COMING THIS WEEK – A LF EXCLUSIVE

Coming up this week… we’re going to bring you an exclusive look inrto the future of the Adult Industry. Lukeford is going to introduce you to some of the people who are behind the scenes, working hard at changing the face of adult and bringing it more and more into mainstream. They’re young, they’re hungry, they’re intelligent, they smoke bowls all day and they LOVE the sex industry!!

First Up… probably the brightest of them all…. they call him "ASHER"

…… stay tuned!!!!!

SPEAKS FOR ITSELF: FROM PORNOHS.COM

Conditions Worsening For Shit Storm “Kenny” Survivors Stranded At Metro; Widespread Looting, Kickbacks, And Harassment

Worst shit storm to hit San Fernando Valley since Shit Storm LFP slammed into VCA in 2003.

Tuesday September 6, 2005 Posted 4:10 AM EDT (0810 GMT) – Brad Watkins, Editor

Chatsworth, Ca – For survivors of Shit Storm Kenny, which slammed into Metro Video as a Category 4 Shit Storm, the worst is far from over. While most employees are thankful just to have jobs, their futures with the company are bleak and uncertain.

Stranded workers wondered up and down the halls of Metro, searching want ads and comforting each other in the wake of Kenny. The power of the shit storm caught many off guard.

“I told everybody I knew who still worked at that place to evacuate years ago, but honestly, nobody expected it to be this bad,” said former Metro accounts payable clerk Eric Fulton.

“By the time things got really bad it was too late, a lot of them didn’t even have resumes prepared. Even if they had, most couldn’t afford to have it photocopied or even pay postage after suffering for months without paychecks.”

“I barely survived Shit Storm Guarino back in ‘03. I swore I would never put myself or my family through something like that again. I got out, but sadly, these events often target the most desperate and vulnerable amongst us,” described Fulton.

Since devastating Metro, Shit Storm Kenny has been downgraded to an Ongoing Depression but is expected to regain strength over Lake Balboa and pummel Defiance Films as a Category 5 Shit Storm.

By Sunday the storm had officially claimed 7 jobs but that number is expected to rise dramatically as California’s Employment Development Department (EDD) begins its investigation and recovery effort.

The EDD plans to airlift job applications and unemployment checks to workers still trapped inside Metro.

“What is taking the government so long? People are dying here,” exclaimed Katie Hynes, Metro Art Department employee. “Conditions are horrible. The electricity is off, the phones are limited to local calls only, and today I found human feces in one of our scanners!”

Electrical power was later restored to the building after Southern California Edison received a payment.

Human excrement found inside computer equipment at the company is being blamed on disgruntled employee Gustavo Chavarria, Metro’s Head of Production.

“Sometimes shit storms bring out the worst in people,” said EDD spokesperson Randal Dunlap.

“A lot of the monetary aid we’re rushing into Metro is being looted, Chavarria is most likely the person responsible. There have been unconfirmed reports Gustavo is demanding kickbacks from the Salvation Army, FEMA, and Red Cross volunteers Bridgette and Skeeter Kerkove, it’s truly disgusting.”

Despite the lawlessness some Metro employees have emerged as heroes. Noel Bloom was promoted to Metro’s VP of Operations in part because of his gallant leadership in the aftermath of the disaster.

“There were reports Bloom had gathered his belongings and fled the building just before Kenny hit. While true, Bloom returned to the scene, offering hopeless employees letters of recommendation and references,” described Dunlap.

“Many wondered why Noel wasn’t called in sooner. He is an expert in post disaster recovery, having endured many shit storms throughout his career in the adult industry.”

Bloom gained national attention in the days following the March 11th 2005 LFP Black Tower layoffs in which nearly 3000 Hustler employees lost their jobs. He spent much of his 42 day tenure with the company consoling victims, before being fired himself.

Although one of the most tragic, Kenny isn’t the first catastrophic shit storm to hit Metro. Shit Storm Ken ripped through the company in May 2003. It was followed by Shit Storm Guarino in the fall of that same year. Only months later Category 3 Kenneth struck, knocking out nearly 4 jobs.

With Metro’s history of disastrous shit storms some are questioning if the corporation should even be rebuilt.

“It’s just not a safe place to work,” said Greg Alves, former Metro employee and owner of Zero Tolerance Video.

“I feel bad for everyone involved but Metro workers knew the risks associated with employment at a company that is below profit level.”

The most devastating San Fernando Valley shit storm ever recorded occurred in 2003 when Shit Storm LFP hit VCA without warning. It mercilessly pounded the company for almost two years before leaving all of VCA’s employees jobless.

Forecasters are now turning their attention to Ongoing Depression Larry churning just inside the Beverly Hills city limits. Computer models suggest it will become a powerful shit storm. Its projected path puts it on a collision course with Pulse Pictures.

