Author Archives: Scott Fayner

About Scott Fayner

Former contributing editor at LukeFord.com.

KEVIN MOORE RESPONDS TO OUR ALLEGATIONS

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Fayner Posts : So yesterday I wrote how I think Kevin Moore is running lukeisback.com . Basically it was just what people have been telling me. But Kevin doesn’t believe he is running the site now, as you will see if you read the below email he sends me

scott,

First I’m a child molester and now I own your competitor. I guess you should also expose that I’m the third gunmen on the Grassy Knoll. I didn’t realize buying ads (cheaply) makes me an owner.

So if I advertise or skin your site does that mean I own LukeFord.Com as well?


The affiliate manager for MoleCash buys all the ads and bought the ads directly from Luke. I guess Luke is trying to sell the site because of some real job he wants to get. That’s what I understand. Maybe you should buy the site. You could own them both.

Fayner Continues: So there we have it. I suppose it’s now down to me and Dave Navarro as the two suspects. Unless Kevin is lying. That is always a possibility. Not with me, though, I never lie.

And for the record, I never called Kevin a child molester. I just said he looks an awful lot like one.

ENGLAND TRYING TO RUIN FUTURE CROP OF PORN CHICKS

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Fayner Posts: I was reading the other day about how Woolworths which is a chain of retail stores over there as well as one in Waltham, Mass, has decided to stop selling a bed titled “Lolita” due to parents complaining about how the name suggests the girl is a tramp.

Lolita, of course, was the name given to Amy Fisher after she had an affair with a much older and much uglier Joey Buttafucco while she was still underage. I believe Lolita is also the name of a book by some Russian dude about pretty much the same thing only I think it was a step-daughter/step-dad thing in the book.

But then I got to thinking about how much the industry needs this Lolita bed. I mean, I didn’t attend the convention last month, but from what I heard from people and what I saw in pictures there is an ugly flu spreading across the Valley these days with no hope of easing up. And you should be scared.

And maybe England could have produced the next big star if not for the meddling parents and their concern over what very well could have been hundreds of thousands of dollars for some sleazy porno producer living in Encino.

How dare they!

DID YOU HEAR THE ONE ABOUT THE PRIEST, A CHILDREN’S AGENCY SPOKESMAN AND THE TWO LITTLE BOYS?

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Fayner Posts: This is a story about Florida’s Department of Children and Families, its spokesman and at least two young boys.
It could have very easily been about the Catholic Church, a Priest and an alter boy.
This time it isn’t.
And its fucking sad, too, ’cause people put their faith and trust into people in these positions, and when they betray the trust by making sexual advances at their young sons someone should have their balls snapped off and fed to them.
And okay, so sometimes when I’m coming home from Taylor’s house I drive by El Camino high school just to check out young asses as they walk home from school. But only the ones I know are over 18 years of age, and only for a second. I would never proposition them, both in fear of getting arrested and fear of rejection.
Obviously, I was just kidding there. I don’t even have a car, let alone gas to make it go vroom! Vroom!
I don’t know, read this story found HERE if you care at all about things other than penis and vagina.

SO WHO IS RUNNING LUKEISBACK THESE DAYS?

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Fayner Posts: I’m the first to admit I enjoyed reading TheRealLukeFord while Luke was still at the helm. He said the things about my friends I was never allowed to say because, well, they’re my friends.

But as many already know, TheRealLukeFord ain’t writing for the site anymore (well, I think "writing" is the wrong word to use, as it is mostly just copy and paste). I think it’s quite obvious.
 
It was hot-or-miss for a while there since the posts were so few and far between and mostly were just copy and paste so it was hard to figure out who was doing the writing, but when I read "Luke" saying something about his "fellow tribesman" Gene Simmons I knew there was an imposter at the wheel.
 
First off, Luke isn’t even Jewish. I’m still not sure why he still believes he is. Jewish people have Jewish blood in their veins. I don’t care how much you studied the Torah if you ain’t got the blood you are not one of us. And I hardly think TheRealLukeFord would ever say "fellow tribesman"…
 
There are a few people I’ve been told could be running things over at Lukeisback.com . Here is my list.
 
Kevin Moore – There were whispers about this from the start. But why? I don’t know. I do believe the MoleCash skin plastered on luekisback is owned by Kevin, which would make perfect sense, right. I don’t know.

Dave Navarro – The ex-Jane’s Addiction guitarist has ruined everything in porn that his slimy fingers has touched, so this makes perfect sense to me that he now runs lukeisback.

