new haircut, influential friends in pink and popular drugs: is this enough to get laid?
Fayner Posts: Yesterday I was bragging about how Lisa Marie was coming over for movie night and I was sure to get laid. Shit, I even cancelled the blow being delivered so I’d be in peak form to ravish her fine backside.
I asked you to suggest some movies I could put on to guarantee me getting some. Here is what some of you thought.
1) Gotta go with a tried and true movie.
Can’t go wrong here, it’s a chick flick with
lesbians! Better bring a few condoms, 1 won’t be enough.
I decided to go with one of my favorites, Summer of Sam by Spike Lee. There is something so hot about Adrian Brody’s huge nostrils I just wanna bang him sooooo badly. (sorry). I couldnt find it, so I picked Philadelphia, but knowing Lisa’s tendecy to cry I went a little lighter on the sorrow and put in Mystic River.
Lisa wanted some wedd, booze and xanax. I understood. Fucking me must be an ugly task. So I joined her. Then she took another quarter bar and I matched her. Then I was too tired to do anything sexual.
So I took her home. She was pissed off royally cause her vagina didnt get penetrated. I promised the next time I’d lay off the xanax. I felt as though I let her down by not getting my dick hard, even though it remained erect for pretty much the three hours we hung out. Not bad for a druggie in his mid 30s, huh?
If I get another chance at movie night I’m popping in something either with Brad Pitt or Spinal Tap. If that doesn’t work, I’m turning gay.