About Taylor Rain

Former editor and chief at LukeFord.com.

TAYLOR RAIN MEETS THE NEIGHBORS

TMFR WRITES

I LOVE CHRISTMAS TIME! IT IS A TIME TO GET PRESENTS, EAT LOTS OF GOOD FOOD AND PARTY WITH YOUR FRIENDS. ALSO, SMOKE LOTS OF POT OF COURSE! IT’S MY FAVORITE HOLIDAY EVER!

MY HOUSE IN THE HILLS IS ABOVE ALL OF MY NEIGHBORS. THEY CAN HEAR EVERYTHING…THE DOGS BARKING ALL DAY, ME AND KEITH FIGHTING OVER HOW MUCH MONEY I SPEND ON CLOTHES AND OUR LATE NIGHT ROCK BAND PARTIES. PLUS I ALMOST HIT ONE NEIGHBOR EVERY DAY IN MY CAR CAUSE WE ALWAYS LEAVE AT THE SAME TIME AND NEITHER OF US EVER LOOK TO SEE IF ANYONE ELSE IS BACKING OUT OF THE DRIVEWAYS INTO THE STREET. HE’S AN ANGRY MAN WHO LIVES ALONE SO HE OBVIOUSLY IS JEALOUS OF MY FAMOUS LIFESTYLE AND HATES ME.

NORMALLY I’D SAY FUCK YOU TO HIM BUT BECAUSE IT IS CHRISTMAS TIME I FELT I NEEDED TO BE MERRY AND BAKE SOME NON-POT COOKIES FOR ALL OF MY NEIGHBORS TO SAY SORRY FOR BEING SO LOUD ALL THE TIME AND HAVING DOGS WHO LOVE TO BARK.

BUT FAYNER KEPT SAYING I’D CHICKEN OUT OF GOING ROUND TO ALL OF MY NEIGHBORS WITH COOKIES, AND YOU KNOW WHAT HE WAS RIGHT! SO I FORCED HIM AND STACI TO COME ALONG WITH ME! HOLLA! PLUS FAYNER BROUGHT SARA THE BLOODHOUND PUPPY TOO DRESSED ALL CHRISTMAS CAUSE I THOUGHT BRINGING A PIT BULL OR MASTIFF WOULD REALLY SCARE ALL OF THEM. I TOLD FAYNER TO SHAVE FIRST BUT HE DIDN’T. WHAT A SCUMBAG!

WE GO TO THE FIRST HOUSE, THEY HAVE LOTS OF BARKING DOGS TOO! I KEPT KNOCKING BUT NO ONE ANSWERED! I ASKED STACI IF I SHOULD JUST LEAVE THE COOKIES FOR THEM ON THE DOORSTEP. STACI SAID NO ONE WOULD IN THEIR RIGHT MIND EVER EAT STRAY COOKIES WITH NO NOTE. WE WENT TO THE NEXT HOUSE AND THEY WERE HOME. I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT TO SAY I WAS SO NERVOUS. HAPPY HOLIDAYS! I SHOUTED THEN ASKED IF THEY WERE JEWISH OR NOT CAUSE WE MADE A BUNCH OF CHANUKKAH COOKIES TOO. THE LADY WAS REALLY NICE.

THE NEXT HOUSE I WAS REALLY SCARED OF CAUSE I KNOW THEY CAN HEAR EVERYTHING AND I MEAN EVERYTHING THAT WE DO. THE LADY ANSWERED AND LOOKED CONFUSED BY MY NICENESS. WE LIVE RIGHT THERE I SAID POINTING TO OUR HOUSE. OH, SHE SAID REALIZING WE ARE THE PEOPLE WHO MAKE HER LIFE A LIVING HELL, AND THEN PRETTY MUCH JUST SLAMMED THE DOOR IN OUR FACES. WE SAW KEITH AT THE WINDOW AND HE YELLED DOWN TO THE LADY “DON’T EAT THE POISON COOKIES!”

THE NEXT TWO HOUSES THE PEOPLE WERE REALLY NICE, EVEN THE JEWISH GUY WHO ALSO HAS THREE DOGS THAT FIGHT THROUGH THE FENCE WITH MY DOGS EVERY DAY. THE GUY ONCE TOLD KEITH THAT HE CAN HEAR EVERY CONVERSATION WE HAVE WHEN WE’RE OUT ON OUR PORCH. AWESOME!