Scott Fayner – I only had two on the list, and since a list should be three or more I decided to throw my name into the hat. I mean, didn’t I own PornoGossip, too? Oh, no wait, that was T.J.

NICK MANNING: DROPPING LOADS AND DROPPING CALLS

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Fayner Posts: I got some funny information over the weekend about everyone’s favorite Latin Lover, Nick Manning.

It seems the long-haired freak has decided to go into the Ringtone business.

No, seriously, I’m not kidding.

Go to his site www.nickmanning.com and see how amazingly silly the man is by going to the ringtone page and listening to all the different things he says after his trademark “Dropping Loads!” scene finale.

The multi-talented Manning will drop loads on your cellphone, on your text messages, even on Rudolph’s nose for some strange reason or another.

The Nick Manning ringtones cost $1.99. They are ridiculous and childish and anyone who uses one of Manning’s sayings as their ringtone should be hanged, drawn and quartered.

Seriously.

What’s next on the Ringtone horizon? Jenna saying “I’ll never spread my legs in this business again!”? Max Hardcore’s classic “Not guilty” plea from one of his many court appearances? I don’t know.

Just wondering if anyone has actually purchased one of these ringtones of Nick Manning, ’cause it is one thing to offer them up for sale but an entirely different thing to buy one or all, and I’m scared just thinking about any of this anymore.

Me? What do I have on my ringtone? I have Joey Lawrence from Blossom doing his classic line “Whoo!”

Wait, I just got a great idea: Nick Manning and Joey (I think he goes by Joe now) Lawrence doing a duet of their catch phrases. “Whoo! Dropping Loads! Whoo!”

Now that is a ringtone I would buy for two bucks.

JONNI DARKKO SCORES BIG WITH “E FOR EVA”

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Fayner Posts: Because in a recent post about Eva I mentioned how Jonni Darkko just shot a movie about her and I couldn’t get a copy ’cause getting Jonni on the phone has become harder than the fucking President of these United States. And sure, I’m well aware that the Prez only uses one of them children’s play phones by Mattel where you get to talk to Big Bird and Oscar the Grouch, but you get the picture: Darkko doesn’t answer his phone.

But then following the post I got an email from Jonni asking for my address so he could overnight me a copy of E for Eva. I gave it to him.

I watched it just now, and damn! Let me tell you I think its actually dirtier than Jenna Haze’s Darkside if you forget about the whole sick priest/bad slut vibe.

‘Cause Eva is one fine slut. She does a boy/girl, a 4-way girl scene, a blow bang (Tony Testa’s favorite fetish), solo, gang bang, anal, DP and some black dude with a large penis.

Although I find Eva to be quite delectable in so many ways, I must point out that this movie would not have been nearly as good if not for Jonni’s superb camera work, wardrobe and imagination. Sure, the guy never picks up his phone, but when you think about it did Einstein ever pick up his? Or George Washington? Or Neil Armstrong? I don’t think so. I guess all true geniuses stand clear of the telephone.

I don’t recommend much to you all, but if you like hot chicks doing extremely dirty things sexually then I must insist you go out and buy this or download it or whatever the kids are doing these days.

CHECK IT OUT HERE

WHY TOMMY GUNN’S GUNN MODELS WILL KICK ASS

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Fayner Posts: Some of you may know about performer Tommy Gunn stepping in to the talent agency racket recently with Gunn Models. And in a porno world where agencies pop up faster than Jeremy Steele to a $50 Bukkake shoot, one must wonder if the likable Gunn can actually climb above the bottom-feeding crowd to achieve greatness as a top-notch agent to the people who shed their clothes and fornicate for money.

Only time will tell I guess.

But here are a few reasons I believe Tommy Gunn can become the next top modeling agency. You make up your mind from there.

I believe these points I am about to make grant TG and his Gunn Models a place not only in our hearts but in the history books as an amazing place to find work doing sexual things your mother would not enjoy knowing about.

1) Tommy Gunn’s body is just so wonderfully sculpted, it is as if the Gods themselves created TG from the remains of great warriors and lovers from the past.

2) Tommy could just be the most likable guy in the whole business. Always smiling, always flexing his muscles and always wearing a tank top; the three most important characteristics of a great man.

3) I’ve never noticed any horrific odors coming from him when I run in to him at industry events. This is important in both agent and talent.

