WINSTON BURBANK WINS THE LOTTERY!!!!!

Fayner Posts: This is God-damned exciting. It’s not every day I get to say that I know a lottery winner. I only know one other lottery winner, but his dog has a rash on it’s ass and I don’t know what to think of that.

Winston Burbank is the cheapest man on Earth. A 12-year-old orphan from Somalia spends more money than him. He admits that when he’s called for a job he instantly envisions himself putting the money in his bank account. When he heard about Keith spending $100 on steaks the other night he started dry-heaving.

I hope this has shown you how cheap Winston is.

Now is Taylor’s turn…

TMFR Posts:

Winston comes home and comes upstairs to our room and asks me for a bowl and gives me the excuse I’ve been on set all day with NO WEED!!!!I say, "Bullshit everyone smokes weed if they are on a porn set all day long!!!!"

Anyways, Keith was trying to find a USB cable for my camera and also finding a cord to my hp printer! He was going through a bunch of random boxes with wires and a bunch shit was all over the place. Then he pulls out this bose system box with a bunch of coins in it!!!

TR: BABY WHAT IS THAT????

KEITH: It’s a bunch of coins!!!! Here’s a freezer bag full of quarters too!!!

NATE: SWEET!!!

TR: SWEET! Let’s go to Vegas and use them in the slot machines!!!!

KEITH: BABY YOU KNOW WE ONLY TAKE THE BENJAMINS TO VEGAS!!! Here Nate take this shit!!!

NATE: REALLY???

KEITH: YA, AND TAKE THIS BAG FULL OF QUARTERS TOO. THERE’S PROABLY 300.00 JUST IN THIS BAG!!!

TR: NATE ARE THINKING ABOUT TAKING THAT TO COINSTAR RIGHT NOW EVENTHOUGH YOU JUST GOT OFF OF WORK???

NATE: YA BUT I HAD A FEW BEERS!! CAN YOU DRIVE ME???

TR: I GET HALF!!!!J/K

NATE: FUCK THAT I WILL GO TOMORROW!!!

TR: YOU SERIOUSLY SHOULD OF BEEN A JEW!!! TELL ME HOW MUCH YOU GET WHEN YOU CASH IN YOUR LUCKY WINNINGS FUCKER!!!

Nate was one LUCKY FUCKER  last night!!!!

Also, since Keith was giving shit away last night. I gave Kelly Erikson my old 60gig I pod and some new ear phones. Also, a brand new bose system that you plug into the I pod. We have four of them and two of them were just sittin in their boxes!!! FUCK IT!!!

TMFR AND SNOT FACE (Fayner)

OWNER, WRITER, AND EDITOR

WHAT ABOUT TAWNY?

Fayner Posts: I see on Luke’s site a story about former Vivid and Digital Playground star Devon signing a contract with some new company called Black Kat.

“What I like about her is that she’s very real and she’s extremely open to ideas and suggestions,” said C.J. Foothill, Black Kat owner.

One must ask if the company made a mistake and instead signed Devan of http://www.dv8cultx.com/ who is both real and is smart enough to be open to ideas and suggestions. Devon the porno chick is covered in plastic surgery and wouldn’t know a good idea if it was surgically planted into her brain.

This move makes one wonder of Devon’s new partnership with Tawny Roberts? Tawny most have been really fucked up if it scared away Devon.

ARE PORNO CHICKS (EVEN EX-PORN CHICKS) FLAKES?: A CONTEST

Fayner Posts: At this time I’m writing this sentence it’s now exactly 9:30 in the morning. I’ve been IMing with Taylor Rain about Nathan winning the lottery last night (story coming this afternoon) and I decided I’m quite hungry. I suggested she come over and I’ll make french toast. She agreed, said “IM GETTIN IN THE SHOWER RIGHT NOW” and 10:30 I WILL BE THERE” to which I repliedI’ve heard that before” to which she replied “WHATEVER”.

This is the same Taylor Rain who once borrowed my SUV with the promise she’d have it back in exactly one hour. As if you didn’t need to know the rest, seven hours later I was thinking of calling the cops and reporting it stolen ’cause she was both still out and not answering her cell phone.