BUT THE ONE NEIGHBOR I WAS SCARED TO SEE I DIDNT HAVE THE BALLS TO GO TO HIS HOUSE. FAYNER KEPT SAYING FUCK HIM HE HATES YOU DON’T DO SHIT FOR HIM BUT FAYNER IS A JEW AND WOULDNT UNDERSTAND. BUT I GOT TOO SCARED TO FACE HIM AND JUST SKIPPED HIS HOUSE.

ALL IN ALL I THINK IT WENT WELL. I KNOW THEY ALL STILL HATE US CAUSE WE’RE FAMOUS AND THEY’RE NOT BUT FUCK IT CAUSE TIS THE SEASON TO BE JOLLY RIGHT?

NEXT YEAR WE’RE MAKING A MIX OF POT COOKIES AND REGULAR COOKIES SO THE COOL NEIGHBORS WILL GET TO GET STONED OFF THEM AND SAY THAT TMFR IS A FUCKING AWESOME CHICK!

HOLLA AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS

TMFR

TOP TEN THINGS BANDIT IS TERRIFIED OF THIS YEAR

 

TMFR WRITES:

 

FAYNER SAYS BANDIT IS A PUSSY ‘CAUSE HE SLEEPS UNDER THE COVERS AND LOVES TO GIVE KISSES AND WALKS AROUND ON HIS TIP TOES! HE EVEN CAME UP WITH A NEW LIST OF THINGS MY BOY B IS CURRENTLY AFRAID OF! SOMETIMES I JUST HATE FAYNER!

 

HERE IS THE LIST HE MADE

 

BANDIT IS SCARED OF:

1) CHRISTMAS GIFT RIBBONS

2) CANDY CANES

3) ONE INCH TURTLES IN A TANK

4) A FRAMED PICTURE OF HIMSELF

5) A SPY CAMERA

6) WHIPPED CREAM

7) A JAR OF DOG TREATS

8) A TIN OF ALTOIDS

9) BASIL IN A CUP

10) A $20 BILL AND BELGIAN CHOCOLATE, BUT ONLY TOGETHER. SEPERATELY HE IS FINE WITH THEM.

ALL I WANT FOR X MAS!!!

TMFR WRITES:

I HAD TO MAKE A LIST CUZ I HAVE A LOT OF THINGS ALREADY AND NO ONE LIKES TO GET DOUBLES AND RETURNING IS A BITCH!!!! EVERYTHING ON THIS LIST IS FOR MY FIANACE TO GET ME!!!SO HERE WE GO………………

1. THE LOVE RING FROM CARTIER

2. THE LOVE NECKLACE FROM CARTIER

3. LOTS OF STCKABLE DIAMOND RINGS SO I CAN CHANGE IT UP!!! (FROM TIFFANYS)

4. ATLAS DIAMOND NECKLACE AND BRACELET FROM TIFFANY’S

5. SOME NEW 3CT DIAMOND EARINGS FROM TIFFANY’S

6. 18 GOLD HEART NECKLACE AND BRACELET FROM TIFFANY’S

7. LV SPECIAL EDITION WATCH THAT CAME OUT THAN LESS THAN A WEEK AGO!!!!!!

8. AND A FEW OTHER JEWLRY ITEMS BUT I’M NOT GOING TO PUT THOSE UP SORRY!!!

9. BRAND NEW LV MONAGRAM PURSE WITH MATCHING WALLET

10. JEWLRY CASE FROM LOUIS VUITION

11. PEG70 MONOGRAM LUGGAGE ON ROLLERS LV

12. BLACK CANVAS LV SPECIAL EDITION BAG WITH MATCHING HEELS!!!

13. FULL LENGTH COAT FROM LV BUT IT TOTALLY LOOKS LIKE A CHANNEL COAT

14. RED LV BATHING SUIT! IT’S THE CUTIEST!!!

15. AND THE NEW I POD TOUCHSCREEN!!!

16. 2B FREE JUMPSUITS!!! THOSE ARE MY FAV!!!

AND THAT’S IT!!!

ANYONE THAT WANTS TO GET MY SOMETHING I LOVE HELLO KITTY! I’M ON THIS WEIRD KICK OF HELLO KITTY STUFF! I REMEMBER WHEN I WAS LITTLE IT USED TO MAKE ME SO HAPPY TO BE ABLE TO PICK OUT 5 DOLLARS WORTH THE HELLO KITTY STUFF!!! FUNNY SHIT!!!

