Alright, so April Fool’s day is now over, and obviously I did not make a post. This was on purpose, out of protest slightly. As much as I love playing jokes as much as the next guy, the jokes are just so outlandish and obvious now and generally not funny. Like Google is really going to colonize Mars? Or that Company X bought Company Y and all of Company Y’s employees are now fired. Neither are really funny or original. Let’s just rename the holiday to “The Day We Do Horribly Unfunny, Unoriginal ‘Pranks’ On One Another”.

If you had a good April Fool’s prank on someone, post it in the comments. I’m just getting tired of these huge companies getting ridiculously out of hand and putting me to fucking sleep with their lame ass “jokes”.

A man is waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without a torso, arms or legs.

The son is just a head!

But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion.

After 21 years, the son is now old  enough for his first drink. Dad takes him to the bar, tearfully tells the son he is proud of him and orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy.

With all the bar patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief, the boy takes his first sip of alcohol.

Swoooop! A torso pops out! The bar is dead silent; then bursts into a whoop of joy.

The father, shocked, begs his son to drink again.

A guy is driving around Tennessee and he sees a sign in front of a house: “Talking Dog For Sale.” He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a Labrador retriever sitting there.

“You talk?” he asks.

“Yep,” the Lab replies.

“So, what’s your story?”

The Lab looks up and says, “Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running.”

“But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn’t getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security wandering near suspicious characters and listening in.”

“I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I’m just retired.”

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

“Ten dollars,” the guy says.

“Ten dollars? This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?”

“Because he’s a liar. He never did any of that stuff.”