Fayner Posts: Tyler called me earlier asking me to pick him up some sushi and bring it home ’cause he’s busy and won’t make it back to the area until late when most restaurants that don’t have drive-thru windows are already closed. I said I would ’cause I’m a super nice guy. So into the SUV I jumped with my co-pilots Rhiannon and Oldie. Away we go!

Five blocks later and I pull into the parking lot. I quickly run into the place, pay and leave. Back at my ride, and Oldie is in her usual spot while I’m away – the drivers seat…where I sit while driving. I was gone no more than four minutes.

"In the back!" I told Oldie, opening the door. The smell of feces hit my sensitive nostrils. I look down, and in my seat are pieces of an old dog’s shit like forgotten land mines in France’s countryside.

I’m not one to smack a dog, especially one who is as old as Oldie is. But I did. Hard, too. In the face. The valet was staring at me, probably didn’t like me taking a napkin and dropping the shit bombs in his office. I didn’t much care.

Oldie is now banned from riding in my SUV. It sucks ’cause it’s like the only thing that makes her happy. I don’t care. She’s just lucky her poop comes out hard and petrified, ’cause if it was wet and sloppy I’d right now be driving out to Glamis where TR found her to dump her in the desert to die.

I hope Tyler’s wearing shin-guards ’cause Oldie ain’t too happy with him right now and is planning to sink her four remaining teeth into him as soon as he walks through my door to get his food.

You can bet your bottom dollar I’ll be videotaping the whole thing for you to see soon on the only web site that writes about porno guys and dog shit…!

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