The FBI is joining the Bush administration’s War on Porn. And it’s looking for a few good agents.

Early last month, the bureau’s Washington Field Office began recruiting for a new anti-obscenity squad. Attached to the job posting was a July 29 Electronic Communication from FBI headquarters to all 56 field offices, describing the initiative as "one of the top priorities" of Attorney General Alberto R. Gonzales and, by extension, of "the Director." That would be FBI Director Robert S. Mueller III.
Mischievous commentary began propagating around the water coolers at 601 Fourth St. NW and its satellites, where the FBI’s second-largest field office concentrates on national security, high-technology crimes and public corruption.
The new squad will divert eight agents, a supervisor and assorted support staff to gather evidence against "manufacturers and purveyors" of pornography — not the kind exploiting children, but the kind that depicts, and is marketed to, consenting adults.
"I guess this means we’ve won the war on terror," said one exasperated FBI agent, speaking on the condition of anonymity because poking fun at headquarters is not regarded as career-enhancing.
"We must not need any more resources for espionage."
Among friends and trusted colleagues, an experienced national security analyst said, "it’s a running joke for us."
A few of the printable samples:
"Things I Don’t Want On My Résumé, Volume Four."
"I already gave at home."
"Honestly, most of the guys would have to recuse themselves."
Federal obscenity prosecutions, which have been out of style since Attorney General Edwin Meese III in the Reagan administration made pornography a signature issue in the 1980s, do "encounter many legal issues, including First Amendment claims," the FBI headquarters memo noted.
Applicants for the porn squad should therefore have a stomach for the kind of material that tends to be most offensive to local juries. Community standards — along with a prurient purpose and absence of artistic merit — define criminal obscenity under current Supreme Court doctrine.
"Based on a review of past successful cases in a variety of jurisdictions," the memo said, the best odds of conviction come with pornography that "includes bestiality, urination, defecation, as well as sadistic and masochistic behavior." No word on the universe of other kinks that helps make porn a multibillion-dollar industry.
Popular acceptance of hard-core pornography has come a long way, with some of its stars becoming mainstream celebrities and their products — once confined to seedy shops and theaters — being "purveyed" by upscale hotels and most home cable and satellite television systems. Explicit sexual entertainment is a profit center for companies including General Motors Corp. and Rupert Murdoch’s News Corp. (the two major owners of DirecTV), Time Warner Inc. and the Sheraton, Hilton, Marriott and Hyatt hotel chains.
But Gonzales endorses the rationale of predecessor Meese: that adult pornography is a threat to families and children. Christian conservatives, long skeptical of Gonzales, greeted the pornography initiative with what the Family Research Council called "a growing sense of confidence in our new attorney general."
Congress began funding the obscenity initiative in fiscal 2005 and specified that the FBI must devote 10 agents to adult pornography. The bureau decided to create a dedicated squad only in the Washington Field Office. "All other field offices may investigate obscenity cases pursuant to this initiative if resources are available," the directive from headquarters said. "Field offices should not, however, divert resources from higher priority matters, such as public corruption."
Public corruption, officially, is fourth on the FBI’s priority list, after protecting the United States from terrorist attack, foreign espionage and cyber-based attacks. Just below those priorities are civil rights, organized crime, white-collar crime and "significant violent crime." The guidance from headquarters does not mention where pornography fits in.
"The Department of Justice and the Federal Bureau of Investigation’s top priority remains fighting the war on terrorism," said Justice Department press secretary Brian Roehrkasse. "However, it is not our sole priority. In fact, Congress has directed the department to focus on other priorities, such as obscenity."
At the FBI’s field office, spokeswoman Debra Weierman expressed disappointment that some of her colleagues find grist for humor in the new campaign. "The adult obscenity squad . . . stems from an attorney general mandate, funded by Congress," she said. "The personnel assigned to this initiative take the responsibility of this assignment very seriously and are dedicated to the success of this program."


Early on in adolescence, Asher Hardt knew he wasn’t going to work in finance. His fate was sealed at nine years old, when young Asher traded two Shaquille O’Neal rookie cards for two copies of Playboy. Not a wise financial move considering Shaq has gone on to win multiple NBA Championships and is one of the greatest players ever. However, Asher has made good on that seemingly one-sided trade too, rapidly ascending the ranks of the jizz bizz. The following is a true story. “Dude, these naked chicks were falling from the sky and stripping,” Asher said. Not in reference to a recent acid trip, but rather memories of watching his first softcore porn. His buddy’s dad was a producer and always had porn lying around.

