Fayner Posts: Copy cats, I think they’re called. One who imitates or adopts the behavior or practices of another, Webster’s says.

In an obvious take to the current situation in Sudan where a woman is being jailed for naming a teddy bear Mohammed, it seems former adult actress Ashley Blue is also being detained for recently referring to a bloody tampon she discovered on the ground as “cute little Kurt Lockwood.”

“Kurt Lockwood is a God amongst the porn folk, 10,000 times as much as that guy Mohammud (do I also go to jail for spelling “Mohammed” wrong?) is to the Muslims!” says the always awesome spokesman for all things Porn, Bill Margold. “No one will disrespect him, or his teachings! To name a used sanitary product after him is grounds for death! Porn is a God-fearing community, and we uphold the laws of God. It just happens our God is Kurt Lockwood! Ashley Blue will feel the sharp end of the stick on this one!”


Obviously, the above story is fake. Ashley Blue may have named a dirty tampon after Kurt Lockwood, but the rest is just the product of whatever rolls inside my head at the time. Anyways, Bill Margold wouldn’t even take my calls, that’s how important he is.

But this is so funny because I heard last night from someone either at AVN or somewhere else or I could have just made it up myself a second ago that Bill Margold is setting up a fund to help save the teddy bear from Sudan.

“Teddy Bears are our future,” Bill Margold would have said if this actually took place. “Just as the military’s motto is “leave no man behind” mine is “leave no teddy bear behind.” I’ve saved teddy bears from all over the world. Soviet Russia, Vietnam, you name it, I’ve been there saving teddy bears. I will not rest until each and every neglected teddy bear on earth is brought home to me and my loving arms!”

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