Porno chicks have always been on their own time completely unaware of the actual time the rest of us operate on. They may for some brief stretch of time be prompt and aware, to which they’ll ov er and over remind us of the fact, but it always goes away and they end up back to their old tricks: busted car, crazy boyfriend, loss of electricity, loss of direction anything to make whoever is upset of their tardiness believe they’re anything other than what they are.

So this is a 2-part test. First, Taylor has to be at my house by 10:30. That’s next to impossible. Also, she has to bring the vacuum cleaner from her house ’cause she’s been yelling about how dirty my place is since my mother left last week. And do both by 10:30, which is now 46 minutes away.

Readers can guess when she will actually get here, and the closest to the actual time wins a set of LA Clippers tickets to which they can choose to take a porno chick to or use both for themselves. With your time guess you must also include whether she remembers to bring the vacuum.

Email me at faynerpornbiz@hotmail.com before 12:00 noon today with your guess. Results will be posted soon after that.

Good luck, Taylor. You need it.

HOW’S THE SOPRANO’S SO FAR?

The Sopranos
Reviewed
 

DOUBLE THREAT Buscemi (left, with James Gandolfini) both acts in a few episodes and directs an installment this season
DOUBLE THREAT Buscemi (left, with James Gandolfini) both acts in a few episodes and directs an installment this season

The fifth season of The Sopranos ended with an ominous image: The hulking bear that had menaced the Soprano household emerges into the backyard — and is revealed to be Tony (James Gandolfini) himself. That 2004 season (one of the series’ best) was all about the ruin Tony inflicted on others. This sixth and final season (the first of 12 episodes premieres March 12, then eight ”bonus” episodes air in early 2007) hints at the possibilities of redemption. Tony, flush with money, peacefully back with Carmela (Edie Falco), finds himself — as a result of one hell of a first-episode shocker — plopped into another symbol-filled dream sequence: Buddhist monks, a beacon of light, and questions about Tony’s true identity all swirl about. Back in the real world, Catholic priests, evangelical ministers, quantum theorists, and Jewish housewives all offer theories — accidental, faint, or aggressive — to salvation.

Of course, this being The Sopranos, deliverance is no sure thing: Tony learns an Ojibwe proverb about self-pity, and then proves he doesn’t get it at all when a tiny detail gets screwed up, prompting him to sigh, ”It’s always something.” But among all the banalities, prayers, and maxims flying about the first few episodes, it’s Tony, discussing business, who offers the most concrete thought: ”There’s enough garbage for everybody.”

The miseries of duty and pecking order are in fact downright pungent. When several members of Tony’s crew expect to rise in rank, only to remain firmly in place, tensions are ratcheted up in an environment already edgy from the continued discord with New York boss Johnny Sack (Vincent Curatola). Creator David Chase has always made clever use of the flickering images on Tony’s TV, and the first movie we see this season is Stanley Kubrick’s Paths of Glory, a film in which the ideas of loyalty, honor, and obedience are all painfully probed. Chase’s continuing theme of macho guys and their manly movies gets even more sly when Christopher (Michael Imperioli) returns to the film business by coercing his old AA buddy J.T. (Tim Daly) to whip up a script Christopher describes as ”Saw meets Godfather II.” The scene in which J.T. balances his tiny laptop on his knees as he tries to pitch his story to the Mob crew is nearly as pathetic an image of male flaccidity as Fredo’s ”I was stepped over” speech from the latter film.

It’s tough to jump-start a season when two of the first four episodes wander largely through Tony’s slow-moving subconsciousness (these scenes aren’t as unsettling as last season’s perfect 20-minute dream sequence), but the more leisurely pace allows for some singular moments. Much has been made of The Sopranos‘ out-of-nowhere flashes of violence that, six seasons in, have lost their original shock value. No, it’s the quick glimpses of unease and loneliness that the show nails so artfully, as when a weary Carmela, wandering in her half-built model home, confesses to the ghost of Adriana that she’s never not worried. In the Sopranos’ lives of not-so-quiet desperation, these subtle moments are the most devastating. Grade: A-

 

IS KEITH RICHARDS STILL ALIVE?

