Get your slightly distorted fantasy celebrity

Ok, blowup dolls for me never did it. I mean, its obviously plastic. And I’ve seen TV shows where men go over the edge and believe that that is their actualy girlfriend/wife who they want to share their life with and find this to be natural. Of course, you are creating the perfect dream girl and your mind is just filling in the blanks of what she says when you talk to her.

Now, as sad and pathetic as that is, I got an email regarding this company and their inflatables. Look, I’m all for robot sex slaves, I cannot wait for the day that I can drop 9 grand on a complete cyber skin, partial AI, lips and pussy and ass that can get wet or lubed automatically by the robot and have it actually try to grind back and forth with me. When that day comes and I model mine into either Taylor Rain or Aria Giovanni (I haven’t picked yet), then I’ll truly be happy and can say fuck having a wife. Until then, anything you actually blowup is just too fake. Look at the pictures on that page. Does that REALLY look like J.Lo, or “J.Ho” as they call her?

I just don’t get it. Yes, I’ll buy the fake pussy to put on my dick and rock it up and down so that instead of my hand it feels like a pussy. But the whole doll? Wouldn’t it be more effort to set them up in positions unless they have some AI so that when you say “doggystyle” they know they are going to get on their hands and knees and my cock is going right up their ass? And it isn’t even a problem cause hey, its a robot.

Some credits to Rob Phaneuf for e-mailing me about these monstrosities. People, serious, if you want sex toys, you go to the store. Why? Because… I mean come on…. its PORNSTAR.COM. You know they are the best because they went out and got the right name – PORNSTAR.COM. Second, go to the actual main site whereupon entering you will see a lovely double dicking of the gorgeous, almight Taylor Mother Fucking Rain. Let it be known now that, given the chance anywhere in the world, I would strip and fuck her. In the middle of walmart, in the middle of a freeway, halfway up Mount Everest, whatever. I think Taylor is fucking insanely hot and still backs her as long as I’m writing for it. You rock Taylor! And Fayner isn’t half bad either. Truth be told, I admire the fact that he got into the industry and got through it as he did. Seems like a pretty chill life to me. Ok, the point is though, there is some excellent porn on Tons of high quality images, videos, anything you want or need. The site is a one-stop-shop for all your porn needs and desires. Thats why we advertise them. I don’t advertise shit I don’t believe in (ok, once I did throw an ad up for the Jack LaLane Juicer…). So seriously, go get all your porn needs there. No need to buy a weird plastic doll that is going to probably be rough against your skin anyway. Get the sculpted pussies with real cyber-skin that vibrate and cum or something cool before you blow your money on a poor representation of a celebrity on a balloon.

But please people, remember, Fayner he has his own website now. I’m taking over here at Please keep sending in cool shit to ryanrayzer[AT] gmail DOTcom. Anything you would have sent to him I’m more than happy to take, read, possibly disprespect it, or possibly post it if I find it cool enough, In fact, the next post is going to be some good release news.

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