Fucking Funny ePass Joke

Read a fucking funny ass joke on GFY today about ePass.

This morning I was woken up by loud knocks almost breaking my door down, I get up from bed and see 3 big guys in leather jackets that came to collect the money

here’s what I told them.

First, be assured that your funds are fully safe and protected. The funds are secure. The details are complicated, because there are funds in motion.

I also told them that they are my most important asset and I’m not going to treat them anyway other than the best I can.

Finally I added, “Rest assured that when I know something you will all be satisfied with the results. Again, your money is safe.”

They responded by breaking my nose and smashing my head on the nearest wall they could find. T
hey will be coming around tomorrow to collect

Fleshdrive Offers Snooki $100k for Endorsement

Radar Online is reporting that Fleshdrive offered Jersey Shore’s Snooki $100,000 to endorse their product, which recently Howard Stern endorsed.  He went on and talked about it on his show the other day for about 20 minutes.  It’s not often you get a major mainstream media figure to endorse an adult product for free, let alone go on about how great it is for 20 minutes on the air.

Jersey Shore’s most famous pint-size ‘guidette’ Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi has a large offer coming her way.

FROM RADAR ONLINE: See Snooki’s Endorsement Offer Letter Here

A company called FleshDrive produces a small USB drive that is preloaded with adult content and RadarOnline.com has learned exclusively that they have extended an offer of $100,000 to Snooki in hopes she’ll endorse their product.

“Our company image is that we pack a big punch in a little package,” the letter reads. “Who better to endorse our product, than the woman that does exactly that?  “We know that Snooki makes a big impression wherever she goes and that is why her tiny figure and incredible attitude will fit perfectly within the FleshDrive world.”

No word yet from Snooki’s rep whether she’ll take the deal, but it seems like a pretty sweet offer.

According to the letter, her deal will span over the course of three years and she’d be obligated to shoot three FleshDrive commercials and attend three shows a year to promote their technology.

Most of the Jersey Shore cast members have banked on their newfound fame – do you think Snooki will follow suit?

A spokesperson for Snooki tells RadarOnline.com, “We have not yet received the offer.”

The history behind the vibrator

Yesterday’s post about the new “Vibrator” movie coming to the big screen got me thinking a lot about my favorite little toy. So I looked into it’s history and this is what I found:

As we know, the dildo has been around since ancient times, however the first vibrator was not invented until the 1880’s and it was actually invented for use in a doctor’s office.

Women who were diagnosed with afflictions hysteria and neurasthenia (fatigue, dizziness, headaches, anxiety, depression) were treated by valvular massage. This was not thought of as sexual at all, but as real therapy for their aliments. Patients genitalia were massaged until they reached paroxysm–a sudden outburst of emotion or action (They were actually having an orgasm). Seeing as some women would take almost an hour to reach this “paroxysm”, it could be very tiring for the treating physician. Thus, doctors experimented with mechanizing the process. Hydrotherapy—the shooting of water directly at the patient’s reproductive region—proved effective and became quite fashionable. It had its drawbacks, though: It was messy, expensive, and not easily portable. So,in the 1880s, a British doctor stepped in to invent the first electric vibrator, an industrial-size contraption meant to be a permanent fixture in a doctor’s office. It was a major labor-saver, allowing many patients to reach paroxysm in less than 10 minutes.

Photo courtesy of Athena Images

Around the turn of the century, entrepreneurs began to recognize the huge potential market for hand-held vibrators for home use. It is said that vibrator innovation was in fact a driving force behind the creation of the small electric motor. Hamilton Beach of Racine, WI, patented its first take-home vibrator in 1902, making the vibrator the fifth electrical appliance to be introduced into the home, after the sewing machine and long before the electric iron. By 1917, there were more vibrators than toasters in American homes. Dozens of patents were issued for new designs between 1900 and 1940.

Photograph courtesy of Good Vibrartions

Starting in the 1920s, stag reels revealed the true nature of the vibrator and the sex toy that is was. The most famous of these stag reels was The Nun’s Story. From the 1950’s-1970’s vibrators were sold in mail-order catalogs under “disguise”, such as back massagers, back scratchers, and nail buffer kits. but by 1973, In 1973, Betty Dodson started masturbation groups for women to raise their sexual consciousness. She wrote a book called, Sex for One that was such a huge hit, it was translated into eight languages. That same year, Eve’s Garden, a sex shop for women, opened in New York City. Good Vibrations followed nearly five years later in San Francisco.