Asher’s descent into porn began at the tender age of 14 when he accomplished the triumvirate of touching his first breast, watching his first hardcore porn and seeing a Pornstar in the flesh. The final occurrence happened when he was visiting his uncle in Sylmar. His uncle, Norman Bentley, was checking on a pornstars’ outfit before a photo shoot. “She was wearing this black see-through lingerie and I thought that was the pinnacle, the defining moment of my young life,” Asher reminisced.

Now, at 20 years young, Asher runs Matrix Content, the leading online distributor of high-end adult content. For over five years they have supplied content to Club, Men’s World, Exposed, Cherry, Club Confidential, Sex News and many more smut outlets.

Asher got his first taste of porno poontang when he boffed hot redhead, Penny Flame. He’s quick to point out Penny is pretty down to earth and fun to chill with. Also, he said his cell phone number hasn’t changed and to give him a call sometime, ok Penny?

The business has been good to Asher. He loves the fact you can sell something that you love and believe in. He loves having the power to decide what guys jerk off to, who it will be to and how it’s presented. “Fuck the bible belt bullshit man,” Asher raged. “Those people are living on a different planet. If people like having sex, are good at it and look good doing it, then why not capture the moment and let other people see it.” Porn is steadily but surely entreating into mainstream territory. Asher’s personal mission is to bring porn to as many people as possible, especially those who ordinarily might not be exposed to it. As one of the industry’s young guns, expect to hear more from Matrix and the phenom they call Asher.

To reach Asher at Matrix email him at asher@matrixcontent.com





(from Pornohs.com… these guys come up with some seriously funny shit!!)

OJ Simpson Offers To Assist In The Hunt For Metro Video Conspirators

Simpson will make his entire team of private investigators, still searching for the real murderer of his ex-wife, available to Metro

Monday September 19, 2005 Posted 6:27 AM EDT (1027 GMT) – Brad Watkins, Editor

Brentwood, Ca – As Metro Video struggles to emerge from the aftermath of Shit Storm Kenny, which hit the company as a Category 5 shit storm nearly 3 weeks ago, rebuilding is just one of many challenges facing the company.

Just when hope seemed all but lost a bright spot has appeared on the horizon for employees of Metro. Help is on the way from an unlikely source.

HardcoreGossip.com, a traditionally unbiased source of Metro insider news and information, recently brought to light details of a conspiracy plot against the company in a shocking expose.

“Metro is the victim of a scandalous and defamatory conspiracy involving some of its former employees and others,” the web site reported.

“Mike Adams, aka Mr. Metro, has perpetrated a substantial and damaging propaganda scheme on behalf of himself and the conspirators, telling lies regarding Metro for the sole purpose to undermine and destroy the reputation of Metro, and the good name of the individuals that work for Metro.”

OJ Simpson, a victim in the fallout of the 1994 murders of his ex-wife Nicole Brown and her friend Ron Goldman, is no stranger to conspiracies and has offered to support Metro in their time of crisis.

“After my painful experience with the L.A.P.D. in 1994 I know what it’s like to suffer through false allegations and inaccurate media reporting. I just want to help in anyway I can,” stated Simpson.

“Since the day of the murders, and my subsequent acquittal, I’ve searched golf courses and strip clubs all over the U.S. and abroad, desperately seeking the individual responsible for Nicole’s death. It’s been tough. To date I have yet to uncover any new leads and have identified 0 new suspects.”

“Despite this, I remain confident that one day the killer will be found. It’s scary knowing he or she is roaming our golf courses a free man.”

“I’ve been a fan of Metro’s high quality adult video products for years. They’ve helped me through the loneliness and depression which followed the killings. Being a suspect in a double murder case spells death to your social life.”

“As I continue to search for the real killer of Nicole I’ve instructed my investigative team to keep an eye out for any clues which could expose the identities of the Metro conspirators.”

“Honestly, it’s the least I can do,” exclaimed Simpson.

