WHO’S RACK IS THIS?

WHO’S RACK IS THIS?

Fayner Posts: Yummy chest, this picture above that you keep looking at while trying to read what I’m writing right now. It’s okay. We forgive you.

Real boob are nice. Fake boobs are too, but real boobs are nicer. It’s just how it goes. That’s not to say fake boobs make us sad. They don’t. They make us happy, but not as happy as real boobs like these above. I know, ’cause I’ve touched these boobs many times.

send guesses to faynerpornbiz@hotmail.com

Cooking Clash Of The Brash Titans

Finally!

THE FAYNER VS LOCKWOOD

Cooking Clash Of The Brash Titans

THIS FRIDAY NIGHT

August 26th @ King King

6555 Hollywood Blvd

Fayner Posts: Winner of this cook-off has bragging rights galore, and I refuse to be second-fiddle to anyone, even a stud pony such as Kurt. With trash talking going back and forth and back and forth and back and forth for months now since Kurt’s white chocolate cheesecake was applauded in the French Bon Appetit, I issued a challenge claiming my Peach Slobbler a la Fayner would blow his out of the fucking water. Kurt accepted.

So this Friday night, as my former band reunites for the second and last time as opener for Kurt’s 2005 Rock n’ Porn Birthday Blowout! show, we will present our pastries for judging. I’ve been honing my skills all week and expect to win.

Also, while on the subject, I must say that Kurt’s last show on June 11th also celebrated Kurt’s birthday, as does the show this weekend. Apparently Kurt has two birthdays.

Craven Moorehead’s sad tale about…

Craven Moorehead’s sad tale about Velvet Revolver drummer Matt Sorum

Too cheap to grab a taxi, Matt Sorum stands on Sunset hoping someone will recognize him and give him a lift home

Fayner Posts: Matt Sorum, if you don’t remember, is the louse who once managed my old band, then following our demise admittedly stole the only song I’ve ever written, modified it a bit and used it to win a Grammy this year with his band Velvet Revolver. Obviously I harbor some ill-will towards him, and with that relish every chance to share tales which belittle his ego.

Craven tells me he was recently at the new Rock Bar or whatever they call it which is co-owned by Dave Navarro, Sorum and some others, that was also attended by Menopausal rocker Matt Sorum.

When the night ended, Matt was given a tab for the drinks consumed at his table full of people knocking back expensive booze for several hours. Craven says Matt was suddenly screaming and bitching to the waitress about his highly discounted bill which totaled around $500. Reaping millions as a hired gun for the Cult and Guns N Roses, and now with Velvet Revolver, Matt apparently felt he deserved to be treated better with a lower tab ’cause he is a rock star.

Bitch Bitch Bitch Bitch Bitch went Mr. Sorum. Craven says it was embarrassing to watch.

Sorum eventually paid the bill, pocket change to him really, but left the waitress a whopping tip of zero dollars and zero cents.

That’s right. No tip. As if the waitress was at fault, right?

PORNSTAR OF THE WEEK – KATSUMI

Pornstar of the Week: As Taylor wrote last week, she will be highlighting a pornstar or two every week. She has left me instructions on this weeks PSOTW!!! To be followed by "Pornstar On The Rise" coming tomorrow!!!! And at the end of the week, we’ll have "Gone but Not Forgotten".

(note: if you have any suggestions as to who YOU think should be showcased as Pornstar of the Week, Pornstar on the Rise or Gone but Not Forgotten , email me at webmaster@lukeford.com. And if you’re a pornstar who would like to be considered for the spot and have your career jump in a big way with the exposure Lukeford.com brings, I’m available for bribes or oral favors, just email me and lets hook up!!!)

PORNSTAR OF THE WEEK – KATSUMI

KatsumiKatsumi Katsumi
KatsumiKatsumiKatsumi
KatsumiKatsumiKatsumi
Katsumi

Photos courtesy of Defiance Films.com and Torrid Entertainment.com
click here to buy all of Katsumi’s Videos, DVD’s and Toys

Taylor Rain Reigns Ebay, and Shy Luv Now Available by Auction!!

Just got a funny press release from Shy Luv’s publicist talking about how Shy has some great idea for an auction on ebay to spend 2 days with Shy Luv. WOW, what an original idea!!!!!!. Lukeford.com would like to offer the initial bid of 75 cents, because we need someone to clean up Bandits’s shit in the backyard. The lucky winner gets to hear all about her countless Degrees, our fingers are crossed!

