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Pornographer Larry Flynt Fined by FAA

Larry Flynt was not all smiles Sunday night. FAA inspectors removed the famous pornographer from his lear jet as it was about to take off from a small air strip outside Los Angeles, California, citing his repeated failure to comply with FAA Regulations regarding handicap ramps, a spokesman said.

“Mr. Flynt has had ample time to fulfill a certain violation,” the FAA’s spokesman, Robert Lee, announced. “He failed to do so on numerous occasions. We had no choice but to enforce the law.”

The violation?

Failing to maintain a handicap-accessible aircraft.

Sounds strange for a man unable to use his legs for the last 30 years.

But, like expected, the outspoken Flynt had a different take on the events of Sunday evening.

“Listen, I have eight hundred million dollars,” Flynt was heard saying as police escorted him off the tarmac and into a handicap-accessible van. “If I choose to not make my many jets handicap-accessible, then that’s my own damn business. I think the FAA is mad because I hire illegal immigrants to carry me up and down the stairs of the plane. This is America, and this is my right!”

Mr. Flynt was ordered to update his fleet of planes, and is unable to fly the American skies until he completes the repairs.

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