DCypher posts: I swear that I did not make this up…lol. It just goes to show you that some people will FUCK ANYTHING!!!

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Bike Sex Lover Defended

By Jonty Skrufff

Scottish bike lover Robert Stewart could have avoided being placed on the sex offenders’ register for pleasuring his bicycle in an Ayr hotel, human rights lawyers suggested this week, if he’d refused to plead guilty and challenged his arrest on privacy grounds.

Cleaners at the hostel reportedly forced their way into Mr. Stewart’s room and found him naked from the waist down ‘moving his hips back and forth’, the Sun reported.

Mr. Stewart, reportedly smiled at the intruders, asked ‘“What is it, hen?” and carried on, said the Sun.

“He thought he was having fun with the cleaners,” Mr. Stewart’s solicitor later told the court, “He doesn’t think it’s funny any more.”

The same solicitor went on to describe his client as a ‘sad little man’ though human rights lawyer John Scott said the only reason he’d been placed on the sex offenders register was because he pleaded guilty to breach of the peace charges so judges were unable to consider privacy issues.

“This case should not prevent people who want to engage in this sort of activity from doing so,” Mr. Scott recommended, “What I would say to a client of mine that wanted to do this kind of thing is as long as it’s behind a bolted door, with an inanimate object, then each to their own.”

Guardian writer Matt Seaton was similarly sympathetic, arguing ‘aanyone who loves cycling is, to some extent, a bike fetishist.”

“The principle any self-respecting court ought surely to have been upholding here was that what passes between a person and their consenting bicycle behind closed doors is nobody’s business but their own,” he suggested.

“Robert Stewart’s misfortune was . . . to live in a place where being in their own bedroom apparently gives people no entitlement to privacy,” he added.

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