute. It was when the author finally found her living in Chicago, that we find out about several more of Kevin Moore’s lies.

The author tries to draw a connection to these girls and August Ames and then he does just that, through a producer at Evil Angel who wishes to remain anonymous.

She goes on to tell how she always felt Kevin Moore preyed on young, vulnerable women, who had “issues”. She then told a story about the time that they were shooting and there was this girl on set who was super drunk, in the bathroom throwing up and they were about to send her home (as you can’t be drunk on set). 2 days later, according to the producer, Kevin Moore is in a hot and heavy relationship with the girl.

The unnamed female producer said that’s always the way it is with Kevin Moore. He always finds girls who have issues.

This reminded me of the time I spoke with someone who has known Kevin Moore for about 10 years now. He said something as a joke but it really has a whole new meaning now that I’ve heard this book. The guy told me that Kevin Moore could be in the room with 100 hot girls and he would always find that one girl who had something wrong with her. When I asked what he meant he said Kevin always had a thing for girls who were nut jobs, drug addicts or that have daddy issues.

Is it true? Does Kevin Moore go out of his way to find girls with these problems to take advantage of?

If you were to believe the people interviewed in the book, yes. That’s exactly what Kevin Moore does. But not because he’s a captain save-a-ho, like you might think. Because he doesn’t try and save them. He just seems to like the crazy that goes on when you are in one of those kind of relationships

The book without a doubt makes him out to be a sexual predator who preys on those kind of girls who have issues. And even worse, the current rumors is, he’s still doing this, even after the death of August Ames.

After listening to this book for nearly 4 hours, the thing that stands out the most is that 2 of Kevin Moore’s relationships ended up with the girl dying, while another one ended up with the girl trying to kill herself. That it something to really think about. Even if you discount everything else said in the book by every person, you still are left with the fact that 2 of his past girlfriends are dead and 1 of them tried to kill herself while they were together.

 So just who killed August Ames?

She killed herself. The coroner’s report says at much. The authors of the book then takes their findings to their own expert who confirms as much. But the book also shows us just how fucked up people like Kevin Moore, Axel Braun, Jessica Drake and Jaxton Wheeler really are.

Is Kendra Lust a hooker? I found some proof!

Yes, Kendra Lust is a low class hooker.  No, not a high class “escort” like you might assume.

Before you cry “slander” … have you seen the Pamela Peaks website lately?

kendra-lust-pamela-peaks

To slander someone I have to make a false accusation. Well as you can see for yourself on the Pamela Peaks website, Kendra Lust is in fact a hooker.

Some of her little fanboi’s might argue, HOW DARE YOU CALL HER A HOOKER! SHE’S A HIGH CLASS ESCORT.

Is she now?

Most people think that an escort and a prostitute are the same. In some senses it can be said to be the same, but an escort is considered to be much for an entertainment purpose.

A prostitute is approached just for fulfilling sexual desires. However, an escort is quite different. An escort is a service by beautiful women and handsome men who are hired for entertainment purposes.

A John doesn’t go to Pamela Peaks website for anything more than to fuck a girl. That makes her a hooker, not a high class escort. The price also factors in this.

So let’s talk about that for a moment. A high class escort can be expensive. Kendra Lust is charging $1900 per hour for her and Pamela Peaks plus Pamela Peaks get a cut of that as the madam and possibly another cut for location fees. So that means Kendra Lust is making only about $500 or $600 for that hour.

A high class escort will work for no less than $1000 an hour and some are making significantly more than that. If you are willing to blow a guy for a couple hundred bucks, I’m sorry but you are not more than common street trash.

After doing some research, it turns out that Pamela Peaks works in a two bedroom apartment. One is her personal bedroom and the other is for John’s as they come in and out of the place.

The bathroom, or so I am told, is so nasty from all the spray tan residue that the floors are actually black. As one girl said “It’s so disgusting you want to throw up the second you walk in.”

Have I ever personally seen Kendra Lust in Pamela Peaks apartment blowing John’s? Nope. I can’t say that I have. So maybe Pamela Peaks for no good reason is just lying. She only puts Kendra Lust on the website to fuck with her.