JASMIN ST CLAIRE NEWS

Next month, former adult film and ECW wrestling star Jasmin St. Claire will introduce and host a new metal DVD-zine, ‘Metal’s Dark Side’, a new extreme metal video magazine published six times a year nationally through MVD- Music Video Distributors.  The first of its kind, this DVD-zine will feature interviews and videos from the most extreme metal acts, ranging in genre from black metal to speed metal to death metal and so forth.  The debut issue features interviews with Cannibal Corpse, Death Angel, Satyricon, Himsa (in a special in-studio interview segment), and Damage Plan, as well as a special Tribute to late Pantera guitarist Dimebag Darrell. 

Jasmin got her start as an adult film star in 1995, was one of Howard Stern’s most popular guests, and had been deemed ‘America’s Most Controversial Sex Symbol’ by the time she retired in 1999.  Following her retirement from the adult film business, Jasmin joined the wildly popular ECW Wrestling Circuit, where she quickly became known as one of the most visible personalities on the circuit, acting as both manager and wrestler in her 2 year stint with ECW.  Thereafter, she founded the 3PW wrestling company with the Blue Meanie.  Following her retirement from the wrestling circuit in 2004, Jasmin began acting in more mainstream movie roles, most recently including her leading role in the forthcoming National Lampoon Dorm Daze II movie.  Additionally, she serves as a BC Rich and Coffin Case Spokesmodel.  Finally, in addition to beginning work on her authorized autobiography in the summer of 2005, she is in the process of closing a deal to become host of her own nationally-syndicated radio show as a spin-off of the DVD-Zine entitled Metal’s Dark Side Radio with Jasmin St. Claire’, beginning in November of 2005.  Check out Jasmin’s official website, www.jasminstclaire.com for more details on all of the above! 
For any interview request with jasmin, please contact me.

Thanks,
Kiana
 

FANMAIL, FANMAIL

EMAIL #1
hey taylor, me and my girlfriend are huge fans and we really enjoy your work.  we were thinking if you ever were in NYC it would be our pleasure to smoke you and your posse (?) up.  we are a totally normal (aka not crazy) couple.  i’m a teacher for crying out loud.  anyway, it would be our pleasure to host you in the big apple.  if not good luck in all of your endeavors and thank you for the countless hours of jacking off time you are GREAT!!! (i added that last gem).  anyways, thanks for your time, and good luck withthis site! .. david and rebekah

EMAIL #2
Hey Taylor, the shit you did with your site rocks.  I know you are a stoner (Fo’ Real) so you should come to Canada and try some of our premium B.C. or T.O. weed.  Its practically legal to buy weed in stores down in B.C. … Jason

EMAIL #3
Hi Taylor, I just wanted to say "You rock girl".
I’ve been into porn for 30 years now and you are truly HOT and real! Like you I’ve been a stoner for a long time. I love your ‘tude and your body rocks! Keep up the smut!
signed, a 42 yr old male slut.BBB, (Big Balls Bill)

EMAIL #4

Sup Taylor, my name’s Robert.  I’m fairly new in the industry and am working on a few websites of mine under the company Hawkmaster Entertainment, Inc.  I ready that you’re over at Pierce College.  I wanted to offer my services as a tutor, if you were experiencing any trouble in math or science courses such as chemistry or physics.  I’d be honored to help you in any respect, and would just blow my mind to be in the presence of the tender little Taylor Rain!  I’m not some weird chester the molestor stalker guy, I’m just a college student working in the industry and getting shit done. And of course after learning all that fun shit that they make you take at college, we could hit the fuckin peace pipe after…oh yeah! Let me know if you’re interested. Robert C.

EMAIL #5
T, My name is David and I have a good story.  My fiancee and I have been together in NYC for 2 years.  Early on in our relationship she had a problem with my porn collection.  Once we communicated the problem she learned that most of my porn was YOU.  Why was that so good for us?   Well, I explained to her that watching you was kinda like watching HER have sex, since you two really look alike.  So everyting was OK.  Shrotly after it came to me…how fucking cool would it to be to party with you when you were in town…sure you get email like this all of the time, but we are really a hot couple, and at the very least you’ll fucking crack up and laugh all night.  We are not just hot, but we are mad fun.  WHen I looked for contact inof, to my happy surprise, I found out you smoke the haze….EVERYNIGHT for us, probalby why we dont party too much anymore, It’s perfect, bring your ass to NYC we’ll smoke the schiiiizo and maybe your twin and you can at least kisss?!?!?!  I know, I am barking up the proverbial tree, but I can try right???  Anyway, I’ve become a big ass fan, you were chokin’ on that shit before it was cool…… DJ PS here is a pic
EMAIL #6
Dear Ms. Rain,
I’m in a punk band called The Runs, based out of San Jose, CA.  Since we’re big fans of you and your work, we’d be honored if we could send you a copy of our album and a t-shirt to go along with it.  If you don’t like the CD, you can use it as a coaster.  If you don’t like the t-shirt, I’m sure Bandit the Third will put it to good use.  If you can give me an address to which I can send our shit, I’d dig it. Thanks, and happy gardening, Scott
http://www.theruns.com/
ps. I’m not a creep.

