PLEASE JOIN SCOTT FAYNER AND TYLER DURDEN EVERY NIGHT WEDNESDAY THROUGH SATURDAY BEGINNING AT 3 AM AS THEY HOST A PARTY AT THE VENETIAN CASINO CIRCLE BAR.
NO LINE
NO DRESS CODE
NO INVITATION NEEDED
IN WHAT EASILY HAS A CHANCE TO WIN TOP HONORS IN THE “RETARDED STORY OF THE YEAR” AWARD…
A UFO CULT PREDICTING THE APOCALYPSE WILL COME THIS JULY SEEKING TO RECRUIT PORNO PERFORMERS FOR ITS FINAL CELEBRATION BEFORE WE ALL EXPLODE INTO A MILLION PIECES.
THE CATCH IS ONLY MEMBERS ARE INVITED TO THE PARTY. MEMBERSHIP COSTS $30.
QUESTION IS, WHAT GOOD IS THE MONEY IF THE WORLD IS GONNA END?
CLEVELAND, Ohio, January 2, 2006: The Church of the SubGenius has announced that the end of the world will take place on Wednesday, July 5, 2006. In preparation for the fulfillment of this doomsday prophecy, the Church is requesting that all of its members participate in a bizarre religious ceremony taking place in upstate New York, during the final weekend before the arrival of the apocalypse.
Since its inception in 1953, Church founder J.R. “Bob” Dobbs has predicted that a fleet of flying saucers will arrive at the beginning of July to destroy the worldwide Conspiracy against the Church of the SubGenius, while all ordained SubGenius ministers will be rescued by escape vessels piloted by the Alien Sex Goddesses, also known as the Xists.
The Church is inviting all of its members worldwide to gather together for the final hours in Sherman, New York from Thursday, June 29 to July 5, at a clothing-optional outdoor campground called Brushwood Folklore Center. The first gathering at this compound took place in 1996, and the event has increased in size and participants each following year. 1998 was designated the first true “X-Day,” and each successive year has added one to the total. This year’s celebration in 2006 is X-Day 9, or X-Day IX.
The Church has been engaged in a massive recruitment campaign to increase the numbers of its membership before the arrival of the Xists. According to Church records, the organization currently has approximately 100,000 members worldwide. SubGenius recruitment has been especially dedicated among the ranks of people who refuse to conform to the norms of society, including disbelievers, blasphemers, pranksters, rebels, hackers, pornographers, geeks, and outcasts.
The Church is seeking performers and producers from the adult entertainment industry in particular, because sexual freedom has been an important part of Church doctrine from the start. X-Day will be a celebration of pornography and adult entertainment, and certain parts of the event will be restricted to adults only. Only ordained ministers of the Church of the SubGenius are allowed at the event, but the Church is accepting memberships at its standard rate of $30 up until the final hours of July 4.
The Church of the SubGenius has been no stranger to controversy since its foundation, and the upcoming X-Day celebration promises to be no different. In the late 1980s, members of the Church were accused of spreading a virus in Macintosh computers known as the “Peace Virus.” Numerous articles have been written on the Church in such noteworthy publications as the New York Times, Washington Post, Wired Online, Boston Globe, U.S. News and World Report; and broadcast reports have been produced by CNN and NPR. In April 1999, officials of the city of Cambridge, Massachusetts shut down an official SubGenius Devival gathering in the belief that the Church was affiliated with the Trenchcoat Mafia (the organization blamed for the Columbine high school shootings), though authorities later realized the association was mistaken. In its January 1, 2000 issue, a Time magazine poll declared J.R. “Bob” Dobbs the biggest fraud of the 20th century.
Detailed information about X-Day can be found on the World Wide Web at the X-Day Web site:
The official home page of the Church of the SubGenius can be found at:
Photographers, entertainers, production companies, radio broadcasters, and all media producers are encouraged to contact the Church at its Cleveland, Ohio headquarters at (216) 320-9528.
Contact: The SubGenius Foundation, Inc.
