Fayner Posts: Saturday night at Barrett and Kirsten’s house warming party. My phone rang.

As my phone found itself being smashed into a car door like a month ago leaving  broken screen I was unable to see who was calling. But I picked it up anyways.

"Hello?" i said.

"Hey, it’s me. I just wanted to thank you."

"Who is this?" I asked.

"It’s [name deleted] (Tawny Robert’s real name). Thanks so much, Brett."

"This isn’t Brett, it’s Fayner."

"Fayner? Oh God."

And she hung up. A minute later she called back.

"Fayner, I love you so much!" she screamed.

"Okay. I love you too, I guess.

"No seriously, Brett. I love you!"

"Thank you, and this isn’t Brett, it’s Fayner. Remember when I told you that like ten seconds ago?"

"Listen, Brett, come on over."

"Why, what are you doing?"

"Not much, I’m just sitting out on the balcony fucking a dog."

"You’re what????"

"I’m on the balcony fucking a dog."

"You’re on the bacony fucking a dog?" I asked.

"What!!!" Tawny screamed. "How dare you say that about me!!!!"

"You just said it to me and I repeated it!"

"Fuck you, Brett!"

And this time I hung up. Later I talked to someone who also got a call from Tawny, and although not about fucking a dog he said his conversation was equally as disturbing. If I could see the screen on my phone I would call her and get to the bottom of our conversation nbut I can’t so I won’t.

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