TWO THINGS THAT MAKE ME LAUGH
by scott alexander fayner
1) You know in the movie Better Off Dead from back in 1985 with John Cusack? Yeah, it was a good one. Well it was on last night and I made Taylor watch the part where the hamburger comes to life and starts playing an Eddie Van Halen guitar and singing along to "Everybody Wants Some!" She didn’t get it. I explained that when I was a kid I saw the movie like 50 times just because of that scene. A lot of VH fans did.
But it made me laugh seeing it all these years later as an adult.
2) There is a rule in the house I live in which I made and follow 100%. Whenever a hard-boiled egg is eaten, the shell must be cracked on Bandit’s skull beforehand. Not a hard knock, but a little tap on his head is all it takes. Otherwise, he doesn’t get any of it.
Taylor knew that I lived by this rule, and snuck in a raw egg into the bowl of hard-boiled ones. Then she waited. And waited.
A whole day later I cracked a raw egg off Bandit’s skull. It was a mess.
Now Bandit is afraid of eggs.
"Look what you did!" Taylor yelled at me. "Now my pit bull is afraid of fucking eggs!"
That too makes me laugh.