Stones to play for millionth fan at Tokyo Dome

Stones to play for millionth fan at Tokyo DomeTOKYO (Reuters) – Sixteen years after the Rolling Stones first toured Japan, the venerable British rockers are set to play this week for the one-millionth fan to hear them in the cavernous Tokyo Dome.

The band will kick off the Asian leg of their "A Bigger Bang" world tour on Wednesday at the 50,000-capacity baseball venue, its 23rd appearance there since 1990.

"I can’t believe we are playing to the millionth people in Japan this week," singer Mick Jagger told a news conference in Tokyo on Monday. "That’s going to be very exciting to me."

The group is scheduled to play a total of five concerts in Japan, including two at the Tokyo Dome.

Jagger, known as a cricket fan, expressed interest in the World Baseball Classic, whose championship game this week pits Japan against Cuba.

"The two teams are really different," Jagger said. "Japan is a very professional team and Cuba is an amateur team."

Asked later to predict the outcome, Jagger diplomatically forecast a victory by Japan.

The Rolling Stones, known for chart-topping hits like "Satisfaction" and "Honky Tonk Women" during a career spanning more than 40 years, are back in Japan for the first time since 2003, after tours in 1995 and 1998.

Jagger said he looks forward to playing for the first time in Sapporo, on Japan’s northern island of Hokkaido, and revisiting Nagoya in central Japan.

Guitarist Keith Richards said he hoped see Japan’s renowned cherry blossoms.

Jagger added, "Yes, this time we’re going to actually see the cherry blossom — the transient cherry blossom."

After Japan the band, including drummer Charlie Watts and guitarist Ron Wood, plans to make its mainland China debut in Shanghai on April 8. Two shows planned for China in spring 2003 were canceled because of the SARS epidemic.

Reuters/VNU

ANOTHER TRUST FUND BABY BORN

Trump’s wife gives birth to boy

Trump's wife gives birth to boyNEW YORK (Reuters) – Real estate mogul and reality TV star Donald Trump said on Monday his wife, Melania, had given birth to a boy.

Trump announced the news in a telephone interview with MSNBC’s “Imus in the Morning” show, saying the couple had not yet chosen a name.

“Everyone’s perfect,” Trump said of his wife and new baby.

The 59-year-old entrepreneur and star of the NBC television show “The Apprentice” has three children with his first wife, Ivana Trump, and one with his second wife, Marla Maples.

He married Melania Knauss, a Slovenian model, in a lavish ceremony in Florida in January last year attended by a host of celebrities.

A spokeswoman at Trump’s office confirmed Knauss had given birth but had no further details.

Trump was already famous as a property and casino mogul when he launched the hit show “The Apprentice” in 2003. In it, young contestants vie to show their business savvy and win a spot working on a Trump venture.

GOOD NEWS FOR FAYNER!!!

More “Simpsons,” “King of the Hill” on Fox

By Nellie Andreeva

LOS ANGELES (Hollywood Reporter) – Fox is loading up on animated comedies “The Simpsons” and “King of the Hill.”

The network has ordered two more seasons of “The Simpsons,” its 18th and 19th, and one more of “King of the Hill,” the show’s 11th.

The two-year renewal for “The Simpsons,” the longest-running entertainment primetime series on the air, guarantees it will be on the air at least through the 2007-08 season, during which the show will hit its 400th episode.

The show’s principal voice cast, which includes Dan Castellaneta, Julie Kavner, Nancy Cartwright, Yeardley Smith and Hank Azaria, who threatened to go strike a few years ago until they got better deals, are all said to be locked in for the duration of the new pact.

After a two-month hiatus, production on “King of the Hill” recently resumed, after new deals were sealed with principal behind-the-scenes talent, including showrunners/executive producers John Altschuler and David Krinsky and co-creator/executive producer/voice actor Mike Judge.

Because “King of the Hill” has been a subject of frequent pre-emptions for Fox’s NFL football coverage, the network has enough fresh episodes for the rest of this season. The show is slated to return for its 11th season in January.

Reuters/Hollywood Reporter

WAS DA VINCI CODE A FAKE?