But then tell me, why can you call Pamela Peaks right now and actually book time with Kendra Lust?

 

Is Kendra Lust making death threats to her talent?

I heard a very interesting Kendra Lust story today.

Of course it’s hard to know what people say about their agents being true or not, but one particular girl that used to be with her agency — Society 15 is claiming Kendra Lust actually went as far to threaten her life and that of her family if she left.

How bad but things be for you that you have to threaten a girl with physical violence to get them to stay?

I mean I knew things weren’t going well for them when her great “friends” like Jessa Rhodes and Briana Banks wouldn’t even stay around. If you can’t even keep your self proclaimed BEST FRIENDS around, that speaks volumes about your agency.

But damn, actual threats of physical violence? That’s fucked up.

 

Charlie Sheen is not the victim here!

Some people are speaking out about “poor Charlie Sheen” and how he is the victim here, letting all those people take advantage of him just because he is rich.

I’m just dumbfounded that he’s the one being made out to be the victim when in fact he did so much to harm others and doesn’t want to own up and take any responsibility for it.

As a direct result of his bullshit, look at what his ex-girlfriend Bree Olson has to go through.

charlie seen lied

I’m sorry but that kind of shit is not okay.

She didn’t try and blackmail him. She didn’t even know he was HIV positive.

This kind of harassment is not okay and it pisses me off that the person directly responsible for it, won’t own up to it.

Article Writing Scam

Just a head’s up boys and girls …. two people have contacted me in the last twenty hours to ask about a service they have been offered. Basically some guy name David has been going around saying that for a certain fee he will write an article that will appear here on this site.

LukeFord.com does not now, nor have we ever worked with this person. Do not be fooled by whoever this guy is. If you pay him, your article will not appear on this site.

 

Jenna Jameson is not worth $30 million

While the world is going on about how much weight Jenna Jameson has gained, after seeing her on Celebrity Big Brother UK, I’m confused by something else. I could care less what she weighs. What I want to know is how the world still thinks she is a multi-millionaire. Trust me, she’s not.

Here is a comment I’ve heard many times over, or see on various news sites talking about Jenna Jameson … “I still can’t believe she cams on MFC when she’s worth $30m!”

Could it be more fucking obvious? If some chick is worth $30 million bucks you think she’s going to show you her tits and ass for $100? Of fucking course not.

Jenna Jameson is not worth $30 million. She probably isn’t worth $150,000 at this point.

I’m not being a dick here. I’m just being honest. What money she might have had for selling her company was split with her now ex-husband Jay Grdina and then she spent the rest over the last 10 or 15 years, including a mountain of legal bills, clothes, cars, trips, having two kids, etc.

She wrote a book and that didn’t go well, so there was no extra money from that.

Those few companies who will book her at her going rate of between $5,000 and $25,000 per appearance are now extremely far and few between.

The only thing she really did have to her name was a house she bought with her last husband and apparently she lost that in the divorce as well and is currently in the middle of a lawsuit regarding that piece of property.

So why people think she still has all this money and would be willing to shake her thing for pennies on MFC is beyond me but no, you can bet your ass she doesn’t have much to her name anymore. Which is why in fact she was on MyFreeCams in the first place.

Dill Bill Asher of Vivid pull a Bill Cosby?

When I read the story that Stefani Morgan was making a return to porn, I was quite honestly shocked. I know they say everyone eventually comes back, but fuck if this one didn’t surprise me.

Last I heard of Stefani Morgan she was leaving porn when her then relationship with Vivid co-owner Bill Asher,  and Ivy League-educated MBA and former executive of Playboy – ended in a very ugly way. And by ugly way I mean, apparently he fucking raped her ass (as Stefani herself put it).

Then if raping her wasn’t enough, and yes apparently there was a witness to this rape, he tried to strong armed her into signing agreement (according to the rumors back then when it all went down), stating she not only could not talk about the rape but that she couldn’t come back to porn.

