Fayner Posts: Went to Orange County with Taylor yesterday to see her little brother in the hospital. Rabies. It’s a bummer. No, actually he got a sinus infection. It’s also a bummer, mostly ‘cause he’s too young to get unlimited morphine for the unbearable pain.

Stopped at Taylor’s mothers house to pick her and her other brother up.

Taylor and mom were in the backyard smoking a joint. Her brother, only 6 years old, was playing video games in the living room. I was searching the house for a photograph of Taylor taken years ago with big glasses that I desperately want. Not finding it, I made my way out back to join the gals and the joint.

“Hey mom,” I said to Taylor‘s mommy, “you know that why you’re out here getting stoned your 6 year old son is inside playing Grand Theft Auto, right?”

“That’s okay,” she replied.

“It is?”

“Sure. I don’t like to shelter my kids.”

“Have you ever seen the game?”

“No, but how bad can it be??”

“Well,” I began, “there’s one mission, for instance, where you have to go and burn down fields of marijuana.”


“I guess I shouldn’t mention how you carjack and beat people with hammers and bats and fuck hookers.”

“No,” she said while puffing away on the joint, “you best keep that to yourself.”

Later, Taylor‘s mother was telling us about how she was at his school recently while the kids were doing picture association or some shit like that. The teacher would show a picture and the children would have to say what it is. I guess that ain’t exactly picture association but…

“So the teacher holds up a photo of a pipe, the kind an old man would smoke, and my son stands up and says “my mommy has one of those!” The teacher pretended not to hear him. I was so embarrassed!”

“You should be writing this down,” I jumped in, “cause from what I hear coming up with a good Mother of the Year speech is quite difficult.”

“Fuck you Scott. Just hand me the damn joint, will you?”

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