Fayner Posts: I’ve decided to not travel to Las Vegas this year for the porn convention. There are many, many reasons why I’m not going, but to make it easier on myself I’ll just say that it is because my vagina hurts.

But have no fear, I’ve alerted my peeps and they’ll all be on the lookout for drugged-out chicks, fights and silly happenings that always go on and will be reporting back to me here at the LukeFord Headquarters.

But as always, I’ve come to believe that the things I make up are so much better than what really goes on, so I’ll be conducting interviews from the convention floor with many of the smut sluts even though I won’t be there. How will I do this, you ask? Simple: by making it up.

Why not, right?

And I am truly sorry to all of my fans for not going to the show and reporting what I see and do (like I’ve done so many years now), I’m sure it must make you day reading about all the craziness I get myself in to. But at the moment going is just not the right thing for me to do.

It’s just that my vagina really, really hurts.

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