LAWYER’S ADVICE FOR A HOT PORN CHICK!!!

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TAYLOR RAIN WRITES:

Being a popular retired star really helps when you need lawyer advice. I’m very lucky to be a hot porn chick!!!!

I PRAY TO GOD EVERYDAY!!! I’M SO FULL OF MYSELF I KNOW AND I DON’T CARE THIS IS MY WEBSITE AND I DO WHAT I WANT!!!!!!!!!!

 
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Here are some advice Ive gotten from some of my fans regarding crackhead Brett – you remember? the cracked out skronny queer drugdealer/addict who is such a lowlife that is so desperate for money he tries to extort money from me cuz he knows i got plenty and when he doesn’t get it he actually sells MY shit… ya, that scumbag pussyboy Brett, such a fucking coward that he texts me with threats all day and night, but when he gets conftonted by my man he crawls into a ball like the scumbag fag he is!!!! All I can say is this… JUST SAY NO TO HARD DRUGS, what the fuck was I thinking dating this piece of shit? Man was I in a haze and daze, now that the fog has cleared I can’t believe I dated the smelly crackwhore! 

Lawyer#1: One of my partners is a lawyer…gimmie a call or email me your number and I’ll see what I can do…and since he is my partner, he’s cool with porn peeps.ya know? Tim

Lawyer#2: Hey Taylor!  First of all, love your work. Although I am just a poor law student still learning to take candy from babies, I can safely say that you can get your property back, or at least get him to reimburse you for the value if it has been sold. At least, I believe you can based on the facts you provided on Lukeford. Of course you will need to hire a REAL lawyer to do the deed.  So, my two cents worth is this: Go and speak with an attorney as soon as possible.  The longer you allow this guy to abscond with your property, the harder it will be to get any satisfaction. If you need for a fan to do a little more research before you visit with the attorney, drop me a line with the details and I will do whatever I can.   Michael

Lawyer#3: I have admittedly been entertained by yours and Scott’s adventures over the years, and if there is something I can do to help you out I would be more than happy to oblige.  Trouble is, from the description on lf.com your ex probably doesn’t have much to sue for.  Crackhead dealers don’t tend to have a lot of savings or other assets worth suing for.  Reporting him to the cops might eventually result in something, but they are notoriously slow.  Plus if they think its some sort of domestic dispute they probably won’t get involved.  If you want a scary threatening letter, I’d be happy to write one for you, or if want to pursue other avenues which although ultimately fruitless would at least cause him headaches let me know.  Otherwise, keep my contact info handy, you never know when you may need an attorney (although after today I suspect you probably have about 1000 to pick from)….. Geoffrey

Lawyer#4: Hi Taylor, I’m a lawyer in NYC, and I work with federal cases on appeal.  That said, you would be better off speaking to a California lawyer who has experience with your type of situation.  I just wanted to give you my opinion in case no other better-qualified lawyer contacts you. 

If he’s taking your things and selling them, it would almost definitely be considered some form of theft.  The only defense I could imagine him having is that he thought that you had abandoned your belongings.  Whether or not you had abandoned your belongings will depend on a number of factors, such as:  (1) how long he has had your things, (2) whether or not you demanded that they be returned, and (3) how often you made those demands.
From reading your site, it doesn’t seem like your a big fan of the police, but calling them and complaining may be your most effective way of getting your things back.  I’m not sure how it works in your county, but I know that in some other counties, if the police don’t want to get involved, a victim is able to file a private complaint through the district attorney’s office. 
My profession can be a pain, so just to cover myself I have to tell you:  I AM NOT YOUR LAWYER.  I’M NOT REPRESENTING YOU IN YOUR CLAIM IN ANY WAY.  I’m just giving my opinion about the situation you wrote about on your site (which I find very entertaining). Mike

 

Lawyer#5: Hi Taylor: Remember Pete from the beach????  I saw your shout out for a friend? who needed legal advice re getting some purloined property back….Perhaps I can help….Please describe the situation more thoroughly and I’ll try to point you in the right direction. May take a couple of days or so as I’m buried in work…..Although if nice out tomorrow,will try to get to the beach….

I thought your 4/15 posting was funny….Fayner is crazed!!!  Hope the doggies are well…Arf arf!!!!! Aloha, Attny Pete. 

FANS COMMENTS:

Fan#1: it’s funy you call tiffany holiday a hooker/coke whore.  Yes she is dating your ex-boyfriend/pimp.  Simple deduction means that you were being pimped out by the same guy as well.  Just because you moved onto a fatter pimp doesn’t mean you are less of a whore. David – mypornoreview

Fan#2: Hey Taylor.. About your EX. He’s probably just selling your shit on ebay, because he hates your guts. I can relate to that. Every whack statement you put on your site seems to apply to me. I’m not a lawyer, but if you want to get back at him, I suggest you do the following:

1. Go up and knock on his door.
2. Emphasize that you’re really pissed off at him for selling your shit on ebay.
3. Try simmering it down by:
a) Asking how his love life is going with Tiffany
b) Talking about your two dogs.
c) Saying that everything is going fine with your love life.
4. Then tell him that you would like him to show in a porno flick that you or someone else is starring in.
5. And that you need shaved balls to star in it.
6. Force him to put hair removal spray on his balls.
7. Turn around and walk away.

I know someone who tried hair removal spray on their balls. It doesn’t work, and gets really, really itchy! So you can say that it wasn’t a ploy, and he can’t star in the porn flick, because all the guy’s balls got itchy. I give this a 99% chance of working.. so try it out !?!

Jonathan

Fan#3: This is *** from *******. We met the one time we shot at your house when ************* was the director. I wanted to say I could help you here, but keep it between us. Last thing I need people to know is I know people in law and get free counseling. If you still need the help, please feel free to call me.. Fayner knows me, so if that is a good lil reference, you can be assured I am not some jerk off hoping for something for free. I just hate to hear the shit you wrote about… Let me know if you need some help..

_________________

P.S. ANYONE ELSE WANTS TO HELP A HOT PORN CHICK E-MAIL ME @ taylor@clubtaylorrain.com! Also, Thank you for all the responses.

TMFR
OWNER, WRITER AND EDITOR

 

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