EMAIL #7
Hi Taylor.  I’m a 28 year old grad student in shitty Akron, Ohio.  Just wanted
to congratulate on going back to school.  I hope you stick to it and make
something of yourself, unlike that junkiewhore Ashley Blue.  *Puff, puff,
give*. -Chris

EMAIL #8
hi Taylor Luke Mason From ADT Just Writing you to tell you I am with you and  defiancefilms on this Metro Issue. Metro is getting so lame now they cant see the forest through the trees. Sounds Like Metro is Becoming Desperate Now Doing anything it can to Get a Free $ Hell they cant even afford to pay the talent that works for them for MO’s on end Just Ask Cytherea How she feels about Metro And Cover your Ears as she tells you.


EMAIL #9 

Hi Taylor, what’s up?  You’re my favorite brunette porn star.  I usually like blondes, but you’re pretty cute for a brunette.  I read on your site that you’re taking an English class; I actually have an English degree and I can honestly say that you’re grammar is not as atrocious as one would expect from a porn star.  I’m sure if you were blonde, it would be a lot worse.  Lol. I wrote an essay for school a couple of years ago defending the porn industry.  The paper got an A but I’m sure my professor thought I was a pervert.  One day she also overheard me discussing my penis size with a female friend of mine.  By the way, do you have any favorite books or writers?  I can tell you about some cool books to read in your spare time. 
John

 
EMAIL #10 
Hey TMFR… Read all the shit about Tory Lane on the site, and it peaked my interest. Checked out a bout 4-5 of her scenes and that chick is a fucking hot little firecracker. Cant understand for the life of me why a porn girl gets married and then swears off fucking unless it’s her hubby or suitcase pimp. I’ve also read some interviews with this little hottie and from what I read, she isn’t going to be just doing hubby for long. That will wear off soon, doesn’t it always. Anyway, that’s for the heads up on her, I figured that a chick you cast for your movie had to be on fire. Brian

MY UPCOMING MOVIES

I got 5 movies coming out, click the small boxes to get more info.

Penetration Nation (Ships tomorrow)

With Taylor Rain, Jenna Haze, Lauren Phoenix, Katsumi, Bobbi Blair and Saana
Click HERE for the Trailer & Photo Gallery

World Series of Sex Vol 1: Blowjobs
World Series of Sex Vol 1: Blowjobs 
With Taylor Rain, Jamie Brooks, Courtney Simpson, Kat, Victoria Sweet, Alexis Malone, Channel Chavez, Kaiya Lynn, Veronica Lynn, Nikki Hillton, Dayrn Darby
Click HERE to View The Photo Gallery

Fanta-Sin

Starring Taylor Rain, Paola Tey, Celeste Star, Holly Morgan, Jada Fire, Anita Bluw, Trina Michaels, Shy Luv and Monika Sweetheart 
Click HERE for the Trailer and Photo Gallery

Ski Bitch

Starring Taylor Rain, Rita Faltoyano, Katja Kassin, Melissa Lauren, Monica Mayhem, Eve Lawrence, Julie Robbins, Sara Stone, Kelly Kline, Ava Ramone
Click HERE for the Photo Gallery

Ass-ylum

Starring Taylor Rain, Roxy Jezel, Katsumi, Jasmyne Byrne, Dani Woodward
Click HERE for the Photo Gallery
Starring

I’M OFF TO NANTUCKET

Since I have to start school next week, I’m off to Nantucket with Scottie for one last smoke out session. There will be lots of pics and crazy stories.

I already picked my choice Porn Star of the week, Rising Star of The Week and Gone Buyt Not Forgotten, so expect to see them this week.

TMFR,
Owner, Editor and Other Stuff

MY EXPERIENCE AT PIERCE COLLEGE YESTERDAY

My experience at Pierce College yesterday was fucking annoying. I give that school a D- for their effort in organization. They kept telling me to go here first then there and then go here. For a stoner I don’t have patience at all but I did. I was pretty motivated to enroll into school.

First off I’m not able to take English this semester because it takes 2 weeks to transfer your old credits.  That sucked but I still didn’t give up! I told them I just want to go back school all right. Just enroll me in something. So they said you can take a photography night class because everything else is filled up. I said “FUCK IT LETS DO THIS”.

