Fayner Posts: Friday night I was itching to go out. I didn’t. Taylor and Alaura said they’d tag along with me Saturday night to Jeff Mullen’s Bradys XXX party at the Knitting Factory if I was still jonsing to get out.
By Saturday morning I wasn’t. Going to Hollywood is a big chore, not to mention that after years of attending porn parties the only things that change are the diseases and the box cover of whichever DVD is being promoted. Plus, I don’t know anyone anymore and no one knows me. I’ve come to accept HBO as my Saturday night destination these days, and for that I am a sad human being.
So, cool, I’m staying in on Saturday night. But wait, Alaura’s oldest friend is in town and her and Taylor are gonna go see her in Hollywood. Awesome! Have fun, girls!
Not so fast, Fayner.
Seems I had to go along with them. To keep them safe. It makes no sense at all if you know me. But Keith kidnapped my dogs, so I had no choice but to tag along.
Alaura said I was being fussy when they tried waking me up at 10 last night. I didn’t want to go. Taylor came in my room and handed me a vodka drink of some kind.
“Drink it up, bitch!” she hollered (420).
I did.
An hour later she was laughing about how she spiked my drink with MDMA. Sweet. We were at the Whisky Bar watching some guy in a half shirt drink wine. I was not pleased. Alaura’s friend was no where to be found, and the place was weak. So we went to the Knitting Factory for the Brady XXX party around 12:30.
These are the notes I wrote on a napkin
-Max Hardcore tells me that life couldn’t be better. After a pause he says, “except for the FED thing, that is.”
-Dean Sussman’s haircut keeps getting worse while he keeps getting nicer.
-The only porn chick I knew was Tricia Devereaux. I didn’t complain.
-Tom Byron was standing alone the whole time.
-Joel Laurence says he looks pretty good for 42 years old. I agreed. It could have been the 18 year old whore on his arm.
-Monstar was either hitting on the male bartender or ordering a drink. I wasn’t really paying attention.
-I saw Ann Marie outside and hid because I think she hates me and didn’t want to deal with it.
-Max Hardcore and his skank leave in the yellow Corvette with the top down. It’s like 45 degrees outside. She must be real dumb. Good for him.
-I’m too old for this shit