Fayner Posts: I got a big date coming up with a mainstream actress who is quite hot. I’m super excited although I know I’ll be fucking it up somehow and won’t be getting none of that fine civilian booty.

Since a famous movie star can’t be seen carousing with the likes of me in public, I decided I would do some cooking at my house for this gal and needed some assistance.

This is where Trent Tesoro comes into the picture. Trent is a fabulous chef, one of the best I’ve ever tasted. So I went down to his apartment in Studio City to get some cook books and a few tips onto how I can make a sweet meal for this chick and get me some ass.

It was around midnight when I drove up to his place, and instantly I noticed a cop car outside. I thought nothing of it until I was told by one of the officers that I could not go into his apartment.

"Why not?" I asked.

"We’re dealing with a noise complaint and you’ll have to just wait until we can figure this whole thing out."

Apparently, from what I could gather while waiting in the shadows was that Trent decided he wanted to blast New Kids on the Block CDs late at night. Seems okay, right? Sure, why not. The problem was his neighbor had a daughter who in the 1980s was a huge NKOTB fan and committed suicide while listening to the same song Trent was playing. The woman flipped out on Trent and so the cops were called in to smooth things out.

At the end, Trent was let off with a warning to not play music late at night, especially NKOTB. He should have known that already.

I got my cookbook and left, ’cause New Kids on the Block sucked ass, suck ass and in the future will still be sucking ass.

Fucking Trent. What’s wrong with this guy?

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