Michael Vick is a good man. Sort of like Jesus in a way. Only better.

Michael Vick has the gonads to do what all of wish we could do: fight innocent dogs for profit, then dispose of them when they become useless.

Admit it, when you see a cute puppy at the park or at a friend’s house your initial instinct is to beat it regularly and make it fight equally abused dogs for money.

And the best thing is that the killing of the dogs is just an added bonus to all the fun. Abuse followed by death? Now even Jesus can’t compete with that kind of awesomeness.

And now think of the overall good Michael Vick has done in the black community. I mean, talk about a positive role model! Because of the amazing things Michael Vick has done I believe that in five years we can all fight dogs for profit and then kill them with as much freedom as drinking a cold beer on the front porch after a long day nat the office.

I wish I was a young kid idolizing Michael Vick before this whole dog fighting miracle came about so I could say I loved the man before he became the most awesome guy to ever walk on this planet.

Sorry Jesus, but seriously, what have you done for me lately?

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