Simpson has achieved only minor success after expanding his investigation to include Metro. Although never a suspect, Bridgette Kerkove has been officially eliminated as a potential conspirator.

“You know what they say, if the baseball bat doesn’t fit, then you know it’s not Brid-gette,” joked OJ.

While much of Metro’s investigation has focused on a handful of employees who left the company to start Defiance Films, Simpson has discounted them as part of the conspiracy, instead he has directed his spies to expand surveillance of Metro’s CFO Les Rich.

“There is something fishy going on with Les. I mean, who the hell hires a money guy named Les Rich!,” exclaimed Simpson.

“That would be like me hiring Yur Guilty or Beth Penalty as my criminal defense attorney.”

Unlike the Nicole Brown and Ron Goldman murder case, with the average length of employment at Metro below 4 months, there are thousands of potential conspirators. Simpson admits he may never solve the case.


(Photo Courtesy of Matrix Content – The best source for 2257 compliant Adult Content on the internet.)
(See more of Gauge at Pornstar.com)

Gauge, Then and Now.

I sat down with Gauge’s former webmaster and we spoke for about an hour about her. I hope you like the interview!!!


TMFR: So when did you meet Gauge.
WEBMASTER: I met her in 2001. I was in NY and she was in LA. A mutual friend introduced us because she wanted a website.


TMFR: First impressions?
WEBMASTER: She was the best of the best. A 4’10 pack of dynamite. Brutally honest and sincere, beautiful, she could look sexy or sweet and if you looked at her the wrong way, a mean streak like no other.
TMFR: So, you built her site and it took off?
WEBMASTER: Ya, it took off because it was her first official website. There were a lot of "tribute" sites, but this was hers. She would write in her diary, she’d take pictures just for the site and she’d write back and forth to her fans. People really started to notice Gauge then and see her in a different light. Before her site, all people would think of is Gauge and Mojo and seeing her throwing up all the time. With the site I built her, we changes up and made her more glamorous.
TMFR: Didn’t you also manage her after that?
WEBMASTER: I wouldn’t say manage. By 2002 Gauge and I were best friends even though we lived on opposite coasts. It was basically all about trust. She trusted me, because I was always there for her and never had my hand in her pocket. Gauge had (has) major trust issues with people. She’s a very trusting person and people take advantage of that. She got screwed over more times than I could count. Agents ripped her off, friends stole money from her or borrowed things and never returned them. So she got to the point where she didn’t trust anyone. When she split with Mojo, he left her completely broke and he even sold all her clothes. That was bottom for her, she literally had nothing and she had to fight her way all the way back to the top. All I did was help her. I took all the calls, booked all her shoots, managed everything for her.
TMFR: That must have paid well because she was always working.
WEBMASTER: Na, I never took a dime from her. She collected all her own checks on set and put them all into her own bank. This was my best friend, how the hell could I charge her.
TMFR: Sounds like you two were pretty close.
WEBMASTER: We were, albeit our only communication was by phone or email.
TMFR: You guys never saw each other?
WEBMASTER: We saw each other a few times. She flew to NJ twice and I came out to LA. B ut not too much. I was wrapped up in her site and running Goliath, and she was busy shooting movies and content for her site.
TMFR: Any romance?
WEBMASTER: Na, I was married to my work and she was in a great new relationship with Jason (still together).
TMFR: Tell me about the time she was in jail. I heard her talk about it on Ksex.
WEBMASTER: Shit that was funny. She was in New Jersey with me to sign paperwork and for her to make any changes she wanted to her website. I left her at her hotel around 7PM, when we got to the lobby she noticed it was "free drinks" night in the bar. So she went to the bar and hung out. She didn’t get to sleep until very late. Next morning, she got a cab to Newark Airport and off to see her mom in Arkansas. On the plane she had a drink or two, and when she arrived in Arkansas she rented a car. I don’t know the details of what happened next, but what I do know is her car went off the side of the road and when the cops arrived she was a "tad bit" over the limit when she took a breathalyzer. Next call I get, expectinbg it to be from her moms house, was a collect call from a County Jail. She was freakin out!!!
When she finally went to court, the judge was some 3rd cousin if I remember right and he didn’t like Gauge’s side of the family. So she had a feeling he was going to throw the book at her. Ends up he was going to give her 6 months in jail!!
Again, she called me freakin out… so I sent a lawyer $5,000 to get her out!!!!
It took a few days because it was the weekend…. but the funny shit is this… by the following Monday when she called me, she had girls giving her their food, she had someone braiding her hair and doing her nails!! In just 72 hours Gauge was RUNNING the place!!!! Once the lawyer got back into court Gauge ended up getting her sentenced to be House Arrest.. so the drama ended there!!

