So I was reading the press release for the new Charlie’s Angels parody and I gotta say these people have balls! If you were to only skim the article you would really think this was the movie to put all other movies to shame! But how do we know, the movie hasn’t even been release yet! Normally a movie is made, then released, and they if it is really good it will get nominated for all sorts of awards and sales will be phenomenal. If it is really great movie, you will still hear about it long after it’s release; maybe even considered a legend. Take DEEP THROAT for instance. But to make such audacious claims when a movie hasn’t even been release is just plain ballsy or just really stupid (I haven’t decided yet). So let’s break down this press release, shall we?
Blockbuster Charlie’s Angels XXX Parody Could Provide Big Boost for Retail Sales
Not Charlie’s Angels XXX is showing every indication of becoming a major blockbuster that could provide a big boost for retail DVD sales nationwide this fall.
Notice the word COULD. Technically any movie that is released Could provide a big boost for retail sales. So really anyone releasing a new movie can make this claim. They are not stating a fact, needing actual proof, this is just an assumption, and a mighty presumptuous one at that. Vivid’s new Batman XXX is making this claim but it has already been released, so you have to assume they are looking at sales figures and not just making a claim out of their assholes! And what indications are they talking about? Pre-sales? But what else? It says EVERY indication, like there is more than one factor to consider. Again, a purely arrogant claim pulled from their ass.
What makes Not Charlie’s Angels XXX even more unique is that it comes from the same comedy team that has brought many of the best-selling adult parodies to fans worldwide including spoofs of The Brady Bunch, Married with Children, M*A*S*H, Bewitched, Monday Night Football, Airplane, Three’s Company and Britney Spears.
This whole paragraph did not make any sense. The movie is MORE UNIQUE…? What? I think they used the wrong word here. To be MORE unique you had to have been Unique in the first place. What made them unique? Gorgeous women (umm, don’t most porno’s have this)? But it never says, it just goes straight to the MORE unique claim.
“This is also the first action-adventure feature movie that I have directed and I loved every minute of it,” proclaimed Will Ryder, the 2010 AVN, XRCO, XCritic, CAVR and NightMoves director of the year.
Now see this is how it is done. They can claim what a great direct Will Ryder is, because they have “awards” to back it up. They didn’t just pull this claim out of thin air like people tend to do when promoting a pornstar.
Destined for numerous award nominations; Not Charlie’s Angels XXX is a fun, wild ride packed with twists, turns, great music and loads of fun. The 2-disc Collectors Set is packed with extras, bonus sex scenes from Madison Scott, Zeina Heart and Nicole Ray, extensive behind the scenes footage, cast commentary, director/producer travelogue and much more.
Okay, this paragraph just really cracks me up. ‘Destined for numerous awards‘…Feeling conceited much? How they hell do they know, except that it makes the movie sound better when advertising it. The rest of the paragraph is great, but I just can’t stop laughing every time I see the word “Destined”
This could be the most entertaining porn movie of the year. Check out the trailer here www.sitcums.com/Not Charlies Angel XXX.html
Okay, now I think they are starting to realize that maybe they aren’t fortune tellers after all. So instead of just blatantly claiming the DVD is the most entertaining of the year, they simply say it COULD be! Well, you could be a dumb mother fucker, too, couldn’t you? Not that I am saying you are, but you COULD be! So only time will tell if any or all of their claims in this highly inflated press release come true.