ALSO, THERE IS THIS WEBSITE www.artguitar.com THEY MAKE CUSTOM GUITARS FOR ROCKBAND!!! THEY ARE SO SO SICK BUT THERE IS A CATCH THEY ARE SO BACK ORDERED THAT I WOULDN’T GET ONE TIL JAN.15 SO IF ANYONE KNOWS ANYONE SO I CAN GET ONE NEXT DAY DELIVERY I WILL PAY ANY PRICE FOR IT!!! HOLLA 420!!! MY E MAIL IS: taylorrain@gmail.com

HERE’S MY PO BOX:

22817 VENTURA BLVD. #123

WOODLAND HILLS, 91364 CA

TMFR

TAYLOR RAIN LIVE CHAT DEC. 7TH

TMFR WRITES IN HER JOURNAL AT CLUBTAYLORRAIN.COM:

WATCH ME AT SUNDOWN AROUND 4:20PM LIGHT THE CANDLES FOR THE 3RD DAY OF JEW DAY!!!!

THIS IS MY FAVORITE TIME OF THE YEAR AND PROBABLY IS MY FAVORITE HOLIDAY OF THE YEAR!!!

I WANT YOU GUYS TO WATCH ME ENJOY THE HOILDAYS AND SEE HOW US JEWS IN LA DO THIS!!!!

FUCK IT!!! I’M RIPPED!!!!

C YA AROUND 4:20PM(PCT)!!! WAIT AROUND CUZ SOMETIMES WE ARE RUNNING LATE CUZ OF COMPUTER DIFFICULTIES!!! HOLLER 4:2O!!!

TMFR

I AM DONE SHOPPING…………

TMFR WRITES:

FOR CHRISTMAS!!!! I WANTED TO GET ALL MY SHOPPING DONE BEFORE DEC.1 CUZ OF ALL THE HIGH TRAFFIC OUT IN THE VALLEY AND IN BEVERLY HILLS BOTHERS ME!!!! I DID IT!!! MY LAST DAY OF SHOPPING WAS ON SAT!!!! I AM SO PROUD OF MYSELF BUT KEITH AND FAYN THINK I’M GOING TO BE BORED FOR THE REST OF DEC. NOT REALLY!!!! I HAVE PLANS DUH!!!

ANYWAYS, JUST WANTED TO LET YOU GUYS KNOW THAT I’M DONE SHOPPING SO I WILL BE NO WHERE TO BE FOUND EXPECT FOR MAYBE ON THE SLOPES!!!! C YA SOON! CHECK FOR LIVE CHAT TIME/DATE ON MY BLOG!!! HOLLA 420!!!

TMFR

NEW ROCKBAND

 

TMFR WRITES:

 

I MET A GREAT CONNECT ON MYSPACE THE OTHER DAY!! HE WORKS AT BEST BUY PLUS HE’S A FAN SO HE SAYS YES TO EVERYTHING I SAY! HOLLER!!!

SO LAST THURSDAY EVERYONE CAME OVER FOR MY LIVE CHAT AND WE PLAYED ROCKBAND FOR ALL MY FANS!!!

WELL ROCKBAND ALREADY BROKE! FIRST IT WAS THE GREEN BUTTON ON THE NEW GUITAR AND THEN MONICA MAYHEM WAS PLAYING DRUMS AND THE FOOT PEDLE BROKE ON US!!! FUCK RIGHT???

 

SO NOT EVEN 2 DAYS LATER I GOT A E MAIL ON MY MYSPACE SAYING ” I AM ONE OF YOUR BIGGEST FANS!!! I WORK AT BEST BUY SO IF YOU NEED ANYTHING HIT ME UP 818.420.5555!!!”

 

SO I HIT HIM UP RIGHT AWAY!!! HE WAS VERY SHOCKED THAT I WAS EVEN CALLING HIM! SO I SAID TO HIM I NEED THE LCD AQUOS SHARP PLASMA, A NEW HP DESKTOP, A NEW X BOX LIVE HARD, AND I NEED TO RETURN MY ROCKBAND ASAP!!! OK NO PROLEM HE SAID! SWEET I WILL HOOK YOU UP WITH WEED, PORN, PILLS, OR SOME HOOKER TO BLOW YOU!!! AWESOME I WILL CALL YOU AND LET YOU KNOW WHAT I COULD HOOK YOU UP WITH! WORD!!

