Who will win the Oscars? Ask a stripper!


The results of the annual Academy Awards “stripper poll” from the Rick’s Cabaret New York Girls have just been released, and the sexy ladies have chosen the winners in all the main categories.

The Rick’s Cabaret Girls are very confident in their collective ability to predict the Oscar winners. “The frontrunner for Best Actor this year is definitely James Franco,” declares Rick’s Cabaret Girl Mackenzie, 36C-25-35. “They asked him to host the ceremony simply so he’d definitely show up to collect the award,” she says. “Well, he deserves it for sure,” adds Rick’s Cabaret Girl Martha, 33C-23-33. “His role on General Hospital just blew me away,” she continues.

The Rick’s Cabaret Girls think Franco, one of the busiest actors in Hollywood, needs to take a night off and spend it with them at Rick’s. “He’s also studying for a PhD at Yale right now,” exclaimed Rick’s Cabaret Girl Suzette, 36D-26-34. “He really needs to get over here and let loose,” she says, insistently.

The Rick’s Cabaret Girls Complete List of Oscar Winners for 2011:

  • Best Actor: James Franco
  • Best Actress: Natalie Portman “because she plays a dancer!”
  • Best Picture: The Social Network “it’s making history!”
  • Best Supporting Actor: Christian Bale “because he has to stop yo-yo dieting for movie roles. Maybe if he wins, he can just start counting calories like the rest of us.”
  • Best Supporting Actress: Amy Adams “because she’s a natural redhead, and that’s really rare.”

All of the other categories are “too technical” for the Rick’s Girls to concern themselves with…

Rick’s Cabaret is located at 50 West 33rd Street in NYC

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