 

 

Taylor Rain, Queen of Ebay
Auction started at $100, closes at $3,900 after 54 bids

It was an auction that made even the most hardcore Ebayer’s quiver at their keyboards. With so many hits to Taylor Rain’s auction page; one almost had to do a double-take to confirm the numbers. The final bids have been tallied and the auction ended at an astounding $3,900 after starting at one measly Benjamin.

When MALLcom and Defiance Films teamed up to auction off a trip to a Taylor Rain set, no one could have anticipated the tremendous response that was to follow. “In just seven days, Taylor ‘s auction page received over 5,300 hits," exclaimed a jubilant Keith O’Connor, Defiance Films’ Head of Production. “There were 54 bids. In my wildest dreams I never thought the bidding would reach almost four thousand bucks."

Reached on vacation in the Greek Isles and told of the auction’s success, MALLcom CEO Jerry Aharony almost choked on his stuffed grape leaves. “This auction was a huge winner. I’m happy we could offer this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for this lucky fan. I smell another Ebay auction soon so stay tuned!"

Remember, there is still one more grand prize to be given away. The contest remains open until Sept. 15th to any MALLcom customer that purchases a Defiance Films title, or whose order totals over $250. A MALLcom webmaster will receive a sweet prize for promoting the contest too; a soon-to-be-released Xbox 360. Both winners will be entered into a drawing to receive their respective prizes.

Defiance Films has literally burst onto the scene in just a few short months and is already gaining a reputation for giving the fans what they crave. Defiance combines high end production values, unique locations, the hottest pornstars and the nastiest sex into one stellar package. Be sure to check out " Deviant Tits" starring Rita Faltoyano and " Teenage Dreamin" with Dani Woodward and Tory Lane coming soon from Defiance Films.

Be sure to check out DefianceFilms.com and MALLcom.com in the coming months for an exclusive look at this lucky fan’s ultimate porn vacation.

#####

For more information about MALLcom please contact Public Relations Manager, Steve J. at 516-671-6781 x.17 or steve@mallcom.com

For more information about Defiance Films please contact Director of Production, Keith O’Connor at 818-577-4575 x.402 or keith@defiancefilms.com

For sales information contact Head of Sales, Anthony Simone at 818-577-4575 ext 400 or anthony@defiancefilms.com

When reached on her cruise for comment Taylor said "dude, i can’t see any land"

Stop the Press!! Breaking News!

PRESS RELEASE: CORINA TAYLOR Next Weekend In Chicago – AZ to have a Corona with Corina. Adult superstar and MK ViXXXen Corina Taylor will be in Chicago to attend Glamour Con www.glamourcon.com with MK Founder/Publisher Alex Zander www.mk-magazine.com on Sat and Sun Aug 27 and 28. Corina who has made a lot of mainstream press as of late due to her link to actor Jared Leto has also been on the Howard Stern show a few times over the past year. MK fans may remember her from the faux adult feature Alex Zanders "50 First Fucks". A soft-spoken and shy little beauty, Corina is a family girl who is very close to her mother, who is proud of her accomplishments in the adult industry. She is a new mother to a beautiful baby girl as of last spring and in school full time. She has also served as the inspiration for Monster Magnet’s Dave Wyndorf and the rest of the band. The Little Rock native and adult film star made her debut in the bands latest video Unbroken (Hotel Baby). The 24 year old Arkansas beauty was tabbed by the band after she was asked by them after seeing her pictures on the internet. After a couple of days of shooting with the band, Corina Taylor found herself enjoying the switch to music videos from adult videos. See more of corina at www.corinataylor.net and www. groups.yahoo.com/group/corinataylormail    The site www. clubcorina.com is coming soon.

PRESS RELEASE: Rockstarz Films has officially wrapped production on F.I.L.T.H. Hunters, the first feature from producer Sammy Rockstarz.  Written and directed by newcomer Eden Paige, Hunters has hardcore action from a female perspective.  Why does Paige choose the adult genre showcase her skills?  "I look at it as a film genre like any other," she says. Paige continues breaking stereotypes by  "finding softcore fluff to be boring, I’m of the belief that if it’s not something I would be turned on by, then it’s a waste of my time making it."

A similar approach is taken by Rockstarz Films producer Sammy Rockstarz,"I like hot chicks who do the nastiest hardcore action, " he says, "but it’s the storylines and action in films by Nic Andrews and Jules Jordan that really showcase the talents of today’s hot adult performers." 