4) TG spends an hour each morning looking into the mirror while telling himself how special he is, how awesome his chest looks while oiled up and how perfectly still his hair is no matter how many times he tries messing it up.

GUNN MODELS CAN BE FOUND HERE

PORNO SKI BUNNIES

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Fayner Posts: So Taylor had the idea the other day to go snow boarding up in Big Bear. I thought, great, here we go, its gonna be another cold-ass trip where I’ll be tripping on e alone while TR bitches about how her pill got lost and a shitty time is had by all.
I was wrong, ’cause not only is Taylor sober but a few of other porno chicks decided to also make the 2 hour trek from L.A.: Staci AKA Alaura Eden AKA ADMIRAL FUNBAGS, Lisa Marie AKA LISA MARIE-HE HE! and Bianca Dagger. Our friend Pablo (or as TR calls him, Paulbo) and his little brother also came along. Paulbo’s brother is best friends with Nikki Sixx from Motley Crue’s son and I was thinking about how much it must suck having Brandi Brandt (sp?) for a mother and Donna D’Eriko (sp?) for a step-mother when you’re a teenage boy. Now I’m sure one of my sick friend’s has probably at one time pictured my mother when beating off, and I don’t like thinking about it one bit, but imagine having two former Playboy Playmates for mothers?
Anyway, the ride sucked due to large pieces of ice falling from the sky at breakneck speed. But after we got to the house and La Bella took a shit on the floor, it became the most wonderful place on Earth. My bloodhound Sara Rib-Eye took to the snow like, I don’t know, a porn chick to a dick. Good thing there’s lots of snow here.
All them are snow boarding right now, leaving me to watch the 3 dogs. Oh yeah, Lisa Marie-he he is passed out in back cause she fell too many times on her ass yesterday and she needs her ass to work making porn.
I was just outside with the dogs smoking a bowl and some guys working next door started talking to me about the bloodhound, and when the guy asked me what I do in LA and I told him and then said that porn chicks were here his face lit up like, I don’t know, a Christmas tree. Wait that sucked. His face lit up like Tiffany Holiday’s crack pipe in an alley while she services random people for $10 a shot. "Hey Charlie," the guy yelled to one of his workers. "Taylor Rain is staying in that house right there!" They all became giddy. It was cute.
Oh yeah, I was starting the gas grill outside last night to make dinner and when I threw in the match the whole thing torched and I looked down and the tank was on fire, probably due to a frozen line. Either way it sucked, and I thought it was gonna blow up in my face. But to save the porn chicks I reached underneath and turned the gas tank off and then threw a bunch of snow on it and then took the fuck off as fast as I could.
And I didn’t even get a measly handjob. I mean, I saved everyone’s lives!!! I think that is atleast worth a fucking handjob!
Don’t you?

EVA ANGELINA A FRAUD?

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Fayner Posts: So with all the hoopla surrounding Eva these days, and the fact that I finally met her on New Years and thought she was really cool (I even met her new husband, some English bloke) I decided to see for myself why everyone is making such a fuss about the young, heavy-chested chick from Orange County.

So I got my hands a stack full of her movies (I tried to get Jonni Darkko’s latest starring Eva but couldn’t due to me not being that important anymore in the business) and began studying them. And as I watched and watched more and more of her scenes I began seeing things that really intrigued me.

In some of the scenes, Eva has her left nose pierced. In others, her right. This makes me think there may be a lookalike doing half of Eva’s scenes to help her skyrocket to the top. I think it worked. But what of this other Eva? Does she keep her locked in the basement? Or maybe she doesn’t even know about this opposite-nose-ringed chick making money off her good name? This could be true, as we all know that O.C. isn’t known for pumping out brainy chicks…

But all in all, I think Eva (and her evil twin) is an awesome performer. She does do this funny thing where when she’s getting pounded and can’t catch her breathe and then when she does she says some long thing super fast before she again loses her breathe. Picture saying something like the following in under three seconds: “Oh my god, it feels so good you’re fucking my wet pussy so fucking hard fuck me harder now oh my god fuck it harder oh harder or harder.”

Could you do it? Well Eva can. I’m sure fucking her is difficult when she does this cause it would be hard concentrating while she’s belting out porno catchphrases at breakneck speed. But you know what, I’ll give it a try if she ever so desires.

All in all, if you haven’t touched yourself to Eva yet, I suggest you atleast give it a try. She’s perky, hot and pleasing to the boner. What else can you ask for in life?