Phone/Fax: (216) 320-9528
stang@subgenius.com, jesus@subgenius.com
ALL THIS TIME WE’VE BEEN HEARING ABOUT HOW BAD COMMUNISM IS AND HOW WE’RE NUMBER ONE, BUT THEM BAD CHINESE COMMUNISTS ARE THE ONES WINNING THEIR WAR ON PORNOGRAPHY WHILE WE’RE STUCK TRYING TO DO NUMBER ONE WITH A FINGER JAMMED UP OUR ASS ‘CAUSE WE CAN’T FIGURE OUT WHAT THE FUCK WE’RE DOING.
AND WHEN WE SAY “WE” WE MEAN THE DUMB SHITS “RUNNING” THE COUNTRY (INTO THE TOILET…)
China routinely blocks access to internet sites on sensitive subjects such as self-ruled Taiwan, which China regards as its own territory, and the 1989 Tiananmen Square pro-democracy demonstrations, which were crushed by the military with heavy loss of life. Regulations also target sites that publish fabricated information and content deemed to harm national security.
“The spread of web sites that involve pornography has been bought under effective control,” the Ministry of Public Security’s internet security and supervision bureau’s Zhao Shiqiang told a news conference.
Police had detained 221 people and shut down almost 600 domestic pornographic web sites as of the end of November, Mr Zhao said.
“Due to the specialised nature of internet technology, there are still some places where pornography exists,” he said. “Harmful information on overseas sites can still be transmitted internally, and a minority of people try to use the web to carry out illegal activities.”
China has been taking aim at violent web-based games as well as spam, fraud and gambling.
An average of 60 million spam emails are sent every day in China, according to security ministry figures.
New rules have targeted internet news content to tighten the noose on freewheeling bloggers and rein in a growing source of information for the mainland’s more than 100 million internet users.
They also ban posts that “instigate illegal gatherings, formation of associations, marches, demonstrations, or disturb social order,” indicating a lesson learned from anti-Japanese protests that swept China last April and which spread in part due to postings on internet bulletin boards and chat rooms.
Fayner Posts: Okay, I was flying back to LA from Austin, TX this past weekend. I hate flying. I had a middle seat. That blows chunks.
I was sitting between a homo paralegal from West Hollywood and some big-titted chick.
We got to talking.
When the question of what I do for a living came up, the big-titted chick perked up.
“I love porno!” she said. “I even have a subscription to Hustler!”
“Really? I asked.
“Fuck yeah. I read every issue.”
“Ever read that story “Taking a porn star home to mom”?
“That article was awesome! Did you read it?”
“No,” I replied, “But I wrote it.”
“No fucking way!” she exclaimed. “That rules.”
I agreed with her, then grabbed my new iPod and cranked some Cinderella until we landed.
Shanna would gladly share information about herself if it weren’t for the cock in her mouth
LETTER #1
Hello Fayner,
First let me wish you an HAPPY NEW YEAR
Im a french porn fan since 25 years ! Im now 40 ! Can you help me with some requests ?
Im looking for any infos about Shanna Mc Cullough ? Websites or pictures or everything…. 🙂
Annette Haven may be super old now, but isn’t she still pretty strokable?
And last, do you know where i can find actual pictures of golden age stars ?
Thanks
Take care
Joe from Belgium
Fayner Says: Shanna’s site is http://shannamccullough.com
There are many sites for elderly porno pics, and http://classicpornstars.com/ is one of them.
LETTER #2
Dear Scott Fayner
I am writing you to tell you that I am a fan of your site. A lot of the stuff you write about is funny and I totally agree with your political views. I stumbled upon your site a long time ago and since then have been reading it every now and then. I am a senior at Providence College in RI and had a couple questions. I am not trying to interview you for some college paper or anything else like that, unlike that last college asshole that was a friend of your friend or your old college roommate’s brother (whoever it was I guess it really doesn’t matter) that tried to interview you. I was wondering if it is even worth going to the AVN’s, like as a fan. Is there anyway to get tickets and just hang out at the convention? Would you recommend going to any other convention or shows of this nature? Also, are their any marketing jobs in the adult industry. I mean there must be. (But any openings and opportunities?.) Being marketing major I just wanted to look into it.( and seeing it as a 8 billion dollar industry). I would appreciate your feedback but I do realize you’re probably busy with other shit. Thanks for your time.
