MISS HOWARD STERN ON DRUGS??? WE MEAN DRUGS!!!

Fayner Posts: This happened a few weeks ago actually, maybe two, but all I know is that I remember it like it was two weeks ago yesterday.

I was gonna title this article “MISS HOWARD STERN CALLS TMFR FOR COCAINE AT SIX FIFTEEN IN THE MORNING…WHICH IN TURN BECOMES TMFR CALLING FAYNER FOR COCAINE AT SIX FIFTEEN IN THE MORNING…WHICH IN TURN BECOMES FAYNER HANGING UP ON TMFR AT SIX FIFTEEN IN THE MORNING” but I felt that was giving too much away in the headline and that is a journalistic no-no. Never give away too much, they say at Journalism school. Well, at the good Journalism schools they do…

So Taylor Rain calls me up super early. I was expecting a call from my probation officer so I picked up the ringing telephone.

“Dawg!” TMFR shouted, “I’m on the way to go snowboarding, dawg, and Miss Howard Stern just called me up from the Standard on Sunset all coked-up looking for an eightball! Do you wanna go get one and bring it to her? She said she’ll pay three hundred bucks! I bet I can get her up to four, maybe even five hundred! She did sound desperate; so desperate even that she’d probably blow you for it!”

“No thanks,” I replied half-asleep. “If she says one word with that shitty voice of hers I swear I’ll kill myself.”

“You sure?” TMFR asked.

I hung up.

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