Featuring an all-star cast of rising starlets and industry superstars, F.I.L.T.H. Hunters tells the story of Nikki (Mandy Taylor), who misses being with men, but her girlfriend, Ella (Hailey Young), wants nothing to do with them. James (Barrett Blade) is bored with his 9 to 5 life and his picket-fence family. Sophia (Violet Blue) and her husband Frank (Tyler Durden) have lost the spark in their love life. But all that is about to change.?F.I.L.T.H. Hunters proves sometimes you just have to take life by the cock and fuck it.

Sammy Rockstarz founded Rockstarz Films in 2004, at first producing low-budget gonzo films for his clientele. However, Sammy became inspired by adult feature films that highlighted good acting and slick production value; so he decided to raise the bar a notch by adding mainstream flair. Rockstarz Films has begun to produce adult features that have the driving storyline and 70’s feel, yet incorporating the hardcore element.

F.I.L.T.H. Hunters is slated for release September 30th.

Check out the F.I.L.T.H. Hunters trailer at www.rockstarzfilms.com .  For more information for sales, distribution, and general inquiries, please contact Amelia at info@rockstarzfilms.com.

Our leader Taylor Rain is away on vacation, she’s cruising right now!!!!!! So the duties of bringing you breaking news and insider BS from the industry will be in the hands of myself, Noodles Malow and Fayner. However, don’t expect a lot from Fayner as this week he’ll have his hands full babysitting his own dog and Taylor’s dog Bandit!!! So, let the madness begin!!!

BREAKING NEWS: I was carjacked Saturday. Some guy tried to jack my hoopdie straight out of the Wendy’s drive thru on DeSoto!!! I got 9 stab wounds in my neck and 3 gunshot wounds, however as soon as he took my Biggie Fries, I went nuts and kicked his ass!!!

Win 2 Days On Set with Taylor Rain: You MUST be shiitin me!!!!!!!! The bidding on this auction is up to $3,900.00 with under 1 hour left. Reached on vacation in Greece, Mallcom owner Jerry Aharony almost choked on his stuffed grape leaves.."almost 4k."

Spunk In The Trunk: Last Friday Taylor Rain and her incredible crew headed by her boyfriend Sepian wrapped the shooting of this ANAL CREAM PIE movie, Spunk In The Trunk, for Defiance Films. Fun was had by all!!! The movie starred Missy Monroe, Deja Daire, Kaylani Lei, Naudia Nyce and Julie Knight!!! You can read a full On The Set Report from Gene Ross. Check out the happy faces on the crew!!

The Crew of Spunk In The Trunk Directed by Taylor Rain

Expect some great Behind The Scenes photos from this title uploaded today!!!

Interviews From Beyond, Multicultural Flicks, and Violence!

NICK MANNING STABBED!!!! BREAKING NEWS FROM LUKEFORD.COM

EMAIL FROM NICK MANNINGS ROOM MATE CHRIS H: Nick Manning, adult film star and co-owner of Platinum Blue Productions, was stabbed in the face and neck, narrowly missing his jugular, by a would-be car-jacker in Sherman Oaks Thursday afternoon on Ventura Boulevard . Manning was on his way to appear on a radio show hosted by the Coors Light Twins when he was attacked while sitting in his car on the phone at a bank parking lot.

After being stabbed, a struggle outside of the vehicle ensued between Manning and the perpetrator. Police arrived on the scene and the perpetrator was taken away via ambulance to an un-disclosed hospital.

Manning was tended to by his personal physician and released later in the afternoon with stitches in his face and neck. “Another inch and this would have been a potentially deadly situation”, said Manning’s physician. Manning was unavailable for comment

 

 

Fayner channels the ghost of (the original) Savanna for this beyond-the-grave

Q & A!

(WARNING: The following interview lacks taste, respect and good judgment, but is loaded with distaste, disrespect and poor judgment. Hate mail can be sent to faynerpornbiz@hotmail.com )

Fayner: Hi there.

Savanna: Hello.

Fayner: So you’re dead. How’s that working for you?

Savanna: Well, the room service is bad.

Fayner: I’ve heard that about Heaven.

Savanna: Who said I’m in Heaven?

Fayner: I just assumed. Sorry. So, you’re in Hell?

Savanna: Naw, I’m just joking with you.

Fayner: You should have been a comedian instead of a dick disposal.

Savanna: You think so?

Fayner: Naw, I’m just joking with you. You’re actually about as funny as a shotgun blast through the head. Oh, wait, I’m sorry.

Savanna: Sorry about what?

Fayner: You blew your head off. Remember?

Savanna: I was never that bright, you know? Some things I forget.

Fayner: If you don’t remember killing yourself, maybe you can share something that you do recall about your last life?

