Fayner Posts: I’ve really gotten a kick out of all the people over the years thinking I’d be dead by now.

“What a crackhead! He’ll be dead by summer!”

“Anyone who does that much cocaine won’t make it past New Years!”

“I’ll bet my left nut he OD’s in Vegas this January!”

These are things I’ve heard people say, either on some web site or to my face. I never believed it. I always thought so many others were far worse off than I was (and I say “was” because I am now officially clean off blow).

And I won’t even try to remember all the times TR told me that when I die she’s gonna take my dear dog Rhiannon. Let’s just say it is a lot.

Maybe the only reason I am still alive is my dog Rhiannon. She’s been there throughout every little thing for the last ten years. That is a lot of cocaine rocks being licked off the floor, lots of old cheeseburgers being eaten when I had to buy coke instead of dog food, a lot of waiting around while I was out doing what I did and a lot of porno chicks coming and going throughout it all.

Anyway, we’re throwing Rhi a special birthday this Sunday with games, food and a pink pig pinita stuffed with doggie treats. Everyone in the industry is welcome as long as they too bring a dog.

There have been lots of porno chicks over the years who have fallen in love with Rhiannon, and she wants them all to come to the party. She specifically asked for Charlie Laine and August to attend ’cause she loves them a whole bunch.

And for anyone who wants me dead, now they know how do go about killing me: get to my dog. But I have another one now, too, and she’s big and mean, plus her other four siblings ain’t gonna just sit back and watch, so I’d suggest just letting it be unless you want part of your ass ripped off.

Email me at fayneralmighty@gmail.com for details.


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