‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a vibrator was vibrating, not one to arouse;
The masturbation socks were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that someone would show up in nothing but their underwear.
… Alright, I’m sure no one came here for my poor rendition of a holiday poem, so let’s get to the good stuff. Get your hot cocoa ready and your hands a moisturized. It’s time for another festive holiday fap. Here are some of our favorite XXXmas classics.