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Fayner Posts: I’m so sad today because here I was thinking AVN was better than me on every level.
I mean, their superior articles flow like wine from a jug made of gold. I sit and read them and wish I could be them.
But not today.
Really, it’s no big deal in the grand scheme of things. I just have a thing about finding mistakes and pointing them out.
The article in today’s AVN.com about Jenna Haze returning to boy/girl scenes titled Haze Back In Action for Jules Jordan Video written by Heidi Joy Pike
has a sentence that makes no sense at all, even to someone like me who’s been awake for quite some time. Here is what Heidi wrote in the third paragraph…
The DVD features the first new boy/girl scenes with Haze in over four years, along with her first interracial scene, she couldn’t be prouder.
Was I absent from English class when the teacher went through this?
Here’s how I would write the same sentence, but correctly.
The DVD features the first new boy/girl scenes with Haze in over four years – along with her maiden voyage into on-screen interracial sex – and she couldn’t be prouder.
See what I did? I used dashes to smooth it out a bit and make it clearer for the reader, removed the repeated words (“first” and “scene”) to show I’m not lazy and added the word “and” before “she couldn’t be prouder” so that it becomes a complete sentence.
Complete sentences are good.
This is just a joke, okay?
And I’m sure I too made errors with my revision, so don’t bother telling me about it.