Final chapter looms in “Da Vinci” copying case

“The Da Vinci Code” copyright case winds up

By Mike Collett-White, Reuters

Final chapter looms in LONDON (Reuters) – The copyright case against the publishers of “The Da Vinci Code” reached its final chapter on Monday, with lawyers for the claimants renewing accusations that millionaire author Dan Brown stole their ideas.

The Da Vinci Code, one of the most successful novels of all time with sales of over 40 million copies, shares some of the same ideas as “The Holy Blood and the Holy Grail,” a 1982 work of historical conjecture by Michael Baigent and Richard Leigh.

Both books raise the possibility that Jesus had a child by Mary Magdalene, that she fled to France after the Crucifixion and that Christ’s bloodline survives to this day. They also associate Magdalene with the Holy Grail.

“Since first reading The Da Vinci Code, they believe that in writing The Da Vinci Code, Dan Brown copied from their work, HBHG,” said Jonathan Rayner James, lawyer for Baigent and Leigh.

The third author of the Holy Blood book, Henry Lincoln, is not part of the legal action.

The case, which has lasted over three weeks, is expected to end later on Monday, and a judgment from Justice Peter Smith could take several weeks.

In his closing submission, Rayner James sought to play down fears that a win for the historians would limit the extent to which novelists can draw on sources, historical or otherwise.

“In this case, Brown has used HBHG with the intention of appropriating the work of its authors,” Rayner James said. “He and/or Blythe has intentionally used HBHG in order to save the time and effort that independent research would have required.”

Brown’s wife Blythe emerged as a key figure in the case, collecting research before he wrote the novel and arguing for the inclusion of some of its most important themes.

WHERE IS BLYTHE?

Rayner James said Blythe’s evidence was of “fundamental importance” to the case.

“It was crucial in revealing the dependency on HBHG and the extent to which she relied upon it,” he said. “Perhaps that explains why she was not produced.”

Dan Brown, who was not in court on Monday but spent three days under cross examination last week, explained that he wanted to keep his wife away from the media spotlight.

“It would have been possible for Blythe Brown to give evidence by video link, thereby limiting the public glare that he says she dislikes,” countered Rayner James.

The lawyer criticized Brown, 41, for being vague about dates and sources. He also called his own client Baigent “a poor witness.”

The historians argue that Blythe must have referred to the Holy Blood book before Brown wrote his synopsis of The Da Vinci Code in January, 2001, contrary to his witness statement.

Copyright lawyers believe the historians may struggle to convince the judge they can copyright general ideas, while publishing executives say the case underlines the saying: “Where there’s a hit, there’s a writ.”

It is not the first time Brown has been accused of plagiarism. Last August he won a court ruling against Lewis Perdue, who alleged The Da Vinci Code copied elements of two of his novels, “Daughter of God” and “The Da Vinci Legacy.”

The losing side in the current case faces over one million pounds ($1.75 million) in legal costs, although the publicity has caused a spike in sales of the Holy Blood book.

Also set to benefit from the media coverage is the Hollywood movie of The Da Vinci Code, starring Tom Hanks, out in May; the release of the U.S. paperback edition of the novel on March 28, and Baigent, whose book “The Jesus Papers” is due out next week.

BRITNEY’S SEX TAPE CASE ON HOLD

briynetspears.jpgBritney Spears’ against US magazine has been delayed and almost dismissed due to the lack of evidence.Britney Spears is suing US Weekly magazine over a story alleging that the Britney and husband Kevin Federline filmed an X-rated sex tape which they showed to a board of consultants.

Britney Spears, apparently having forgotten that her initial success was built on sex appeal, and has denied ever making the tape or showing it to her advisors at any point.

Pop-star-turned-at-home-mum filed a $20 million libel suit against the celebrity magazine. However, US Weekly magazine has refused to back down.

In a hearing at a Beverley Hills superior court yesterday, Judge Lisa Hart Cole said that the current evidence put forward by both sides was insufficient to make a definitive ruling.

Now, Britney Spears’ attorney, Martin Singer, has to garner evidence about a potentially key witness in a bid to bring him before the court.

The next hearing is scheduled to take place on May 3.

Britney Spears was not present at the hearing, as she is currently holidaying in Hawaii.

 

 

 

from GCN.ie