Of course all of this took place years ago. So maybe now something has changed. The question is, what? Has enough time passed that Bill Asher is no longer worried about the rape due to some statue of limitation running out?

Or does he just think we all fucking forgot about it?

I don’t care how much fucking money you have, and how much time has passed (((look at Bill Cosby))), raping a chick isn’t fucking cool. No means fucking no, dick.

Below you’ll find the detailed about the Bill Asher and Stefani Morgan relationship, including her detailed account of the rape.


She writes on MySpace (original source link):

I should have never met up with you and Andrew. From the beginning you just kept playing with my head, making you think you cared while you were out sleeping with numerous girls. I sat at home thinking maybe you’d stop, you’d realize you didn’t need that to make yourself feel better. It never happened. I hadn’t seen you in a month, and leaped at the chance to, you already had complete hold of my heart. We partied all night; everything was perfect (in a Sid and Nancy way). A few days later when I came over, we slept together; you wanted to get up early. I left so you could get to bed.

The next day I asked how you were so tired. You laughed when you told me a girl had dropped by late, and you fucked her. At that point I told myself I wasn’t going to get hurt again.

So a couple days later when an ex-fling called I decided to meet up with him. I tried to get my mind off you, I slept with him, which is completely juvenile, and I cried the whole way home because I hated myself for it.

When I told mo the next night she tried to convince me it was ok that I had. She and I started up with our own lil party at dinner, followed by her house.

You said we could stop by the next day had come over to continue our party with you, we both wanted e. everything was fine, then mo went to bed, and you asked me if I slept with JJ. I said yes, I couldn’t lie to you.

You commanded I get upstairs, then told me to “lay on the bed, I’m going to rape your ass” I pleaded, and fought, so you pinned me down and forced me to take it.

I didn’t know the man on top of me. You went downstairs and left me sobbing on the bed. I heard you ask mo something and I picked myself up, not knowing what was going on. Mo was in a daze, and I found you in the living room.

You had ME pleading for forgiveness. You had just stripped me of all my rights just minutes before and I was apologizing. I’m so glad it happened, don’t get me wrong, because of that I went to talk to mo and she started getting sick from partying so hard too long,

I was horrified, I had never seen that firsthand, let alone someone I cared about. Looking back on it I think that is the only reason why I told myself I was ok after what you did. What if something happened to mo, we would’ve just been sleeping upstairs, no one to help her. You left the next day before I woke up to avoid me. I wanted to die, I felt so dirty and guilty.

The next week we chatted, I blamed myself for everything and thought I deserved it; I was filming the following weekend after all. You went to Jay’s Christmas party, and Andrew went along. Little did you know at the time, Andrew’s date was a hooker.

She didn’t fuck Andrew, she fucked you…and since she said she always used a condom you didn’t use one. I forgave you, why not? I did for everything else up to that point. We made up, we partied together, and I missed my family’s Christmas because of it. And you let me sleep while you went out with your parents, when you came back, you were upset, and you ended it.

2 days later, the hooker from the party contacted me to say she was pregnant and it was yours, she couldn’t get a hold of you so I got the wonderful news, great. I reminded myself it was an accident, you didn’t do this on purpose, and I stood by your side.

When I saw you a few days later, you searched my text messages and saw merry Xmas exchanges between 2 men from my past and I. heaven forbid I still get along with them. You then took me to Scottsdale for new years to just make me feel guilty.

Once again you commanded me to get on the bed. Saying, “Lay on the bed, I’m going to rape your ass” I was so horrified of you.

Your eyes had even changed. “The more you fight, the longer and more painful it will be“.

Our suite was so isolated, I didn’t know what to do, what you would do, you weren’t yourself and I feared the worst. As I begged, you went to your suitcase and grabbed 2 ties, and tied each ankle to a bedpost.

How do you do that to someone? You told me to bite on the pillow and not to scream. When you stopped I lay there horrified for my life. I didn’t do anything wrong. I don’t care how many times you say I did, I didn’t.

