THREE’S A CROWD: ALAURA EDEN GETS BIT BY SPIDER, BOYFRIEND DEZ SWEARS TO FIND IT AND KICK ITS ASS!

Fayner Posts: Former goo gal Alaura Eden is allergic to spider bites. Like, really bad like.

So, on Saturday night when Alaura, TR and I were headed out to August’s birthday party and then the Britney Rears bash I noticed a little bandage on Alaura’s leg.

"What happened?" I asked, doing the "boo hoo" face.

"I got bit by a spider! I’m really allergic to them!"

"What a shame," I replied.

Then, moments later as I was attempting to touch her ass and no one was stopping me I realized Dez wasn’t with us.

"Where is Dez?" I finally asked.

"Oh, he’s really pissed that a spider bit me! Jealous, even! When I left the house he was running around with a golf club whispering "here spidey spidey" inside all the closets. I think he even called up all his muscle from O.C. to come and eliminate the spider."

"It’s best you left the house," I stated. "You don’t want to be around when Dez gets ahold of that spider. Once I saw him beat down an already dead mouse with a Sugar Daddy candy bar and I had nightmares for weeks."

"Oh, I know!" Alaura responded. "You should have seen when the mailman put mail labeled "Occupant" in our mailbox. Dez went at him with a spacula!"

 

At press time Dez has still not killed the spider.

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