Google in trouble? I don’t think so. How Cuil is that?

Most people know by now that Google is God.  They have the majority of all search engine traffic.  I think the last time someone reported it at like 66% of all search engine traffic goes through Google. That’s pretty damn impressive and say what you will be the truth of the matter is, no matter how much hype you throw at something, if a search engine doesn’t produce relevant results then people just aren’t going to keep using that search engine.

According to an article on CNN, an ex Google employee created a new search engine.  This one is called Cuil (pronounced Cool).  Long story short this person brags about how the last search engine technology they created Google purchased and used to revamp their own engine.  But this time they created something even better and it’s not for sale.  Instead they decided to launch a website to directly compete with their former bosses and how is that going?  Well there sure is a lot of media hype about it.  Hell it was even on my local news as a hot story of the night.  Surely with all that media attention this new search engine is going to give Google a run for their money, right?

Well, not so much because remember what I said early on?  RELEVANCY MATTERS and if a person can’t find what they are looking for, they will move on.  So let’s give this a little test.

First we searched for Briana Banks using Google.  The first few sites are really relevant.  The first is her official website, the second is Sexy Briana, this site says it’s the first ever Briana Banks fan site and they have been around for like 6 years.  In fact the site does offer quite a bit of unique Briana Banks content so that link is very relevant.  Briana Banks Wikipedia listing is in the top listings.  That’s also pretty relevant for the search terms.  All in all if a person was to use Google to search for Briana Banks I think they would be pretty happy with the results.

Now let’s use the new search engine to also search for Briana Banks and see what we can come up with.  First listing is for her official website.  That’s good.  Someone searching for Briana Banks should find her official website first off.  The next few listings however leave a lot to be desired.  The next listing claims to have

Briana Banks photos, photo gallery, pictures, picture …

only when you click on the link you get almost nothing to do with Briana Banks but you do get served a lot of ads including three pop ups.  The next listing takes us to a page with nothing whatsoever to do with Briana Banks.  She’s not even listed once on the page.  Ok the next link surely is going to be something to do with Briana Banks, right?  I mean after all the title of the page is

briana banks videos, briana banks downloads, briana

That’s right, not one fucking video, photo or even mention of Briana Banks when we clicked the link.  What the fuck is wrong with this search engine?  Is this brilliant person really to stupid to know that relevancy is all that matters.  Who the fuck cares if that have billions of web pages indexed if none of the search results are relevant.


All I learned from my time at the new Cuil search engine is that Google doesn’t have a god damn thing to worry about with these people.  And also with all that capital, some estimate they’ve raised more than $200 million, why the fuck couldn’t they have come up with a better domain name?  Just guessing but with the stupid site currently sitting at, I’m betting they are in the market to sell that domain name for the right price.   So why the fuck pick one like Cuil.  People will have a hard time remembering that name, I promise.   In the corse of writing this story I had to look it up 6 times just to make sure I got it right.

Cuil you suck balls, big nasty hairy ones!

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