You rubbed my back and said, “mo was right, girls like you are unlovable. No one has ever cared for you, no guys in your past, but I do.” I apologized once again. A part of me felt sorry for you, you know not what you do, even at your age.

I remember saying something smart and you went to grab me again, I ran to the bathroom and locked myself in. you pound and pounded on the door as I pleaded for you to stop.

You eventually did. And I remember lying there on the cold floor half naked; I had never been so afraid my entire life. I crawled out to my purse after several minutes past, I grabbed my phone and then locked myself in the bathroom again to book the soonest flight home.

The suites at Sanctuary are so isolated I was scared to call for help. what if you heard me? I figured booking a flight was safest. When you came back banging on the door, shortly after, I thought you had heard me, I pleaded for you not to hit me, I was sorry, and you promised not to hit me.

When I cracked the door the man I knew was back, you looked horrified seeing me like that you coddled me and said you would never hit me. I remember sobbing while you whipped my tears, I wish you had beat and left me there alone rather than feel what I felt inside.

I am such an idiot for letting you talk me down. I forgave you. I am the fool. Ryan and mark were on their way; my worst fear was having people know what you had done. I honestly, to this day, know from the bottom of my heart that that is not who you are. Maybe I am in denial, but it isn’t you. I got myself ready; I was just one hit of e away from forgetting how much you hated me inside. I’ve never been so dependent on drugs and alcohol, but that was the only time I felt remotely happy.

The next week or so, you flew the hooker in and handled the abortion. It wasn’t yours in the end, and to be honest I forgave you even more so because it wasn’t.

Then we had AVN’s, the last of my journey, I was leaving, all we had to do was get through the week and for me to not have to go on that damn stage to accept an award. We had it; it was supposed to be downhill finally.

I had even changed all my contacts so you didn’t have to worry about “my horrible past” (your words not mine) you still checked my phone and altered most things out of my mouth…. you’d think after years of drugs you’d be aware of your anger and paranoia…maybe that’s just my wishful thinking though. You adored me so much when had good days, others I felt like I couldn’t go on.

The hardest part was that you don’t hear yourself speak. You don’t realize what you say, your body language. A part of me felt you knew that you had hurt me and just tried to push me away as much as possible to end it. That was your way of saving me from you. Although my moods and thought were never clear, it was drugs, withdrawals, then all over again.

And the pain I had was just getting pushed back further in my head, I never had the strength to deal with it. You had become my everything. You controlled me. I lost everything without even realize it. I never once thought of what I wanted. And that was my fault; I loved you more than you loved yourself.

My goal everyday was to make you see the good in yourself; I thought I was special enough to make you see it. But I was too naive at the time. You had cut me out almost completely by march. We had fought and made up for months, and every time was more intense then the time before. I’ll never forget when we were eating at the lil place down the street from you that we used to slip into for a late bite. You randomly said you fucked my as the night before when I was ambiened out.

“Your ass was gapping” you said. I didn’t know what to say, you smiled and said you weren’t lying. You had taken pictures of the whole thing. My body limp while you pounded my ass in my sleep. Pictures for your sick pleasure. You wonder why I cut my arm those few times. How did I let myself get to that point? When and where did I forget about me?

When did I stop defending myself and become a victim? And how the fuck could you smile through it all?? I developed this sick thought that if I could have anal sex with you and thoroughly enjoy it I could forget all the abuse you put me through.

After getting an object “lost in my body” as the nurse put it, one symptom remained. I had nausea, throughout the day, and it peaked midday. The dr. told me he would like me to call my dr. to see if I was pregnant. I told you as I left. Do you remember what you said? You told me to take some tests while you got a coat hanger.

Everything I dreamed it would be when I played house when I was young. Real, fucking gentleman. The whole way home you asked anxiously. The thing that killed me inside was when you said, ” god let’s hope not. I’d rather Vanessa (the hooker) have my child than you.” and you wonder why I lied to you saying that I wasn’t pregnant.

