new haircut, influential friends in pink and popular drugs: is this enough to get laid?

Fayner Posts: Yesterday I was bragging about how Lisa Marie was coming over for movie night and I was sure to get laid. Shit, I even cancelled the blow being delivered so I’d be in peak form to ravish her fine backside.

I asked you to suggest some movies I could put on to guarantee me getting some. Here is what some of you thought.

1) Gotta go with a tried and true movie.
Chasing Amy
Can’t go wrong here, it’s a chick flick with
lesbians!  Better bring a few condoms, 1 won’t be enough.

2) Watch Requiem For A Dream (excellent fuckin flick, loves it) and then make her re create the scene at the end…ASS TO ASS!


3) a. Crash (Not the Haggis one, but the one starring James Spader)


I decided to go with one of my favorites, Summer of Sam by Spike Lee. There is something so hot about Adrian Brody’s huge nostrils I just wanna bang him sooooo badly. (sorry). I couldnt find it, so I picked Philadelphia, but knowing Lisa’s tendecy to cry I went a little lighter on the sorrow and put in Mystic River.

Lisa wanted some wedd, booze and xanax. I understood. Fucking me must be an ugly task. So I joined her. Then she took another quarter bar and I matched her. Then I was too tired to do anything sexual.

So I took her home. She was pissed off royally cause her vagina didnt get penetrated. I promised the next time I’d lay off the xanax. I felt as though I let her down by not getting my dick hard, even though it remained erect for pretty much the three hours we hung out. Not bad for a druggie in his mid 30s, huh?

If I get another chance at movie night I’m popping in something either with Brad Pitt or Spinal Tap. If that doesn’t work, I’m turning gay. 

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