So im enrolled at Pierce College for photography. Night class (3:15-6:15)! HOLLA! Im so excited to go back to school its been 4 years. God that makes me feel old! Whatever! I give my 110% at everything that I do! Im very used to going to  set but now I will get used to going back to school! On that note TMFR is enrolled into college! Holla!
God when is the pot dealer going to get here? j/k

TMFR
OWNER, WRITER, AND EDITOR

COMMENTARY ON METRO VS DEFIANCE

The Poison Pen Writes in:

Metro goombah, excuse me, um, poobah, Kenny G. is at it again. At this point in his porn career apparently extortion and filing false claims are old hat for good ‘ol boy Guarino. Let me explain… Kenny G. first tried extorting product out of his former employee Joey Wilson, now head of 3rd Degree. He wanted product for his profitable brick-and-mortar stores. You see, Metro has fallen off the porn landscape and Kenny G. now makes most of his bank from his stores scattered throughout the country. So Kenny G. wanted these pieces “on the house” or he would file a frivolous lawsuit against Joey and 3rd Degree and attempt to bury him under the pressure of mounting legal fees until he gave in. Faced with the expense of starting up a studio, Wilson settled with Guarino for undisclosed terms.

His latest strong-arm, extortion plot is against the good people of Defiance Films, who employ my lovely Editor-In-Chief, Taylor Rain. Kenny G(oombah) is trying to pull the same shit again. He is alleging his former contract girl; Kelly Erickson has breached her Metro contract by working for Defiance Films. I guess Kenny constitutes being curled up and napping on the Defiance Films couch, work. The second claim states that Anthony Simone and Keith O’Connor "induced" Matrix and Norman Bentley to breech their distribution contract, wow… considering Metro breaches contracts daily by failing to pay on time or failing to pay AT ALL, it’s simply more BS from Guarino and the BOZO CFO they employ Les Rich. In any event Kenny G. has barked up the wrong tree here. The lawsuit absolutely has no merit, and in fact, the day it was filed Kenny G. emailed Defiance asking if they would like to take the path of settling. Hmm, where have a heard that before? Ask Cytherea how well Metro pays, ask anyone who shot for Michael Adams lately, ask photographer Tod Todd, ask anyone!!! Metro has established a PATTERN of screwing directors and performers out of money. Metro/Guarino have also established another interesting pattern. Guarno loves to blame his former employees for the fuckups at Metro, but close inspection would instead point the finger at Guarino himself. Sure he owns the company and can run it into thr ground if he so chooses or use it as a filtering place. But facts are facts.

Greg Alves
– Former Metro Boss – Present owner of Zero Tolerance, one of the leaders in the adult business, outselling Metro 4 to 1.

Rick Williams
 –  Former Metro Boss – Present owner of Black Widow Productions, a very stable company that distributes their own product and other companies product, outselling Metro 3 to 1.

Joseph Wilson
–  Former Metro Boss – Present owner of 3rd Degree Films, one of the fast rising companies in adult today, outselling Metro 3 to 1.

Keith O’Connor
– Former Metro Boss – Present head of production for Defiance Films, shipping product for 3 months and already seen as an industry powerhouse, outselling Metro 3 to 1.

So, in Guarino’s world, 4 incompetent managers who didn’t know what they were doing. In the REAL world, 4 people who once rid of the Guarino burden went off and successfully started and continue to run 4 completely separate successful entities. Look in the mirror Guarino, YOU are the problem. Be a man and take responsibility, by blaming everyone else under the sun who goes off and becomes successful you make yourself look like a jackass. And the intimidation tactics against O’Connor and Simone won’t work, "I’ll send some east coast guys over to their house and show them how we handle things", that won’t work with these two, instead it would get shoved right up Guarino’s ass!

Don’t expect Defiance to stand for Kenny G.’s bullish and illegal tactics. Metro is on the verge of collapse. They have no more contract girls, there are kickbacks all over the place, their product doesn’t sell and sexual harassment accusations are flying all over the place. Plus, rumor has it that a certain company is about to hit Metro and Guarino with a 20 Million Dollar suit that will shut down their websites and their production company. More on that later, faithful LukeFord.com readers…

METRO vs. DEFIANCE FILMS

Check out AVN.com for the breaking story about Defiance Films being sued by Metro and Kenny Guarino.

The funniest thing to me was that they got a quote from "general counsel" Lesley Rich, OH MY GOD, I met this guy and now I find out he’s a lawyer. I thought he was some putz that tested novelty products. Every time people mentioned his name it was because this Les Rich guy is famous for 1) smacking himself in the head all the time, 2) being cockeyed, 3) being an absolute idiot, 4) hiding under a desk one day because he was afraid Gauge was going to kick his ass, and 5) he’s well known for grabbing novelty samples to take home and shove up hisa ass. WOW, General Counsel, well considering Guarino often brags about only having a 5th grade education I guess it’s not to hard to conceive him hiring a moron to be General Counsel to his company.