Savanna: Vince Neil was a terrible fuck! I tried to warn Janine about him, but then I remembered I’m dead and can’t talk to the living. I thought that by bribing Angels to go down to Earth and make him jump up and down on a bed wearing tighty-whiteys Janine would have seen the light, so to speak, but she didn’t. A little known fact is that Alfred Hitchcock actually was the one who videotaped that whole sex tape between Janine and Vince Neil under his pseudonym A. BitchCock, although credit was somehow omitted.

Fayner: That would have earned you your wings if you stopped that!

Savanna: Freddy Mercury from Queen still teases me about fucking that one up.

Fayner: Does he still love cock?

Savanna: The only thing Freddy wears around Heaven is a holster with a big, throbbing cock on each side, looking for a Western Showdown to join.

Fayner: More than I needed to know. So, there’s no point in asking what you were thinking by killing yourself after crashing your car and getting your face all uglied up?

Savanna: No. I don’t remember that.

Fayner: Really? It was all over the news.

Savanna: I must have missed it. Sorry.

Fayner: You could have just got a job doing phone sex if you’re face was that torn up. Death is never the answer.

Savanna: You’ve lost me.

Fayner: Fine. If you could come back to Earth and do it all over again, would you at least look like you’re having a good time in your porno videos? I can’t believe your dead fish routine made you a star. If I was reporting back then, I’d have surely bitched you out for doing crappy scenes. Damn!

Savanna: I like butterscotch.

Fayner: Why, ’cause butterscotch is smarter than you?

Savanna: No, silly! Because butterscotch goes on ice cream.

Fayner: I didn’t know that.

Savanna: It’s true!

Fayner: Listen, can you ask Jesus to strike down George Bush for me?

Savanna: I would, but Jesus is deaf. Keith Moon from The Who blew up a drum set next to his ear last year and now he can’t hear. Those were dreadful times, I tell you.

Fayner: How so?

Savanna: Try teaching sign language to the Son of God after his Ritalin prescription was stopped. I’d rather take a shotgun blast through the head then go through that again!

Fayner: You did take a shotgun blast through the head.

Savanna: I did?

Fayner: Yeah, right after they cancelled Benson. You loved that show.

Savanna: Black guys are funny.

Fayner: Here’s a joke for you: A dumb dead porno star says what?

Savanna: What?

Fayner: Okay. We’re done here.

Savanna: Finally! Hey, I can send you my latest headshot if you want. Let me know.

 

 

*Bush pic courtesy of www.ralphsteadman.com

Fayner Posts: I guess I can now share with you why I’m no longer friends with Ashley Blue.

I’ve known Ashley pretty much since she entered the porno business with then-boyfriend Trent Tesoro back in 2001 or 2002 ("I can’t remember exactly," Trent told me when I asked for an exact date. "You know how many drugs I’ve taken since then?"  ed not: we do!). Back then Ash was a card-carrying sweetheart, and we became very good friends. As with all my porno chick friends, I did my best at Hustler and LukeFord.com to promote Ashley as a top-notch smut slut in exchange for nothing. That’s what friends are for.

Through the breakup with Trent and the now-defunct romance with Jonni Darkko, I remained a friend to Ash, despite also being buds with both guys.

I refuse to speculate about the wheeling and dealing and/or kneeling which led to Ashley winning 2004’s AVN Female Performer of the Year, but the result of her award is hard to ignore.

It’s hard to pinpoint the exact moment Ashley turned from card-carrying sweetheart to the egotistically holier-than-thou biatch she’s become, and to try would just aid in her belief that she truly is the Cat’s Meow. All I can say is when my calls and phone messages to Ashley remained unanswered for days then weeks then months I got the feeling I was being blown off.

It sucks when you lose a friend. It really sucks when that friend is a porno "star" and your friendship ends ’cause they feel that they’re better than you (and although I’ve never been told this by Ashley or anyone else she still deems worthy of her greatness, it’s too obvious to ignore). Now, regardless of my privileged background, college degree and success as a writer, I’ve never deemed myself better than anyone. Ever. And when someone in my life is not wanted, for whatever reason, I pride myself in being respectful enough to tell them we can no longer be friends. But when someone like Ashley, a girl who accepts dick on film for money believes she is too good for me and hasn’t the gonads to confront me about it, I get pissed off. And when I get pissed off, I write about it. Call it my healing process, call it revenge, call it what you will; any way you look at it, it’s something I can not ignore.