I hurt to so bad inside, my worst fear is that I would never get over the pain you put me through. I couldn’t look at that baby and hurt. I thought I wouldn’t be a good enough mother because of it. The thing that hurt most was that you wouldn’t change, you don’t want to. Look how long Nicole has been in your life, and you still haven’t. Why would you for this kid? You take such horrible care of yourself like nothing will ever happen.

I had you lying in my arms twice were you had taken too much and you had no idea you and spazming, and I remember lying there, watching you, crying. I was horrified. What if something did happen?

I lost my dad when I was 6, and it is hard. I have siblings that still aren’t over it 15 years later. All these reasons just scared me, I didn’t know what to do, and I was too scared. I was so in love with you still, and I didn’t want to blame you. I figured if you didn’t know I could only blame myself.

A few days later you got mad at me for celebrating Odette’s new show with her and the cast. I was drinking and men were hitting on me, they all knew I was in love, everyone knew about you. I had no life outside of you, how could they not? Yet you were pissed and ripped me to shreds the next morning. You altered my story, you were so mad; you didn’t even actually listen to a word out of my mouth. I blurted out I was pregnant.

And your exact words were, “well then we have another problem, it can’t be mine.” How the fuck could you say that?? I changed everything for you, just so you could cope with your own problems. I kept my mouth close so you could think what you wanted to. You were the center of my world and you accused me of cheating on you??

Do you know what that did to me? A couple days later we went to dinner and we talked about it, I told you was going to a clinic by my mom’s, I had planned on you never knowing. You said with Vanessa it is ok, but in my case it was sad. And you had the look in your eyes I never saw before. I felt that I was hurting you, so I tried to let you think I made the whole ting up.

But in the end, I couldn’t. I needed you. Every reason I had led to you, and I loved you so much I didn’t want you to hurt. That’s why I lied. If you didn’t know, you couldn’t stop me, and I couldn’t blame you the way I wanted to. You know I wanted that baby, you knew how much I love kids. But I wasn’t strong enough, I was selfish. I hurt too much. I thought couldn’t keep him/her.

The shitty thing is I will regret my decision every second, of everyday until I die. I keep telling myself I would’ve never been able to give he/she everything they deserved, but I’m just lying to myself. You asked how I felt when I came back; it wasn’t much but I am so glad you tried a little. Honest, I really am. The thing that destroyed me the most was one week, to the day, after my procedure we called Andréa (your hooker who you buy drugs from).

She had some friends with her, they partied with us. I was upstairs when you brought her up to your room. She went into the bathroom and you put your arms around me, and kissed me. I instantly had tears in my eyes. I said, “I can’t do this” you told me “don’t worry, there won’t be any insertion”.

I went downstairs and cried in the bathroom then went out to mark and the girls and numbed my pain with my chemicals. The next day when we woke up you said was weird at the end of the night, I seemed uncomfortable, you asked if I felt weird around the hookers, didn’t it remind me of the old days? You the fuck did I ever do to you to deserve the way you treated me?

That was the first time you put your arms around me since my procedure, do you know that? I remember reading a book on coping next to you, I was crying. When you shut off the light you heard me set the book down and said, “I didn’t realize you were awake.” I needed you more than anything at that point. It took 2 weeks and you asking me to never speak to you 3 times before you hugged me and said “it was sad”, that’s it.

You were partying more, your moods were worse than ever. You wanted me out of your life completely. That was it. You left me when I had nothing.

I have never felt the pain I had inside ever in my life, and it scared me to death. And you just kept ignoring me, doing more drugs. You lashed out when you found out I was coming back to work. I was trash, a whore; I was a waste of your time. I’m just a 21-year-old girl trying to get my life back, and it’s going to take a long time. I was afraid to talk about anything after you threatened to retaliate if I did. You told me I was crazy and I made things up. I wish I were.

There have been nights I go to bed hoping I won’t wake up. Everyday is harder than the last. Keeping quiet has caused the pain to become unbearable. I’m not ok, but I will be. Because if am not, you win. And you have had a hold of me too long. You know, all I asked for was an apology, you cut me out of your life completely instead. But the hard part is that I will never hear the words I’m sorry come out of your mouth. I don’t hate you.

