Fayner Posts: Anyone who knows Nathan AKA Winston Burbank knows the kid is strange to say the very least.
He’s as cheap as Jesus was. He eats the same damn thing every meal. He vacuums in his sleep. He’s nice.
Surprised he’s still alive, aren’t you? Me, too. Especially in Los Angeles.
It was Valentine’s Day afternoon, and Winston stopped by to grab his stuff that he left when he moved out. There was a bunch of it. He took four Ultimate Fighting DVDs and left the rest for later. Something about two guys grabbing for each other’s balls and rolling around the ground all sweaty and touchy-feely gets young Winston all warm inside.
“Hey,” I shouted to him as he was packing them into his car. “Did you steal my belt again?”
“What the fuck?” I yelled. “Didn’t I just get the fucking thing back from you after months of you wearing it and making it into a homosexual belt?”
“Yeah,” Nathan admitted. “I went skating and needed it.”
“I thought all black people – and Asher – wear their pants around their ankles as a remembrance for Slavery?”
“We do,” Nathan said, “but not when we’re roller blading.”
“I guess you learn something new every day. Anyway, can I have it back now?”
“Can I give it to you tomorrow? I’m going to an 18-plus night at the roller rink tonight for Valentine’s Day.”
There’s like four porno chicks who want to get what Winston has in his pants. Badly. They leave him messages about it. They tell me to tell him they want his cock.
And what does Winston do about this??
He goes to an 18-plus night at a roller rink on Valentine’s Day, that’s what.
What’s the deal with Winston Burbank?
Send your guesses to firstname.lastname@example.org