 

COUPLE DAYS LATER I CALLED HIM IN A PANIC! ” I HAVE FRIENDS COMING OVER FOR OUR DOGGIES BIRTHDAY AND MY FRIEND TRAVIS’S B DAY SO I NEED TO RETURN THE ROCKBAND NOW!!!!!” HE SAID “THERE ARE ONLY TWO LEFT I WILL PUT IT ONE ASIDE HURRY UP AND GET HERE CUZ PEOPLE ARE GOING NUTS!!!! OK ON MY WAY, 2 HOURS LATER I CALL HIM AND TELL HIM I’M IN TRAFFIC BUT I WAS REALLY JUST SHOPPING IN THE MALL!!!!

 

GET THERE AND THE PARKING LOT IS FUCKIN NUTS BUT WE MANAGED TO GET ROCKSTAR PARKING OF COURSE!!! ANYWAYS THE GUY HAD IT AT HIS REGISTER JUST LIKE HE SAID HE WOULD AND THEN HE TOOK STAC AND I TO CUSTOMER SERVICE AND SAID EXCHANGE THIS FOR HER PLEASE!!! AND THEY DID! WE WALKED OUT WITH THE DUDE WE HANDED THE GUY A HUGE BAG PORN AND A GRAM OF NITRO OG AND HE REFUSED TO TAKE THE PORN FROM US! WEIRD RIGHT??? BUT HE DID TAKE THE WEED!!!

 

ANYWAYS THE GUY IS SUPER COOL I GAVE HIM A LIST AND HE IS MEETING ME LATER TONIGHT! 70% OFF ON MOST SHIT! SWEET!!!

 

 

THANKS BEST BUY GUY!!! YOUR FAN TAYLOR MUTHA FUCKIN’ RAIN!!!

 

PEACE OUT!!!

 

TMFR

 

TAYLOR RAIN’S THURSDAY CHAT POSPONED UNTIL 8 PM PACIFIC TIME

TMFR WRITES:

SO I’M SUPER EXCITED FOR THE “ROCK BAND” CHAT ON THURSDAY AT MY OFFICIAL SITE WWW.CLUBTAYLORRAIN.COM WITH MANY SPECIAL HOT GUESTS INCLUDING ALAURA EDEN, MONICA MAYHEM, JENNA PRESLEY, BIANCA DAGGER AND MORE!!!

HOLLA!

BUT I HAVE A PREVIOUS ENGAGEMENT AT LOUIS VUITTON (FAYNER’S TAKING PICTURES) SO THE CHAT WILL HAVE TO START AT 8 PM WEST COAST TIME!! WE’LL BE PLENTY SHIT FACED SO I GUARANTEE LOTS OF BOOBS AND WEED AND ROCK BAND!

TAYLOR RAIN LIVE CHAT THURSDAY…. FOR REAL

TMFR WRITES IN HER JOURNAL AT CLUBTAYLORRAIN.COM:

I HAD ONE BUSY WEEK LAST WEEK SO SORRY FOR FORGETING MY LIVE CHAT!!! I PROMISE I WILL MAKE IT UP TO YOU GUYS THIS WEEK!

IF YOU READ MY UPDATE ABOUT ROCKBAND TRYOUTS IT’S REALLY GOING DOWN THIS THURSDAY! I AM GOING TO DO OUR TRYOUTS LIVE ON MY WEBSITE! I WILL HAVE THE BAND SET UP AND YOU WILL BE ABLE TO WATCH US ALL PLAY ROCKBAND!!!

I WILL BE SINGING, PLAYING BASS OR GUITAR, AND THE DRUMS!!! ALSO, I WILL BE CHATTING WITH YOU GUYS AND THERE WILL BE SOUND OF COURSE SO GET YOUR COMPUTERS READY SO YOU CAN FEEL PART OF OUR BAND WHERE EVER YOU ARE!!! : )))

THIS LIVE CHAT WILL BE STARTING AT 6PM (PCT) ON NOV.29 (THURS)!!! DON’T MISS OUT CUZ IT’S FUN JUST WATCHING THE BAND!!!! HOLLER 420!!!!

PEACE OUT!!!

TMFR