Fayner Posts: I did this interview in late August in Ava’s room while sister Mia slept and their mother was visiting and doing laundry. I had a boner most of the time. I think Ava noticed but didn’t say anything.

Here is what was said after I realized the interview had been going on without the tape recorder turned on. I turned it on. This is what went down. Enjoy.


FAYNER Okay, tell me that story again about the booger.

AVA ROSE You have to tell the story first about your booger ’cause otherwise I’ll sound like an idiot just talking about a booger.

FAYNER Okay. I have a big hole through the middle of my nose from doing drugs and I always blow these huge golfball sized boogers into the toilet or shower. Good? Now tell your story.

AVA ROSE Okay, now I’ll tell you the story about my sister and a booger: We were at the McDonald’s drive-thru and Mia was like, "hand me a tissue!" I was like, "Why?" And she says, "I just blew half my brain out of my nose!" and there it was on her finger. It was huge!

FAYNER And then what happened?

AVA ROSE We ordered our food and left and forgot about the whole story until right now.

FAYNER Awesome! So, you wake up early, right? At what time does a cock enter your mouth? Noon?

AVA ROSE It’s a bummer ’cause I don’t get laid that much. Why do you think I don’t get laid?

FAYNER If I had to make a guess I’d say its because you smoke menthol cigarettes and people therefore think that you’re black. No, that was wrong of me to say. Plus, it made no sense.

AVA ROSE What’s wrong with you?

FAYNER Have you tried smoking those wide cigarettes?

AVA ROSE My sister loves those.

FAYNER Is that because she enjoys large cock?

AVA ROSE Yeah, Fayner, that’s the reason.

FAYNER As an Alaskan, have you ever had sex with an eskimo?

AVA ROSE Yeah, in an igloo one time.

FAYNER Are you telling me the truth?

AVA ROSE No, certainly not.

FAYNER Have you ever had sex with an igloo, I mean, IN an…

AVA ROSE Yeah, I’ve had sex with an igloo before!

FAYNER Fuck off.

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