Fayner Posts: Sunday from midnight until 7 am was rough. Here’s 7 things that happened to me during that time.
1) Robbye Bentley told me to fuck off.
2) I drove a porno chick around for an hour looking for her car that we never found. It was bad. We drove into three cul-de-sacs.
3) I saved a porno chick’s life when a speeding car nearly hit her. I didn’t have the heart to tell her I was just proteting my favorite sweatshirt that she was wearing.
4) Dez touched my penis through my jeans and I didn’t tell him to stop.
5) I passed out in the drive-thru of Jack In The Box while waiting for my food at 6:45 am.
6) I was told at Lisa Ann’s birthday party that the only chick who would fuck me usually only fucks black guys. This only bothered me because I was in no mood to have a dumb chick laugh at my small dick.
7) I tried jerking off, but was so fucked up I passed out with my boxers around my ankles before I could even start, something I’m sure every man has done.
With my birthday coming up in two weeks I decided I am finally getting too old for this shit…