Fayner Says: Guess what? I am too busy with other shit.
1) Dick Bandit, we hope you stay alive for another year.
2) Ben English, hope your used Astin Martin helps attract a lot of chicks and dicks.
3) Scott Fayner, hope your used Saturn gets you from point A to point B safely and swiftly.
4) Tiffany Holiday, best wishes for you gaining 25 pounds.
5) Larry Flynt, best wishes that you stop allowing kin to fuck up your company.
6) David Joseph from Red Light, just keep doin what you’re doin!!
8) Greg Alves from Zero Tolerance, just keep Wendi happy.
9) Travis Nestor, good luck finding a new bitch!
10) Jesse & Rich Jane, best wishes to your new marriage.
11) Gauge, best wishes that you please come back!
12) Rita Faltoyano & Tommy Gunn, best wishes to stop flaking.
13) Shy Love, best wishes you wake up and see the truth!
14) Taylor Rain, best wishes on purchasing real estate.
15) Kelly Erikson & Anthony Simone, keep it up as the best looking couple in porn.
16) Jerry from Mallcom, best wishes on buying up the world.
17) Nate Dawg, best wishes on SCORING with ANY CHICK.
18) Vanity, best wishes on fooling more dumb as guys!!
19) Dcypher, best wishes on winning Director of the Year
20) Norman & Jackie, best wishes on your engagement.
21) Mike Adams, best wishes on your new 5 series BMW
22) Justine Joli, best wishes on just being you, HOT HOT HOT
23) Johnni Darko, just keep being DA MAN
24) Nacho Vida, good luck in figuring out what the fuck you are!!!
25) Ashley Blue, good luck with another year at JM
26) Jules Jordan, keep cranking out the best porn there is.
27) Skeeter Kerkove, good luck in life and beating the false allegations.
28) John Stagliano, good luck maintaining the best company in the business.
29) Jenna Haze, good luck in your B/G comeback.
30) Tera Patrick, good luck on knocking out more killer sex vids.
31) Luke Ford, best wishes that you keep writing the best stories in the adult biz.
32) Tim Connelly, best of luck in 2006 that you come back healthy and stronger than ever!
more to come
EX-STRIPPER FINDS GOD, NOW ON A MISSION TO FORCE-FEED HER BELIEFS ON THE REST OF US
From www.worldnetdaily.com A former stripper is taking off all pretense when it comes to the Word of God, as she’s on a mission designed to bring porn stars, nude dancers, and people addicted to pornography closer to God.
“We pattern our ministry after the very ministry of Jesus by actually going to the people who need him,” says Heather Veitch, who performed in Las Vegas and California. “Our desire is for people to see that Christianity is anything but boring and restrictive. In Christ, we are free to experience adventure, pleasure, forgiveness, hope and peace.”
The 31-year old full-time hairdresser has created a sparkling website called www.jcsgirls.com which has had 40,000 hits in three months. The page was launched some six months ago in the wake of the alcoholism death of a friend and co-worker from a strip club in Colton, Calif. So far, it has helped several nude dancers to start attending church.
A Christian for the past five years, Veitch also cares for her terminally ill husband and her two children, ages four and 13.
“As a successful Vegas stripper, I lived life to the extreme,” says Veitch. “I partied with celebrities, traveled, and found pleasure in the lifestyle that stripping provided. However, deep down inside I was terrified to die. Feeling like I would eventually pay the price for the life I lived, I began ‘bargaining’ with God.”
“The pleasure, excitement, attention and love I get from living my life in the way God planned is far better than the unfulfilling and regretful life I lived before asking Jesus into my heart,” she adds.
Also part of the JC’s Girls team are Lori Albee and Tanya Huerter, married teachers who grew up in Christian homes, and appear in glamour-gal shots on the website.
“They remind me of ‘Charlie’s Angels,’ but they are for real!” says documentary filmmaker Bill Daly in an on-site testimonial. “They’re fighting false glamour with real spiritual beauty.”
