BDSM porn can help open the door to one of the most enticing, and poorly represented, sexual fetishes in modern practice. Just make sure you’re watching the right reel.
Eroticism represents a lifestyle, in which the participants’ physiological and philosophical relationship with their own pleasure is privileged. Something that is incredibly personal and at times can feel a bit isolating. The world of BDSM belongs to the category of eroticism because its practices are more closely linked to a relationship that derives pleasure from pushing boundaries, than one built on simple carnal desire. More than that, BDSM relationships take a huge amount of trust, as well as an undeniable need to be well-read and well versed on what the practices truly include, and how to best perform them. It’s not a sexual fetish that any willing participant can just jump into. You need to know what you’re doing, and your partner needs to be well equipped to engage in these activities with you.
BDSM plays with the concepts of pain, pleasure, trust, and control. All in a kind and caring way. Essentially, the genre is defined as an erotic act between a dominant party, who finds their own pleasure by controlling their partner; and a submissive party, the object of desire of the dominant and in turn, wishes to be controlled. This kind of relationship is reflected in spaces that transcend the sexual and press against the boundaries of our most intimate emotions, in which the aim is to stimulate fantasy through play.
Which may sound a bit overwhelming to anyone who doesn’t have much experience with BDSM– and frankly, it should. “BDSM is a practice, an art. Something that is performed by true professionals and loving, caring partners. BDSM porn is a really great way to expose a novice and sate some of their curiosity about the genre.” Say the curators of one of the web’s best streaming porn sites, PornDoe. “It’s important to remember that not all BDSM porn is created equally. Particularly what’s considered ‘mainstream’ BDSM porn. Things like 50 Shades are not an accurate representation of BDSM, and should never be used as a suitable allegory for what the genre really is about… But there is genuine, representative BDSM porn out there, that can be incredibly useful for the novice sub or dom.”
Understanding BDSM
BDSM, sometimes misinterpreted exclusively as sadism, is an acronym that refers to a series of alternative erotic practices that have been gaining important recognition in our society. The B stands for Bondage, D for Domination or Discipline, S for Sado or Submission, and finally M for Masochism. Understanding that each of these disciplines is an important thread in the tapestry of BDSM is a good first step in truly understanding the fetish.
For most BDSM novices, reading through the different kinds of sexual acts that can be involved in play can seem a bit overwhelming (and exciting) at first. But in BDSM, there is one word to rule them all, and perhaps the most important act of all, that can help quell any anxieties you might feel. That word is “consent”. If it is not conscious, consensual, sensible, and safe, it is not BDSM. The famous safety words, which stop any action in its tracks, are absolutely necessary. All BDSM practices must be consensual, otherwise, it becomes abuse. Once we are transported into the universe of BDSM– we enter into a space where discipline, safety, and consensus prevail. Allowing everyone involved to safely explore their deepest desires without judgment or risk.
Another incredibly important word and act within the community is “aftercare”. Aftercare refers to the period immediately following the BDSM activity, during which both partners attend to the physical, emotional, and psychological needs of the other party. It’s a way to help ground participants of a scene, after experiencing an emotional and sensory kaleidoscope, which can oftentimes create a life-altering release. Both physically and emotionally. Outside of the fetish community, people seem to ration kindness toward casual partners, often because they are afraid of developing feelings for them or sending the wrong signals. But, aftercare is about being a kind human being, and adheres strictly to the three fundamentals of BDSM: healthy, safe, and consensual. At all times, and in all things.
Safe Practice and Exploration Through BDSM Porn
There are numerous BDSM communities, where in addition to providing a safe space for members to discuss their practices, they can also provide a number of resources for online communities to find physical spaces. These communities seek to educate people so that they can develop their skills safely and explore their desires in an informative way; as well as learning how to protect themselves against sexual predators and combat the social stigma to which they are subjected. If you feel like joining one of these communities isn’t yet an appropriate choice for you, BDSM porn can offer many of the same benefits, without the direct interaction with the community. Something that many who are just BDSM curious, or just starting to explore their own fantasies, can dip into the genre without having to adhere to the lifestyle.
Finding the best BDSM porn to start your journey isn’t just about visiting the most popular sites, but by doing a bit of research about where you can find accurate representations of the acts being portrayed. Ensuring that the porn you choose to view coincides with the values of the community. As opposed to just being abused for shock value. While useful BDSM pornography is available, it’s important to be mindful not only about what the values of the community entail, but also be realistic about your own values, wants, needs, and boundaries.
Knowing and understanding the fundamentals of both your own desires and the values of the BDSM community, it becomes blatantly apparent– psychological work, trust, and safety that goes into scenes– what is truly representative of BDSM in pornography. So the more you learn about the community, the more you learn about yourself, the quicker you will be able to recognize real BDSM porn when you see it– and the more intimate your own experience can become.
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