Those lucky enough to still be member of Ashley’s special club may read this in disbelief. I know I would if I hadn’t been dismissed as her chum. But the countless emails and calls I receive asking if I know where she is and if she is okay and why hasn’t she returned calls for months speak for themselves, and what they are saying none of these people want to hear.

And what I tell these concerned people who feel abandoned by Ashley Blue is simple and quick and to the point.

Ashley Blue is better than you.

WE KILLED 180,000 JAPANESE 60 YEARS AGO, AND YET THEY STILL GIVE US THIS

www.adultsourcemedia.com

In this school the teachers are only too willing to teach the girls how to really get ahead. Our little schoolgirl is doing poorly and needs help with her grades. And our teachers are there to help — but they have special courses of their own in mind! Watch her as she progresses through a grueling day of lessons which leave her dripping wet! Learning the art of self-pleasure as she tackles Masturbation 101. Sex with women can be just as entertaining in Lesbian Linguistics! SM/Bondage class and finally rounds out the day with Sex in History class – where she’s drilled over and over again!

  • To Order Contact Wendy Crawford:
  • By E-mail sales@adultsourcemedia.com
    By Fax 818-882-1671
    By Phone 818-882-1651

     

    Defiance Films’ Latin Obsession is a Sizzling Hot Fucking Fiesta!


    Latin Obsession starring Ice LaFoxxx and Persia DeCarlo

    Another hot new high definition release produced by Defiance Films and directed by Vincent Voss , ‘ Latin Obsession ‘ is receiving an overwhelming response as the demand for this niche title surpasses our expectations. Appealing to the spicy Latin loving audience, this cock sucking, cum loving, clit licking, pussy and anal pounding action is not one to be missed! Click Here to View the Photo Gallery and High Def Trailer .

    Featuring an extraordinary cast of the most beautiful Latin girls, including Persia DeCarlo and Ice LaFoxxx , team up with studs Lee Stone, Alex Sanders and more, engage in 5 sizzling scenes that will leave you throbbing for days! Just the way you like it – these girls are the nastiest sluts who lust for the raunchiest fucks with no holes barred. Explosive scenes consisting of boy/girl, girl/girl, and hot threesome action, including seriously deep anal exploration with tongues, fingers and cocks, ATM, pussy drilling, gagging deep throat dick sucking, facials, vigorous dildo shoving into juicy Latino pussies, and of course, tons of squirting hot jiz!

    Don’t miss out on all the hardcore Latin action. It’s an Obsession! This high-end gonzo DVD includes behind the scenes footage, a photo gallery , trailers , web access , and interviews , all packaged in eye-catching foiled box art.

    Available Now ! To order Latin Obsession and other Defiance Films titles, contact Anthony Simone at 818-577-4575, ext. 400 or via email at Anthony@defiancefilms.com .

    Be sure to visit our website at www.defiancefilms.com for the latest information on upcoming releases and to check out the high definition trailers, along with an added bonus feature of clicking on any performer’s name to download their photo. 2257 compliance information for every title released by Defiance Films is also readily available for immediate download.

    All movies produced by Defiance Films are shot in high definition with the raunchiest hardcore scenes, the most beautiful talent and highest quality footage. All Defiance titles are presented in Widescreen Format 16..9 as well as in Dolby Digital Sound

    For production information, or to be considered for a role in an upcoming Defiance title, contact Keith O’Connor at 818-577-4575 ext 402

    For production contact keith@defiancefilms.com 818-577-4575 ext402
    For sales contact anthony@defiancefilms.com 818-577-4575 ext400

     

    A QUICKIE WITH TRENT TESORO

    (…a quickie conversation, that is…)

    Fayner Posts: I called Trent to ask him about when he and Ashley Blue entered the business (drugs caused him to not know), but instead got this…

    Fayner: Okay, so I hear from www.lukeisback.com that your new chick is now doing porno. Do you at east know when she entered the business? I’ll give you a hint: It’s August 2005.

    Trent: You’re a dick!

    Fayner: The best part about the story was how you said you’re "two peas in a pod" ’cause she’s so much like a guy. Basically, you’re admitting you’re a fag. Classic!

    Trent: That’s not what I said! I was misquoted!

    Fayner: Luke doesn’t misquote. You love cock.

    Trent: Whatever. Should we come over? We’ll bring milk and cookies.

    Fayner: I’d rather you didn’t.

    Trent: We found the best cookies. The peanut butter ones are the best in the world!

    Fayner: Dude, you like putting peanut butter on cock and eating it. I gotta go.

    Trent: Are you gonna write about this?

    Fayner: Would I do that to a friend?