As a fan of pornography, you might sometimes be overwhelmed by the sheer volume of masturbatory options you’ve got on the web. Sure, RedTube always has the hookup on thousands of free, high-quality porn videos, but there’s a whole world of smut out there. With premium paysites and free porn tubes popping up all over the net all the time, in every perverted category imaginable, it can sometimes be hard deciding where to aim your erection. RottenTomatoes might make your Netflix choices a little easier, but with sex flicks you need a certified expert on the many subgenres of hardcore pornography. Enter The Porn Dude.
Since 2013, The Porn Dude has been the web’s #1 professional porn reviewer in the business. This devoted deviate spends his days and nights strapped into his masturbation chair, allegedly snorting Viagra while test-driving every reality porn network, Japanese Adult Video forum, and anal sex tube. There’s very little The Porn Dude won’t ogle while he’s polishing the pole. If it’s legal, it’s fair game, and you’ll find it on ThePornDude.com. From live webcam sex shows to porn video games, erotic stories to virtual reality fuckfests that drop you right into the action, he’s seen it all and written up his experiences. He’s even got extensive reviews of the best hentai, deepfakes, vintage porn and the kinkiest list of fetish sites you’ve ever seen outside of your dad’s nightstand.
ThePornDude is a porno fan, just like all you RedTube pumpers. The only difference is he’s turned his obsession with teen deflowerings, Latina orgies and taboo blowjobs into a thriving directory of the best fuck flicks and amateur galleries on the web. This is apparently what happens when a compulsive masturbator has a bit of an obsession, plenty of lube, and a lot of time to kill. His website is the result of frustration with Google’s pitiful porn results, followed by years of hard work, blisters, and intense forearm workouts.
“I’m just a regular pervert like everyone else,” The Porn Dude tells us. “I wake up the morning, make a pot of coffee, and put a few gallons of diesel in my industrial suction machine, just like the next guy. I started the website so my fellow perverts wouldn’t have to suffer the indignity of cranking it to a horny local singles ad out of sheer frustration.”
Since ThePornDude.com’s inception, scores of imitators have flooded the Internet, trying to do what he does and failing. We asked the man himself why he thinks readers and masturbators still flock to his reviews when they’ve got other options these days. The Porn Dude says it’s no real mystery.
“My reviews are real,” he says. “That’s the biggest fucking thing. I’m out here ruining my eyesight, growing thick coats of hair on my palms, and really pissing off my neighbors with all the banging and yelling. You can tell when you read my reviews; I’m really stroking off to these websites, or at least trying. Plus, I’m rude and funny as hell. Nobody wants to read porn reviews by some keyword-stuffing soccer mom who doesn’t actually like watching hardcore anal fisting movies. She’ll give bad recommendations, anyway. My site has useful information AND personality.”
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