Fayner Posts: I was really truly hoping to make this year my Second Annual Don’t Go To Vegas For The Porno Convention, but while in Nantucket a few months back TR and Alaura told some of my friends that if they came to the convention we’d show them a good time. So now it looks like I have to make the trip. I figure that until I get there and get a drink in me I’ll be bitching about it, but once that drink hits my tongue I’ll be semi-happy that I made the trip.

But seriously, how many more of these can I possibly go to before I either kill myself, someone kills me or something stops my heart? I can just imagine what someone like Mark Davis must go through since I believe the guy has been to almost everyone since it started all them years ago.

But since I missed the last AVN convention, by choice, I’m aware of how much more difficult it will be to make it through unscathed. The cigarette smoke alone can kill a strong donkey. If anything, I’m a weak donkey.

I don’t know any of the talent these days. They just keep coming faster and faster into the biz, too fast for an old man like me to keep track of. And since I haven’t even tried to keep up with the new stable of talent (if you want to call it that), I feel like I’ll seem just like another sketchy scumbag to these young sluts instead of the important journalist we all know me to be.

There will be some people there who hate me. They’ll probably tell me what they think of me. I always enjoy that. There will also be fans of mine with nickel bags of cocaine who want to give me some. Hopefully I’ll say no thanks, but I can already smell the fucking shit and I can’t say for sure if my sobriety will hold. And even if I do fuck up and do a line or thirty I’m pretty sure I’ll hate it. Sweet.

I’m gonna fuck a new hottie this year. I’m thinking Nadia Styles, but I’ve yet to ask her. Nadia kind of falls hard for my charm so it shouldn’t be that hard to talk her into having sex with me. If you see her before I do, can you put in a good word for me????

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