Tag Archives: Dez

I SPY SOMETHING WITH MY LITTLE EYE…SOMETHING THAT BEGINS WITH “C”

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IT’S CUM!

Hi Fayner,

This is Marco Pallotti, and I saw the item on the LukeFord website about Dez popping in girls’ eyes. I’m (obviously) not a porn chick, but over the years I hired Dez a bunch of times to schtup girls for my photo & video productions. As Alaura noted, Dez was notorious for hitting girls in the eye with cum, and did it many times on my set. I had a quick look on my hard drive for photographic evidence of this, and although I couldn’t locate any pink eye photos, I did find the attached photo of Brooke Milano from 2004, where she’s adopting a pose suggested by Dez after he’d just squacked all over her face. If you look closely, you’ll see that a line of cum has just missed Brooke’s right eye, and there’s another line pointing directly at her left eye–where there’s actually a couple drops of spoo on her eyelashes.

You’re welcome to post this photo on the website if you want. TTYL . . . .

Marco Pallotti

Fayner Says: I’m not sure I really wanted any response to the story about Dez always shooting cum in chick’s eyes, but I got one anyways. Sweet.

DID DEZ EVER POP IN YOUR EYE?

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Fayner Posts: Dez, Alaura and I were talking yesterday, and I happened to bring up how years ago Wanker Wang wanted to do a movie called “Pop Eye” where unsuspecting chicks “accidently” get an eyeful of jizz. The idea is to watch them squirm in pain as the cameraman tells them to hold still while semen fills their eye. I can imagine it hurts.

“Fuck yeah it hurts! Dez always used to do that to me in our scenes!” Alaura screamed. “And when he worked with other girls, they’d always complain to me afterwards about his unleashing into their eye!”

“That was my thing,” Dez added. “I don’t know, for some reason every load I blew went straight for the eye!”

“Maybe your sperm and the chick’s retina created some sort of magnet, where all the jizz makes a B-line for the eyeball?” I suggested.

“Maybe. You should write something about it and ask chicks to come forward who have ever taken one in the eye from me. I swear there must be hundreds of them…”

Okay, so I will. Any porn chicks taken an eyeful from Dez’s snake please come forward and describe your ordeal. Let us know at fayneralmighty@gmail.com

A TOTALLY SOBER DEZ TRIES RECRUITING FAYNER FOR THE GEEK SQUAD

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Fayner Posts: Not many people know this, but in Junior High I was given the "Peter Pan" award for my dedication to remaining young. Sure, it seems gay that I was pretty much still a boy at the time despite becoming a man within my Jewish faith, but I know look back at that award and think about how on the money whoever gave it to me was considering my fear of commitment, responsibility and becoming that old guy at the party struggling to keep up with the young kids and their hearty appetite for drugs and sex and mayhem, never realizing that part of life is growing up and ditching the trouble and providing a sweet future for your kids.

That’s not to say I haven’t curbed my consumption of cocaine in the last year, ’cause I have. And it bothers me. I believe blow acts as the Grendal to my Beowulf, the Itchy to my Scratchy, the Nazi to my Indiana Jones. I feel content snorting a few lines and battling my intellect by writing. It just feels right to me, as I’m sure it did to Sigmund Freud, Stephen King, Pope Leo XIII and Stevie Nicks.

You gotta be hooked on something, right?

So, here’s the deal: Dez and Staci (Alaura) are moving in with me into the house Keith and Taylor are kind enough to let me squat in. Both are sober. Both battle responsibility like adults.

The bad thing is, Dez is out to turn me into him.

1) He insists I start playing World of Warcraft with him 15 hours a day.

2) Dez is trying to get me to start working out daily and eating right.

3) Although he won’t say it, I know Dez is planning to halt my now once-a-week coke habit.

So one day I’m the guy you all know as the sniffling, coke-sweating freak who could die at any moment, and the next I’m a troll-trouncing gaming geek eating three square meals a day, pumping iron and never again tasting my sweet, sweet California Cornflakes again.

Is it fair? Let me know @ faynerpornbiz@hotmail.com