TMFR: What the fuck!!! Give me 5K now dude in the event I have issues!!! Lets skip forward to you joining Metro and bringing Gauge with you.
WEBMASTER: When I started at Metro running their internet division things immediately changed with Gauge and I. Over the previous 18 months I was able to put her first, but Metro was such an overwhelming task that I could no longer do that. When I started at Metro their web division was in the negative, because they had sites up and running but they were NOT functional. And that means people would visit the site, see it was junk and then never go back. So my job was to not only rebuild the brand, but it was also to get back those people who had negative experiences at the Metro sites. In doing so, I spent less and less time with Gauge. Then Metro approached me and asked me about signing Gauge to a performance contract, plus taking over her website. So, Metro gave me a contract to propose to Gauge and I did. A few changes were made but eventually she signed it based on my word as her best friend. The deal called for her to receive a monthly salary plus a % of her websites revenues and all VHS, DVD and Toy sales originating from her site.
In the beginning everything seemed fine. She was happy because she was a contract girl and could do other things now. She was relentless on updating her website. BUT, we still didn’t get time to talk. Then things started to unravel.

Que? How so?
WEBMASTER: Well, she wasn’t working much. She wasn’t getting any calls from the office to shoot, or direct, or anything. She was suppose to do 3 or 4 scenes a month but no one called her to work and Gauge gets ansy so she was frustrated.

Fuck, I’m a contract girl now and I LOVE my schedule!! Wake up, smoke a bowl, work once a week, read email, update Lukeford, smoke another bowl!!
WEBMASTER: I think Gauge was pretty similar, but at least the company your with communicates with you. Metro put Gauge on the back burner and that infuriated her. They were pushing Britney Sky, Bridgette Kerkove and Ann Marie and Gauge was more popular than all of those girls combined but used the least and she felt disrespected.

She blamed you?
WEBMASTER: Ya, and I guess I am responsible. I brought her to Metro, and she came based on my word. Then I let her swim with the sharks (Les Rich) who basically played games with her day after day when it came to getting her website monies or even stats for her website. She hit a stone wall and was getting pissed. The one thing about Rich, he points the finger at everyone to divert the attention away from himself. And Gauge was resentful of me, and in all truth I deserve it !! She was my best friend and I simply stopped paying attention to her and she got screwed over and it hurt her career. Metro and Les Rich basically hurt her career.

What happeened when you took opver production at Metro?
WEBMASTER: Kenny gave me very explicit instruction on trying to smooth things over with Gauge. So I went to LA and met with her and her lawyer to see if we could get her back. The meeting went well and she took some time to think about it. THEN Les Rich decided to get involved again, and as soon as he did all discussions ended and we never heard from her again.
………….story in progress!!!


GigaCash 3-Year Anniversary Blowout!!! GigaFriday Sept. 30th, 2005

GigaCash will be celebrating its 3-year anniversary in its normal fashion on Friday Sept. 30th from 8PM to close at La Di Da in Beverly Hills, CA. It has been an amazing ride and we wanted to throw a Giga Event to mark the anniversary. Festivities will include the following: Sponsored by GigaCash, CECash and Matrix Content. Open Bar from 8PM to 10:30 PM, Featuring free food and appetizers as well. KSEX Radio will be in the house as a media sponsor as well as FUBAR and XBiz to cover the event. We have quite a few different model agencies bringing down some of their girls and guys for your viewing pleasure. La Di Da’s resident DJ will be in the house spinning some kick ass music for your listening pleasure. We will also have gift bags and other surprises for all that attend.

La Di Da is located at 8840 Beverly Blvd, West Hollywood, CA 90038. 310 492 0880 www.ladidarest.com

Valet Parking is available and recommended there is no cover charge for GigaFriday but it is a Private VIP event so you must RSVP bugbee@gigacash.com with you and your guest’s names. We are expecting a big turnout so get there early and take advantage of the free food and host bar. By the way the food is amazing and the drinks are stiff!!! So we will see you September 30th for GigaWho? GigaWhat? GigaFriday!!

