FORMER METRO SECRETARY PISSSSSED

from adultfyi.com

A little birdie told me that the only thing "thick-set" on the secretary with the "joisey accent" are her set of hooters.  This girl is going to be a certain fatso Metro executive’s worst nightmare instead of his favorite fantasy like she used to be.  Oh, she may look like a dumb blonde, but she knows her stuff and he knows she knows her stuff.  Apparently she had her hand in almost every aspect of Metro’s business on both coasts but she refused to put her hand in the owner’s pants, and working in such an unhealthy environment at crumbling Metro made her so sick, she landed in the hospital more than once.  But don’t worry about her.  She’s a strong little girl who is back to herself and ready to ruffle some feathers, or perhaps belly fat, on a certain someone who kicked her when she was down even though she was the most dedicated employee Metro ever saw.  Hope his wife is understanding!

FAYNER MAKES IT TO THE “URBAN DICTIONARY”!

FROM http://www.urbandictionary.com/

1. Scott Fayner

 

n. 1. An "avid" writter in todays adult industry. A drug enthusiast to say the least, crack head to say the most (Seymour Butts). For what he lacks in news, he makes up for in creativity.

adj. 1) to love cocaine.

2) to have a small and crooked penis.
3) to be nearly as famous as the butler from fresh prince.

Porno Bitch #1: I heard Scott Fayner makes good girls go bad.
Porno Bitch #2: He’s really hott. I want him.
Porno Bitch #1: He’s got the clap. And I think I he likes drugs.
Fayner Says: This rules. To be hated so much and be envied evn more makes me smile.

RICK SHAMELESS RESPONDS TO TAYLOR

everyone has the right to defend themselves on this here web site

Taylor Spielberg,

While I remain bummed about your severe commentary (STICK TO YOUR DAY JOB) on the other day. I do want to apologize, on a professional level, for costing you and Defiance time and money. The choice to attempt a scene with my wife Tory was made in an effort to assist her and you guys in a boy/girl scene, which is something she chooses not to do with anyone but me. It was obviously a bad idea, and has created some tension, so let me address a few points.

I have a new found respect for male talent and have come to the conclusion that performing on camera is no easy task. I realize that this is especially true when you are trying to get wood for a scene you are doing with your wife. It became clear to me how intimidating, and pressure filled this line of work can prove to be.

With all of that said, you will be happy to know that not only have I changed my name to LIMP RICK GAMELESS, I have also learned a valuable lesson and have decided to keep my day job.

One more thing- Tory is my wife and her choice with regard to her career is her personal business, neither of us will apologize for that, so get over it and move on. You more than anyone should be supportive of any girl in our business that wants to have a life above and beyond porno. As a female director you are an affront to other girls in the business and sabotage any ones attempt at taking you seriously and that’s a shame because the “hater” attitude belittles you and the rest of the girls that do this for a living who try to have some kind of normal personal life.  For the record- Tory is her own person and makes up her own mind who she fucks and whether there is a camera on or not. I do believe that the finger pointing and career blaming is meant to antagonize and manipulate our present choice of monogamy, but it is predictable, obvious and is futile.  In closing, I hope there are no hard feelings and remember that next time perhaps the tone deaf, annoyance of your voice won’t hang like a dark “limp dick” cloud over my already challenged “keeping my muthafuckin day job” stroke session.

NO ONE GETS FIRED FROM HUSTLER

The Poison Pen writes: Young gun, and perpetually-rising gonzo shooter, Van Styles is out at Hustler. This comes as no surprise given the corporate climate that has besieged Hustler lately. Van joins Kat Slater, Jack the Zipper, Mason and Joe Gallant as resent émigrés of the Hustler regime.

Bring your life jackets boys, cause Hustler is up shit’s creek without a paddle. That leaves the enigmatic Tom Zupko as Hustler’s contract shooter and I can’t see that lasting long. As for Van, who directed my favorite interracial flick of the year, Take It Black 2, there’s no doubt he’ll land on his feet. Word has it that he is already signed to Pulse Pictures, run by former Hustler bigwigs Jim Kohls and Mark Hamilton. I also hear Steve Hirsch is financing the Pulse operation, which is being run out of the Red Light offices.  

 

 

FREE PORN GIVEAWAY!!

Ok, here comes our first giveaway of the month. In connection with Adultdvd.com we’re giving away 5 FREE porn DVD’s to the BEST WRITER to the following question.

WHAT IN THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH METRO???

Send your emails to webmaster@lukeford.com with you best guesses as to what’s wrong with this one time powerhouse pron producer, emphasis on one time. Today they are literally in the gutter. So, write your best stories as to what happened to Metro, and TMFR will pick the winner and send you your FREE DVD’s!!

BACK TO SCHOOL

I’m going back to school.  Tomorrow is the last day to register. Typical hooker.

September.1 is the last day you can register. September.6 is the first day of school. I will be in Nantucket the first week of school. I roll in late to school and a week later. Cuz I can!

 I’m so high right now. I can’t take anything seriously! You wish you could smoke good herb like me. WHAT!

YEAH I’M HARD!

I am taking English 82; it is introduction to college English. There are also, English 28, 32, and 79 but ive taken 32 and 79. I’m movin up to 82! HOLLA! English is not my best subject.  I think I can learn more better English. Ha! Ha! Ha!

I am also taking a photography class because I am very interested in photography. I know what looks hard and what looks whack.

What I am trying to accomplish is transferring to a private college. I would love to go to pepperdine eventually. It’s a beautiful college. I’ve smoked mad herb on that campus. HOLLA!

I wonder how many people at pepperdine jack off to me personally? I would have to say half the school including the teachers. You know they watch porn too!

Anyways wish me good luck and anyone who hates me could GO FUCK OFF!

Late
TMFR
OWNER, WRITER, AND EDITOR