The gals also run a blog on site, providing the public with the latest information.
An entry from Heather dated Dec. 1 reads: “Lori, Tanya, and I are learning all about porn conventions. There is so much crazy stuff that you need that we would have never thought of … like carpet.”
INTRODUCING OLDIE OLDENCLAW
Fayner Posts: TR found a dog on Thanksgiving out in the desert. An old dog. Ancient. Dust and bones. One foot from the grave.
Being the sweet kind caring porno babe that she is, TR brought the decrepit from the scorching desert heat so it wouldn’t die while she looked for the rightful owner.
That was a week ago. I’m still being told the owners are probably still in Glamis on vacation, although many have agreed that the loss of a pet would cause most who loved their dog to end their fun in the sun, so Oldie Oldenclaw has been brought to the house of Fayner and Nate to visit until the rightful owners are contacted and come get their very old dog I have named Oldie Oldenclaw.
I got up this morning to start building a coffin for Oldie. She is super old. I mean, she has trouble lifting her ass to take a shit. That is old.
Anyone know this dog? I don’t have a picture, but just imagine a really old dog that misses her mommy and daddy.
Let us know.
EVER DEEP-FRY A TURKEY?
MANY HAVE
MANY HAVE ALSO FUCKED IT UP AND BURNED THEIR HOUSE DOWN
PHOTOS BY THADDY WARBUCKS
from www.theoympian.com
“Don’t talk to strangers” is one of the first rules most parents teach their children.
But that rule is rarely followed on the World Wide Web.
The anonymity of the Internet often gives stalkers, sex offenders, scam artists and other criminals easier access to children, authorities say.
Here are some questions and answers about online safety.
Q: What are some signs that my child might be at risk for an online predator?
A: There are several signs to watch for. Among them:
• He or she spends large amounts of time on the Internet, especially at night. While predators are online around the clock, most work during the day and spend their evenings online trying to locate and lure children or seeking pornography, authorities say.
• You find pornography on your child’s computer.Sex offenders often supply porn as a way to strike up a conversation and seduce potential victims. Report any online child pornography to your Internet service provider and the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children at 800-843-5678.
• Your child is receiving telephone calls from adults you don’t know, or is making calls, sometimes long distance, to numbers you don’t recognize. Online predators often engage in “phone sex” with children, or use the phone to set up an actual meeting for sex.
Some predators obtain toll-free 800 numbers so their potential victims can call without their parents finding out. Others tell children to call them collect.
• Your child tuns off the computer monitor or quickly changes the screen when you enter a room — a sign that he or she might be viewing or posting inappropriate material.
Q: What should you do if you suspect your child is communicating with a sex predator online?
A: Consider talking openly about your concerns and suspicions. Review the material on your child’s computer for pornographic or sexual communication. Monitor your child’s access to all types of electronic communications, including chat rooms, instant messaging, text messages on cell phones. Sex offenders usually meet potential victims in chat rooms, but continue to chat with them via e-mail or other form of private communication, authorities say.
Q: How can you minimize the chances of a predator or scam artist victimizing your child?
A: It’s all about communication.
Teach your child about the potential of online danger: Let them know that it’s important to never give out personal information over the Internet, such as their real name, address, telephone number, school, workplace and hometown. Tell them never to agree to a face-to-face meeting with an online friend without your permission. If they plan to meet an online friend, they should take a friend, and arrange the meeting in a public place.
Other suggestions:
• Ask your child to show you his or her favorite Web sites.
• Get to know your children’s online friends, just as you would their regular friends.
• Use parental controls provided by your internet service provider, and find out what online safeguards are in your child’s school, library and friends’ computers, places outside your normal supervision.
• Monitor chat room use.
• Maintain access to your children’s e-mail accounts, and randomly check their messages.
• Consider asking your child to sign an Internet safety pledge, an agreement between the two of you about what’s OK and what’s not in cyberspace.
“As long as the parents and child have an open communication, put the computer in a common area and follow some common sense tips …they shouldn’t have a problem,” said Detective Jason Glantz, with the Washington State Patrol’s Missing and Exploited Children Task Force.