Vibrators came back into the mainstream in the 1990s, thanks not to radical feminists but to the Reagan administration. With the public health threat of AIDS looming, Surgeon General C. Everett Koop mailed out a list of safe-sex options to every household in the land in the late 1980s. Vibrators were on it.

For more information of the history of this fabulous little machine, please see:
In 1999, Rachel Maines published The Technology of Orgasm, a provocative history of the vibrator that she spent 20 years researching. The Technology of Orgasm has become one of the best-selling histories of technology of all time.

Stars of “Speed” get it on LIVE tonight

Stars Of The AVN Editor’s Choice SPEED Go LIVE In A Special Two Hour Web Event

LOS ANGELES, CA (ROADS TO MOSCOW) – Canoga Park-based adult industry powerhouse Wicked Pictures is pleased to announce that the sexy cast of Brad Armstrong‘s SPEEDjessica drake, Kaylani Lei, Kirsten Price and Alektra Blue –  will team up for an exciting two-hour live event this Wednesday evening, September 22, 2010 at 8:00 PM PTZ on www.wicked.com. This announcement follows news issued earlier today that Armstrong‘s explosive, three-disc motorcycle opus has received an Editor’s Choice “AAAAA” review from Adult Video News founder Paul Fishbein, who dubbed the explosive three-disc release “one of Wicked’s best releases ever.”

While the 2010 AVN award-winning (Best Group Sex Scene, 2040) Wicked Girls have paired up for online events before, Wednesday night will mark the first time four contract superstars have teamed up for a single web show. Once logged in, lucky www.wicked.com members will enjoy a full two hours of sizzling HD action. Lively question and answer sessions, exclusive giveaways and exciting viewer request segments will punctuate the kind of uncensored and 100% live debauchery that only jessica, Kaylani, Kirsten and Alektra can deliver.

Throughout the evening, the Wicked Girls will introduce sexy clips from the movie and regale viewers with gossip straight from the set as they relive some of their favorite moments live for www.wicked.com members. And Wicked fans are invited to brush up on their knowledge of the company’s product as the ladies will give away exciting gifts as they hit viewers with a series of trivia questions. At press time, gifts include a stylish motorcycle helmet worn in the movie and autographed by the contract stars.

Wicked Pictures Chief Technology Officer Avi Bitton is understandably proud of both the preparation that’s being put into Wednesday night’s show, and Wicked‘s live events in general. “We do them regularly in true HD, with a professional camera operator and equipment. It’s not a webcam show. It has none of the usual limitations, and we offer an enhanced interactivity with our brand, especially with our exclusive contract talent. We offer these events as a premium service to members of Wicked.com.”

And for those who wish to see SPEED prior to its September 30th street date, he reveals “SPEED is available to members of Wicked.com for exclusive-pre-release in stunning h.264 high-bitrate HD for real streaming and download. Also, we have partnered with StreaMate for delivery of our live events, and Streamate will be marketing our shows separately throughout their network of cam sites and affiliates.”

On partnering with Wicked for live events, StreaMate owner Shawn Boday enthusiastically adds, “StreaMate has been bringing users the highest quality streams since 2003, and we are thrilled to be working with Wicked in broadcasting The Girls of Speed Live!”

While SPEED goes on sale September 30th, you can make Wednesday evening your time to get to know the four sexy stars of the movie  Adult Video News is already heralding as “one of Wicked’s best releases ever, one that should sell for years to come.” With two hours of sexy activities planned, this extravaganza with jessica, Kaylani, Kirsten and Alektra promises to be the definitive live celebration of Wicked‘s stellar talent and distinctive brand.

To learn more, please visit www.wicked.com.

A Roads To Moscow Communiqué.

Diamond Foxxx on-air tonight

Hear the Premier MILF Talk Directing, Producing and Dishing the Dirty Stuff


VENICE, CA – It’s been a real breakthrough year for Diamond, with a slew of award nominations, including the upcoming NightMoves Best MILF Performer, directing and producing her first movie, and making an impression on everyone who sees her work with dynamic performances.

Wednesday night she will make a return appearance on Playboy Radio’s NightMoves where she will talk with hosts Christy Canyon and Nicki Hunter about life as adult’s newest superstar.

