TYLER DURDEN THROWS A PARTY THIS SATURDAY!

and guess what…

if you don’t know where it is, you ain’t fuckin’ invited!

4 bands, cold kegs and drunk porno chicks giving free handjobs galore!

Craven Moorehead’s sad tale about Velvet Revolver drummer Matt Sorum

Too cheap to grab a taxi, Matt Sorum stands on Sunset hoping someone will recognize him and give him a lift home

Fayner Posts: Matt Sorum, if you don’t remember, is the louse who once managed my old band, then following our demise admittedly stole the only song I’ve ever written, modified it a bit and used it to win a Grammy this year with his band Velvet Revolver. Obviously I harbor some ill-will towards him, and with that relish every chance to share tales which belittle his ego.

Craven tells me he was recently at the new Rock Bar or whatever they call it which is co-owned by Dave Navarro, Sorum and some others, that was also attended by Menopausal rocker Matt Sorum.

When the night ended, Matt was given a tab for the drinks consumed at his table full of people knocking back expensive booze for several hours. Craven says Matt was suddenly screaming and bitching to the waitress about his highly discounted bill which totaled around $500. Reaping millions as a hired gun for the Cult and Guns N Roses, and now with Velvet Revolver, Matt apparently felt he deserved to be treated better with a lower tab ’cause he is a rock star.

Bitch Bitch Bitch Bitch Bitch went Mr. Sorum. Craven says it was embarrassing to watch.

Sorum eventually paid the bill, pocket change to him really, but left the waitress a whopping tip of zero dollars and zero cents.

That’s right. No tip. As if the waitress was at fault, right?

Finally!

THE FAYNER VS LOCKWOOD

Cooking Clash Of The Brash Titans

THIS FRIDAY NIGHT

August 26th @ King King

6555 Hollywood Blvd

Fayner Posts: Winner of this cook-off has bragging rights galore, and I refuse to be second-fiddle to anyone, even a stud pony such as Kurt. With trash talking going back and forth and back and forth and back and forth for months now since Kurt’s white chocolate cheesecake was applauded in the French Bon Appetit, I issued a challenge claiming my Peach Slobbler a la Fayner would blow his out of the fucking water. Kurt accepted.

So this Friday night, as my former band reunites for the second and last time as opener for Kurt’s 2005 Rock n’ Porn Birthday Blowout! show, we will present our pastries for judging. I’ve been honing my skills all week and expect to win.

Also, while on the subject, I must say that Kurt’s last show on June 11th also celebrated Kurt’s birthday, as does the show this weekend. Apparently Kurt has two birthdays.