I hope one day you see how amazing you are underneath it all and can love yourself instead of sabotaging yourself. That’s the worst pain, seeing you destroy yourself. You can’t see how much it hurts those around you even when they are screaming in front of you with tears streaming down their cheeks. It’s been months and things have only become worse. I’m glad you’ve numbed the pain that I have to feel every goddamn day.

 

It’s agent shaming time!

I found this great post today on Facebook.

I don’t know who this agent is talking about – of course I have my suspicions but I can’t say for sure. I did however think I should share this with you. Clearly it needs to be said to more than  a few people in our industry working with talent.


Dear Agents,

How dare you, as a so called grown man and woman, treat your girls the way you do. It truly bothers me as a Human to talk to so many girls each day and hear the same stories over and over again about the same 7 Agents.

Hearing girls being put out on the street cause they don’t have the money for the model house you put them in but yet you have not sent them on there go sees or booked them work in 3 weeks. Booking Escorting work for your girls are you a Pimp or an Agent pick one both just don’t work.

Booking your brand new 19 year old talent her first shoot and its an Anal shoot. Girls are sitting in the model house with no money for Cigarettes, Food, Water, Tampons and so on cause you cant book them work. Even 1 shoot a week would help.

Its not hard i do it all the time but maybe i just put the real time and effort it takes to run a business and help my girls. I take money out of my own pocket to make sure my girls have food and what they need to be happy.

There’s so much more i want to say but I’m gonna end my vent today with saying taking your license and shove it deep up your asses because it’s worth shit if you’re not doing 100% of what an Agent should be doing!

Remember you work for the talent they don’t work for you.

Ladies if you’re facing any of these issues please call me or message me right away and i will help you.

Tony Bones says Ariel Bell is a flake

Before you book aspiring starlet Ariel Bell you might want to think twice about it.

So I get a talent submission and look at her and go I can’t use her.   Then I get to thinking.  Some guys like scars so we talked.  After 5 attempts of her not showing or called she tells me she cant do it because this this and that.  I think that was a no brainier.  As you can see from the pictures ouch.  I mean the tats were ugly but I tried to be mr nice guy.  She looks like she had a nice ass in the one picture.  Well if she contacts you cornflake.

ariel bell

Source: Tony Bones

What kind of jack ass tricks girls into being an escort?

If a girl is going to escort, or do “privates” as some call it, then it should be her choice. What kind of jack ass tricks girls into being an escort? Apparently the answer to that question is Derek Hay of LA Direct Models. Because apparently, that’s just how they roll.

derek-hay-and-la-direct-models2

You may not have heard of the porn star Tiffany Fox before, but she’s doing something rather brave and I want to give her credit for it. Some people say you should never air your “dirty laundry”, but then what should a girl do when she’s been wronged, abused and taken advantage of? Shut her mouth and hope for the best? Yeah that totally is a great way to solve the very serious problems facing our industry.

Tiffany Fox

Today’s problem isn’t anything new. We’ve been speaking out against the likes of Derek Hay of LA Direct Models for a long time now. He’s been skirting the law for years.

But this time it might have bitten him in the ass.

According to Tiffany Fox (via Twitter @RealTiffanyFox), she was sent on a job claiming it for for a legit shoot. Turns out by legit shoot, LA Direct Models meant, private escorting gig for some random John.

RealTiffanyFox-Twitter

Tiffany Fox did the right thing. She could have kept her mouth shut, left LA Direct Models and signed with another agency, to avoid the potential backlash she might face for outing Derek Hay and LA Direct Model’s illegal practices as acting as an escort agency, but no … she did the right thing. She told the truth.
Heck, she even got an attorney and reported it to the FBI.

This very incident is why I’ve always been against LATATA, the union of porn agents, because Derek Hay can use his influence to say, to try and black list this girl, when all she did was the right thing.

What LA Direct Models did to her was wrong. You don’t send a girl out to be a hooker, when you tell her it’s for a legit movie.