Smokin’ Crack 2: Cock Is A Girl’s Best Friend
Rock & Porn Rebel Turns Debilitating Hobby Into Series
(Chatsworth, Ca)- Despite letters of warning stemming from the first release from such notable organizations as the Free Speech Coalition, PAW, AIM, Dirty Bob, and The Crackwhore United National Triumvirate Porn Star Anti-Defamation Squad of America, (American CUNT PAD for short) Mayhem contract director Barrett Blade has gone ahead and released the second installment of his controversially titled anal series; Smokin’ Crack. Given the affinity rocker turned porn stud turned smut peddling whoremaster Blade once had for sniffing on white lines, the aptly named series is a fitting tribute. These days he’s cooking up sweet, cum sticky ass crack, instead of railing the yayo, and stacking up money in the bank. The results of this crazed sexual pharmacology are nothing short of incendiary.
“We’ve got the sweetest, youngest anal whores in the business getting their juicy ass cracks plowed by so much meat it’s ridiculous,” offers the spiky coifed, tattoo smeared director. “These dirty fuck dolls take delightful rectum reaming deep into their blossoming bungholes until the sweet nectar explodes out of their ripe, chubby cunt lips and their assholes look like they had been hit by a scud fucking missile. We had a medic on the set for most of the shoot, seriously.”
Among the stunning young starlets to take to the anal chaffing and radically unhygienic ass-2-mouth acronym action were Penthouse Pet & Sin City contract star Hannah Harper and ‘sweet-as-felched-whip-cream-&-lollipops’ Georgia Peach. Also featured was the incomparable cocksucker Naudia Nyce, the buxom anal princess Brooke Haven, and ‘I-can-pick-up-a-quarter-with-my- sphincter’ Davia Ardell. A wide assortment of meat puppets were required to facilitate the filming process and a full list of these swarthy swordsmen can be found on the original packaging, which features a truly mesmerizing hardcore posterette for maximum viewing pleasure. Indeed, consumers will be blown away to discover the wealth of extra features included in the DVD as well as the minutiae of interesting bonus materials, making this movie feel like a million dollars worth of value.
“I don’t know if you’ve ever seen that pirate movie everyone was talking about,” mumbles Sin City spin doctor Devan Cypher, “but it’s nothing at all like that. This movie is full of all those hot, cracked-out stripper bitches you piss your money away to at the club, getting their shitters straight jacked up and fucked open until they can’t sit down or shit right for two weeks. A couple of the girls do curse like dirty pirate hookers though. Tell Newsweek they can print that.”
Smokin’ Crack 2 hits stores 2/08/06.
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