BRIANA TAKES SOME TIME TO MINGLE WITH THE COMMON FOLK
Fayner Posts: It all began as a joke. I was calling Briana to do a scheduled interview as I’m psyched to see how great she looks and how much more pleasant she’s become now that she’s free from a seven year relationship with Bobby Vitale and a grave crack habit, and I found myself like always leaving the popular Vivid Girl yet another voice message pleading my case.
For some reason I was feeling a bit playful, and when it came time to record my message I opted to try being angry instead of my normal sweet self in hopes of getting her to call me back.
"Listen," I said, "you blew me off today. What happened to noon? I guess all the stories are true about you being a bitchy diva Prima Donna egotistical whore that shows up whenever you want, skips out on planned interviews and goes around thinking you’re the god-damned Cat’s Meow! Little do you know that you ain’t all that! Call me if you get some time away from your pedestal which sits high above us the rest of us, okay?"
Briana called back a little bit later. My plan worked.
"What the fuck?" she yelled. "I’m not a Prima Donna! I’m humble and caring and punctually proficient!"
I didn’t have to explain myself ’cause Briana knew it was all a joke. We set up another meeting for the next day to conduct the interview she guarantees will be chalk-full of scandal regarding her former boyfriend and the crack addiction that controlled her for many years.
"I promise I’ll call you at noon tomorrow, okay? If I don’t you can write about how I’m such an arrogant bitch who blows off interviews ’cause I can’t stop looking at myself in the mirror."
I assume it is obvious that Briana never called me.
Despite feeling emotionally abused I still love Briana to death. She’s is the farthest thing from a bitch I’ve ever met while working in this business and I hope that never changes…