Special thanks to CECash, Matrix Content, KSEX Radio, FUBAR Webmaster Adventures, XBiz World as well as many others that will make this night an event to remember. So RSVP and mark your calendars and come and eat and drink with some of your favorite people in the Adult Industry!

If you need a place to stay I recommend Hotel Sofitel in LA about two blocks from the venue (book ASAP) http://www.sofitel.com/sofitel/fich…che_hotel.shtml

Best regards and see you all soon!!!

Stephen Bugbee
ICQ# 258214660


Fayner Posts: Hundreds of animal victims from Hurricane Katrina have landed in Los Angeles looking for either temporary or perminant homes while their owners are looked for, and this seems like a golden opportunity for adult industry workers to give something back to the country that gives them so much.

I for one am looking into adopting one of the dogs left stranded in New Orleans, and suggest you do the same. Dogs and cats, unlike humans, never judge what you do for a living, and would love to meet you.

Contact http://www.aspca.org/site/PageServer for more information


Fayner Posts: For an internet porno writer guy, being friends with a guy like Trent Tesoro is like winning the Grand Rapids Senior Citizen Bingo Championship over that damn Bernice Willard and her seven-year streak and her peanut butter squares at the Church bake sale and her "everybody loves me" swagger.

Well, it would be equal to that if I hadn’t just made it up.

Seriously, Trent was one angry tornado of multiple drug insanity when he lived upstairs. And I was there for all of it.

But out of compassion I never spoke of his mayhem on this site, although many times when the sun was coming up and I was staring at a blank page I questioned whether I should tell the things I witnessed first-hand from Senor Tesoro and his out-of-control habits.

But I never went further than relaying the story Trent passed on to me about how he pulled out of his old girlfriend’s cunt and shot a load into the air and then right into his eager mouth. I considered my refusal to gossip about a man deep in the grasp of abuse a display of friendship, and I am quite proud of myself for the humanity I displayed despite the insanity.

Then this past June I read an interview Trent did with http://www.lukeisback.com/ in which he merrily disclosed some of the heavy drama which transpired those months he lived upstairs from me. Trent spoke of the time he tried to kill himself by taking everything out of the fridge—a bottle of vodka and a half eaten sandwich (remember, he was a cokehead)—and crawling inside. Taylor and his then-girlfriend Kate Kaptive found him soon after, and the crying got me up there where I saw him packed inside and laughed at his pathetic attempt at suicide. That was followed by Trent locking himself in the closet to hang himself ’cause he was too emotional from too many drugs and too little common sense. When I finally ripped the door open Trent kicked a crate he was standing on. If it wasn’t for the feeble light fixture and the string he had around his neck it could have been ugly. After laughing at him I left him sitting on the dirty floor of his closet to sulk with the girls. I’m not sure he recapped this part of the melee, but I do know that Taylor brought it up months later while chatting with Luke on the set of Spunk in the Trunk and I remember thinking I blew a golden opportunity to construct some great items by choosing to refrain from making them public.

But now pretty much it’s all  public domain, and I now wish to share the events which took place later that night just ’cause Trent burned me by picking another web site to recount the spectacle that was his existence instead of mine.

Taylor told Kate to come down to my place while she talked to Trent alone. Being a long-time heroin addict and all-around narcotic fan, Kate was even more of a debacle than Trent, and I found it as good a time as any to converse with the tiny whore about her dismal life and the future she’ll have packed with despair and handfuls of mystery pills if she kept it up. Not being on heroin for a couple of weeks, Kate became snappish with my calling her a junkie over and over again, as I’m told by those rehabilitated from heroin that once you’re hooked on junk you’re hooked for life, whether you do it or not. No escape.

Kate tells me her dad also became addicted to smack, and during our heart-to-heart I also referred to him as a junkie. Kate thanked me for my bluntness and lack of compassion, a thing she said she needed to counterattack all the people who treated her with kid gloves and benign babble in hopes that love would wake her from the lurid coma like some drug-addled version of Sleeping Beauty. People hooked lined and sinkered in damaging drugs need what is called "tough love." Believe me, I know, and that’s what I gave Kate.