“Christy and Nicki are so much fun,” Diamond said. “Having been porn stars themselves, they really know where the talent is coming from and how to ask questions that most wouldn’t think to ask. That’s what makes these appearances so special and I’ve got a lot going on, so we’re going to have plenty to talk about.”

Night Calls broadcasts live Monday through Friday from 4-7 PST from Los Angeles. The show can be heard on channel 99 on both XM and Sirius. Listeners are encouraged to phone in their questions and comments by calling in toll-free at 877.205.9796. Diamond?s appearance will begin around 5 pm.

Voting is still open for the NightMoves Awards. Diamond is nominated for Best MILF Performer. Vote at http://www.nightmovesusa.com/vote.php. She will be appearing at the show, which will be held October 10 at the Dallas Bull Night Club, and the events surrounding it.

For more on Diamond Foxxx visit http://risingstarpr.com/news/?page_id=914.

Finally a movie about vibrators!

Maggie Gyllenhaal Will Help Invent Vibrators In “Hysteria”

(From Cinema Blend) Maggie Gyllenhaal’s made a name for herself as a dependable actress, but she’s never really been any better than she was in the complicated, edgy, sadomasochistic sex movie Secretary. She does sex movies like nobody else. So there’s good reason to be excited about Maggie’s next project, in which she’ll help invent the first vibrator.

The movie is called Hysteria and it’s set in the Victorian-era. Gyllenhaal tells the Guardian, “I play a firecracker whose father is a doctor who is in the business of curing hysterical women. He cures them basically by getting them off and that actually happened. I end up having a sort of unexpected love affair with this guy who works for him, and who by mistake invents the vibrator.” Believe it or not, this idea is being classified as a “rom-com”.

The plot may sound far-fetched, modern moral delusions suggest to people that vibrators were invented yesterday, but it’s not. They’ve actually been around for awhile and back before their husbands learned to give a damn, women really did go to doctors to get off. It was viewed as therapeutic, much like a Swedish massage. At the time Doctor delivered orgasm was a common cure for “hysteria”. Later in the 50s, hysteria’s the sort of thing you might have seen Cary Grant curing with a good slap. Given the options, the medicinal orgasm was probably a better solution.

Character actor Jonathan Pryce (he played Elizabeth Swann’s father in Pirates of the Caribbean) will play Maggie Gyllenhaal’s hysteria-curing doctor father. Hugh Dancy and Rupert Everett are in the film too, as fellow medics, and it’s they who discover the orgasmic miracle that is vibration.

This Ain’t Avatar XXX 3D trailer

Can XXX Avatar do for Hustler what mainstream Avatar did for James Cameron?

I was excited to finally see a sneak peak at Hustler’s new Avatar XXX parody, but the trailer is only 46 seconds long with less than 30 of actual footage. Needless to say I was very disappointed. Instead of leaving me clamoring for more, it really just pissed me off! Judge for yourself.

Misty Stone stars in Hustler’s This Ain’t Avatar XXX 3D. It is coming to DVD and Blu-ray September 28th in a two-disc set that includes both a 2D and 3D version of the film! for more information visit www.HustlerHollywood.com

Congrats to Sasha Grey

Sasha Grey will be gracing the October 2010 cover of Playboy magazine. But to make the deal even sweeter, she’ll be the first pornstar to make the magazine’s cover. But if you’ll notice, Playboy tags her as “Entourage’s” Sasha Grey, not “Pornstar” Sasha Grey for her guest stint on the HBO show. I found that very interesting; she’s a pornstar, everyone knows she’s a pornstar, so why not just admit it!!

Jenna Presley on ImLive

Busty brunette bombshell Jenna Presley is getting ready to give you the wildest night of your life! This sensational starlet is known for her sexy squirting style – and now she’s coming to ImLive! You really don’t want to miss this brazen beauty’s stunning performance on October 13th as she broadcasts LIVE from her home!

Chat 1-on-1 live with Jenna Presley and she’ll make you beg for more! She’s ready and waiting to show you her most intimate side, live from her own bedroom! Chatting with her won’t cost you any money, but you need to make sure that you have ImLive Credit in your account. No credit will be deducted from your account during your chat. If you need to purchase credit for the first time, or if your account is empty, get ImLive Credit NOW!