(From Marksfriggin.com): Howard said that Ozzy is in town to be inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame… which he once called completely irrelevant. Howard said that both Ozzy and Sharon are looking great. Ozzy said he’d like to start with the ”top shelf” in the studio. He was referring to the bar they have in there. He was just kidding and he’s not going to be drinking. Howard talked to Sharon about how good she’s looking. She said that she had about $200,000 worth of work done. She had her eyes lasered because she hates the way they look when they’re cut. She said that they took some fat from her stomach and put it in her face in strategic areas. Howard told her that she really looks pretty with the surgery.

Howard said that Ozzy was so not hot when he first met her. Ozzy has stuck with her since then and now she looks great. Howard asked Ozzy if that was when he was cheating on her the most, when she wasn’t that good looking. Ozzy was saying that he would regret it each time he was with another woman back then. He was also talking about how he’s back on some anti-depressants and he’s unable to get it up for anyone now.

Sharon is also on some anti-depressants because she’s depressed about all of the things she doesn’t have. Howard told Sharon that he’d do her in a flash if he could. He said he’d give it to her hard too.

Howard asked Ozzy about what he said about the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in the past. Ozzy said he really doesn’t have the right to say that because there are 3 other members of Black Sabbath so he’s doing it for them. He’s not going to perform at the induction though. The rest of the band don’t want to perform according to Ozzy. Sharon said that Tony doesn’t want to do it, that’s the problem.

Ozzy was saying that he can’t drink these days and he can’t even screw so it’s basically over for him. He said he’s still writing songs though. Sharon said he can still do that stuff so it’s not completely over. Howard said he heard that Sharon had her breasts up to a 34-DD at one time but she just had them reduced. Howard thought that Ozzy loved them and asked Sharon why she reduced them. Sharon said that she found it hard to find clothes to fit her. She said she took them down to a 34-B! Howard sounded shocked by that.

Howard asked Sharon to show him her breasts. Sharon said that her son would disown her if she did something like that. Howard asked how Jack is doing and if he’s still living at home. Jack and Kelly are both skinny now and not living at home. They said that Jack owns four homes of his own now. Kelly owns 2 houses. Sharon said that Jack rents out some of his homes, they’re investments to him. She said that he’s been clean and sober for 3 years now.

Howard asked Ozzy if he gets pissed that Jack is banging Kate Moss because he never wrote a hit song of his own. Sharon was telling Howard that Jack gets into his Aston Martin and drives his model girlfriend up to one of his four houses so he’s doing just fine. Sharon said that Kelly is doing 2 TV shows over in the UK now so she’s doing very well also.

Howard read that Johnny Depp and Colin Farrel are both trying to get a role playing the part of Ozzy in a movie about his life. Sharon and Ozzy talked about how big Colin’s dick is in the home sex tape that’s floating around the web. She was saying that Ozzy’s dick is like a donkey’s as well so that’s who should play the part.

Howard asked Ozzy if he’s gotten things together financially because they had issues in the past. Sharon told Howard that she earns her own money but Howard said that Ozzy is the big money earner in the family. Sharon said that she earned $10 million of her own money last year. Howard asked her what that was based on. She said that she may have spent about $15 million last year though.

Sharon wrote a book about her life and Ozzy hasn’t read it yet. In the book she claims that Ozzy drugged her. She said he put pot in her stew one time. Howard asked Ozzy what that was all about. Ozzy said that someone else did that and he had nothing to do with drugging her. He said he loved the stew himself but Sharon hated it because she was trying to get off of drugs. She said it was the worst experience of her life.

Howard said that he would find it hard to stay married to someone if she wrote something about him that wasn’t true. Sharon asked Howard to stop because she was going to get Ozzy all wound up. Howard said that Ozzy is upset and she should apologize. He read another part of her book where she claims that Ozzy tried to kill her. Ozzy said he was all drugged up back then and he doesn’t even remember doing it. Howard read the excerpt from the book and it sounded pretty funny actually. Ozzy came to her one night and said to her ”We have come to a decision…” and Sharon said ”Yeah” kind of sarcastically. Then Ozzy says to her ”We’ve decided that you must die.” Sharon called the cops and they came down and arrested him. He was so high that he didn’t remember doing anything like that.

Howard said that it’s good to see Ozzy in a good mood even if he’s on drugs to keep him happy. He remembers the days when he would get really pissed at the midget he used to bring on tour with him. Ozzy said that guy is dead now. He apparently killed himself. Ozzy once threw him in the baggage compartment of the tour bus. Sharon said they used to make him climb up to the top bunk in the tour bus as well because he had to climb all the way up there.

Richard Christy came in and said that Sharon is the best advertisement for plastic surgery because she looks like a young Carmen Electra now. He also asked Sharon about a fight they were having with the guys from Iron Maiden. She told a story about how Bruce Dickinson bad mouthing Ozzy while they were on tour together and how she got back at them by having a bunch of people throwing eggs and peanut butter at the band after they bad mouthed Ozzy.

Ozzy said he told Sharon not to put them on the tour because he knew that they were trouble. No one would listen to him though. Sharon said that she met a lot of Hispanic people when she was in the hospital for cancer. She ended up calling those people to help her out with the egg throwing at the concert. That’s how she worked that out. She said that the band continued to perform even while they had egg shell on their faces.

