Fayner Posts: There is this awesome bagel place I go to in Woodland Hills. Yummy good stuff.
Anyway, I go there a lot, mostly cause I’m a Jew, and I struck up a relationship with the pimply-faced kid who works there so that I can get hooked up and be the cheap Jew TR always thinks I am anyway so why the fuck not right?
I went in this morning like always to get my bagel and tea, and the pimply-faced kid says to me “hey, are you an actor of any kind?”
“Not really,” I said. “Why?”
“Well, no reason really, except for…do you know a site called WhoreCraft ? “
“Ah, yeah.”
“There’s a character in one of the episodes who looks exactly like you.”
“That is me.”
“No fucking way! That is so cool! I love that site!”
“Yeah, it’s okay I guess.”
“Wait: do you now all those girls?”
“I do.”
“Oh, that is so awesome! Some of the chicks on that site are amazing!”
“Listen,” I said, “here’s a deal for you. You hook me up with free bagels and shit and I’ll bring in porn chicks for you to meet.”
“Really? Fuck, of course I’ll do that! Here, take some more bagels!”
“I love lox.”
The pimply-faced kid goes for the lox.
“No!” I shout. “Not the cheap lox! I want the good stuff!”
The kid gave me tons of free food. I left. Now I just gotta find some porn chicks who are willing to give up their time so that I can take them to a bagel store and get free shit for myself. Any takers?
The newest episode of WhoreCraft is up and can be found HERE