Fayner Posts: I rarely hear from Mia Rose, but when I do you can bet your bottom dollar it’s something good I’m about to hear. Yesterday was no exception.

“So Sunday night I sat at home and watched movies,” Mia tells me. “Then I went to sleep. At about five in the morning, I get startled out of bed by someone banging on my front door. ‘Who the fuck is it?!’ I yelled down from the window. ‘It’s the police, ma’am. Can you please come down?'”

“I open the front door, and there’s like ten cops all staring at me. I mean, I know I’m hot and all, but c’mon, right?! Anyway, I let the main cop in and he sits me down. He asks me where I was during the hours of two and four, I say ‘I was sleeping up until the time you started banging on my front door!’ So anyway, as it turns out, my red Mazda Miata was stolen from my parking space and used in a late night 7-11 hold-up or something like that. And to make it even worse, my Miata got wrecked in the ensuing car chase! Can you believe my fucking luck?! Now I have to get another car!”

“Are you gonna get another Miata?” I ask.

“Hell, yeah! I love the Miata! This new one’s gonna be twice as good as the last! I can’t wait!”

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