She left, and Taylor came back down. Moments later I heard screaming outside, followed by a huge bang on my door. I got up and opened the door, only to find Trent rapt in fury and screaming "You called my girlfriend a Junkie I’ll fucking kill you!" while wielding a broken beer bottle towards me.

"But she is a junkie," I calmly stated, certain he wouldn’t attack me ’cause I could see he was easily being restrained by a 90 pound chick on nine xanax.

"I’ll kill you! I’ll kill you! I’ll kill you! I’ll kill you! I’ll kill you! I’ll kill you!"

I shut the door laughing. Later he came down to ask me for some cocaine.

Again, I shut the door laughing.

I am so glad Trent got out of LA for a while and cleaned up, but not nearly as glad from him double-crossing me and giving that killer gossip to one of my rivals which led to me getting to write all of this about him right now.

Love ya, Trent, but payback is a bitch.








(by Fayner)

Eve Lawrence has something which triggers my balls to seethe with delight. Could be her fierce rack. Could be her über-whore allure. Could be I’m just too lethargic to change the DVD.

Sure, Cindy Crawford got the cover of this flick, but we all know that the true star of Moist is really Cindy’s action-packed vagina, a scene-stealing live wire on the verge of ignition.

I don’t care how old Vicky Vette is, whether she’s 40 or 400, it don’t matter none ’cause the whore got a love for cock and the resources to make it surrender fat chunks of man chowder into her starving mouth on command. If there were more mature dick-hounds out there doing scenes as ferocious as Vicky does the streets would be paved in semen.

Muy calurosa, no? Una diosa ante carnal lujuria, Alexis Amore riendas suprema con desemparejada belleza y una enfangar actitud yo fruir! (I have no idea what I just said…)

Blonde jizz extractor Alexis Malone knows her way around a fat dick, but luckily for Cindy Crawford she also maneuvers quite well when presented with a sweet cunt to ravish. Two hot labia-lappers obsessed with providing oral ecstasy for one another is a good thing.

To Order Contact dean@platinumblueproductions.com
Toll Free: 866-353-0634
Office: 818-506-5660
Fax: 818-506-5866


Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, only really really really fast and confusing a whole bunch of times to the same person while sweating profusely, so help you GOD?


Thanks to Bald Steve for sending this along. It’s funny. And all this time I was wondering how the Gideons manage to afford all the Bibles they whiz around the country with in a quest to equip every damn motel room bedside drawer with a book chalk full of masturbation, incest, child abuse, genocide and Copropholia, the joy of shit!


Lara’s dog Zoe imitating TR when a cock is in reach

Fayner’s Sister Writes In: Hi Scottie:

It was so good to see you and spend time with you and Taylor on Nantucket- A nice wholesome family vacation on paradise.  And adding Taylor to mix only enhanced the edifying holiday. 

I was reminded as I landed in Austin and got in the car of the person who picked me up that I have an out of ordinary family life.  You see- the chap who I was dating before I left for Nantucket decided that dating me was far too different than his morals could handle and so he broke it off with me.  Apparently some of the things I wrote him via email the past week wigged him out.  Que Sera Sera.  The scenario also inspired some very funny “dramas’ in my head. 

Remember the evening when we sat down to eat lobster and instead of saying “grace” we passed a joint?  I immediately thought about this night and how if K.D.S. and I actually had made it to the point of forever, how our families would blend just so nicely.  As he sat in the car reminding me that he was “southern-Baptist” and I well, was from a family of very liberal parents, a brother in porn and a Jew to boot!  Well, the wedding reception would surely have been a hoot! 

So, I have never had an experience that brought something negative into my life because of your career choices. This would be a first.  And after spending all that time with Taylor, I couldn’t say a bad word about the young woman.  Her career choice is entirely hers and although it is very foreign to me, I don’t think less of her, or you because of the industry you work in.   What matters to me is the honesty, integrity, humor, intelligence and much-welcomed embrace that you both exhumed last week. 

Please extend my well wishes to Taylor and wish her well in her new business ventures.  As for you, I am sending all my love.

Zoë and I miss you and can’t wait to see you again soon.

Your sister,