Howard said that the new Ozzfest tour starts this summer and you can find out more about that at OzzFest.com. He took some phone calls and one guy said that these two are the best guests ever. One guy asked what ever happened to the battle Sharon was having with Insane Clown Posse. Sharon said she never thinks about those guys anymore.

Captain Janks called in and asked Sharon if she ever let Randy Rhodes get a little mud on the helmet. Sharon didn’t want to talk about that and asked Howard if he wanted to talk about all of the guys she’s banged. Howard said that she banged Jay Leno. That led to them talking about the relationship she had with Leno many years ago. Sharon didn’t know what Janks was referring to with the mud on the helmet thing. She just laughed when Howard told her what he meant.

Sharon and Ozzy were arguing about the days when Sharon was with Randy Rhodes. Ozzy claims he was divorced at the time but Sharon said that he was banging the ex-wife back then. He kept saying ”No, no, no, no… ” when she’d mention that. They spent a few minutes on that. Sharon was telling Howard that Ozzy cheated on her all the time. She said that Ozzy even did a chick that Lemmy had done one time.

Howard asked Sharon and Ozzy if they would ever do another season of The Osbournes for MTV. Sharon said that they lost all of the money they got for that show because they were sued and had to settle because of the cost of legal fees. She said that some guys claimed that they were the creators of the show and they ended up settling. Sharon said that they lost every bit they made because of that.

Howard asked Sharon if she’s going to do any of the guys in the band when they go to this Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction. She said that there’s a better chance of her going down on Mother Theresa. Howard said that Ozzy doesn’t want to be at that event and asked him why he’s going. Howard figured it was because of Sharon. Ozzy said he’s going there to support the rest of Black Sabbath.

(From Blabbermouth): Ozzy Osbourne and his wife/manager Sharon made an appearance on "The Howard Stern Show" on Sirius Satellite Radio on Friday, March 10. The following is a recap of their appearance on the show, as posted on Howard’s official web site, HowardStern.com:

"When Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne came into the studio, Howard commented that Sharon looked better than ever to him. Sharon responded that she recently spent $200,000 on plastic surgery and that part of her procedure involved doctors taking fat from her stomach and injecting it into the lines around her eyes. Sharon went on to mention that, like a getting a new car, she spaces out her time under the knife to about once every three years. This led Howard to again compliment Sharon on her looks, before admitting that, when he first met her, she was far less attractive than she is now. Howard then pointed out that he has always respected Ozzy because of his commitment to Sharon, even when she wasn’t at her most attractive physically. Ozzy replied that he’s been attracted to Sharon since being introduced to her, but that they rarely have sex anymore because of his inability to get an erection, a condition, he said, that has been caused by his dependence on antidepressants.

"Howard recalled that Ozzy, who was in New York to be inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame as a member of BLACK SABBATH, once called the supposed honor ‘totally irrelevant.’ Ozzy replied that his beliefs about The Hall haven’t changed, but that he didn’t want to spoil the occasion for his former band mates by not showing up. Ozzy added, though, that none of the members of BLACK SABBATH wants to perform at the event, so METALLICA, who will be inducting the band, will play two of their songs instead.

"When Howard found out that Sharon had her breasts reduced from an enhanced size 34D to a size 34B, he asked if he could see them. However, Sharon told Howard that her son, Jack, would disown her if she flashed him. Sharon went on to say that both Jack and his sister, Kelly, have slimmed down and are out on their own. Although Sharon wouldn’t confirm that Jack is dating Kate Moss, she did mention that Kate has been given a bad rap for behavior in which all super models engage.

"Since Ozzy is about to embark on another tour this summer as a part of Ozzfest, Howard asked if he was doing it because the family needs money. Sharon insisted to Howard that she and Ozzy are doing well financially and that an autobiography she wrote brought in $10 million last year alone. Since Sharon mentioned her book, Howard wondered if one its stories — namely, the time Sharon claimed Ozzy drugged her food — actually happened. Sharon said it did and recalled that Ozzy put pot in a stew he had prepared for her while they were dating. However, Ozzy claimed that the drug in question was actually acid and that two of his friends were the ones responsible for the incident. Howard then asked Ozzy about Sharon’s accusation that he once tried to kill her. Ozzy responded that, in one of his less-than-sober states, he got into an argument with Sharon before blacking out and waking up in a jail cell. Ozzy added that once he found out why he had been locked up, the reality of how bad his substance-abuse problem had become really sunk in.

"Richard Christy [ex-ICED EARTH/DEATH drummer and current ‘The Howard Stern Show’ employee] came into the studio and brought up the battle Sharon had with Bruce Dickinson of IRON MAIDEN. Sharon explained that she personally asked Bruce and his band to join the last Ozzfest tour and, despite the fact that IRON MAIDEN was being paid $185,000 per show, Bruce, out of what she called jealousy, badmouthed Ozzy on stage every night. Because of this, Sharon reported that she hired 200 ‘Hispanic kids,” some of whom had worked at the hospital where she recovered from her bout with cancer, to throw eggs at Bruce during the final night of the tour. Sharon noted that the plan went off without a hitch and that Bruce had a difficult time looking serious onstage that show because of the ‘eggshells in his mouth.’