MY FIRST DAY OF COLLEGE

Yesterday i showed up to school but it was the wrong day!!! ha!ha!ha! only taylor rain would show up the day before her real class started. i was so disappiontted because i was so excited, nervous, and dumb about going to school and i was thinking i have to do the same thing tomorrow? and i did!

today i wanted to get pulled over for having a truck on airbags, or have a tire blow. i really wanted a good accuse for not going but i didnt. i really didnt want to disappiont myself and others.

i was pretty nervous to pull in to the student parking lot. oh by the way its at a high school in the valley. kids are getting out of school and im going to school. weird! all the photography classes at pierce college were full. so i said fuck it i will go back to high school! (no smoking on campus
BULLSHIT!)

pull in next to the gym where kids are out doing stuff! im bumpin pennywise and hittin switches. TMFR  STYLE! get out of my truck and smoke is pouring out and i smell like fuckin skunk.  thats right i went to school HIGH! WHAT?

so i roll into class 10 minutes late and he is already into a lecture. i took a seat and some guy gave me his notes and said your book is under your desk. thanks i said. start copying notes and trying to write notes that the teacher is saying "this will on your final!" i caught up and 5 pages later class was practically over. went to the lab where we will be delevolping our film.

my first day at school was awesome! im down to take a few hours out of week to learn some shit about photography! more updates about school next week! HOLLA!

TMFR
OWNER, WRITER, AND EDITOR

YOU CAN TAKE THE PORN CHICK OUT OF OKLAHOMA, BUT YOU CAN’T TAKE THE OKLAHOMA OUT OF THE PORN CHICK

When the Oakies left Oklahoma and moved to California, it raised the I.Q. of both states.
Will Rogers

FAYNER Posts: Playing phone tag with the stupendously sultry sex siren Jesse Jane makes me sad. I love that damn girl, but not in the “man I would love to douse her face with ball batter” way most men do. Well, not anymore. I used to though, but she’s the kind of chick that once you get to know her and spend time with her flying back from Vegas while sitting next to Mr. Belding from Saved By The Bell you forget how you desperately want to plow her from behind and just see her as the kick-ass Oklahoma Girl who’s goofy and loyal and a pleasure to be around for long periods of time.
So I finally got her on the phone today, as she was getting ready for bed at her home in Oklahoma, and had an unrecorded “interview” that went something like this…

FAYNER Just wanted to know if you’re freaking out yet about getting married to Rick Patrick in like a month and a half? I know that I was when Taylor and I got married. Sure, I ate a piece of pizza with crystal meth on it three hours before the ceremony, but at the time I thought we’d last longer than two months and had I eaten that week I’d of shit my pants in fear of what marriage brings.

JANE No, I’m not freaking out. I just want to get it over with already. It is a bit stressful, though, ‘cause we basically live 2000 miles apart from each other. I think I just need to get laid!

FAYNER Are you planning on sewing your wild oats one last time before taking the plunge?

JANE I would, but you’re good friends with Rick.

FAYNER I understand. But you can always pleasure yourself while thinking of me…

JANE Not today, ‘cause I already did it four times!

FAYNER You’re lying.

JANE No I’m not. I was real bored.

FAYNER Do you use toys or your fingers?

JANE Mostly just fingers. I did use my pink pocket rocket once today just to switch it up.

FAYNER I usually go lefty on Monday, Wednesday and Friday just to spice it up a bit. So, one must ask what the girl so many men fantasize about thinks of when she needs a fix?

JANE Usually just a really hot girl.

FAYNER And…

JANE And what?

FAYNER And Fayner.

JANE  Oh yeah, and Fayner.

FAYNER Thanks. So, is Barrett still marrying you guys?

JANE Of course! We want to dress him up like a priest!

FAYNER And who are the Bridesmaids?

JANE Kirsten Price and August.

FAYNER Guess I won’t be getting a Bridesmaid in bed. But I’d love to see people’s reaction if they see Barrett dressed like a Priest making out with a porno chick. You should keep your son away from him, though, ‘cause Priest’s have a sweet tooth for young boys.

JANE Shut up! So, how was your vacation in Nantucket?

FAYNER Fucking great. Lobster and steak and swimming in the ocean every day is quite a change from my normal routine.

JANE Ocean? Isn’t Nantucket in Kentucky?

FAYNER Are you serious?

JANE Yeah. It is in Kentucky, right?

FAYNER Sure, my Jewish family and I all get together every year for a week in Kentucky. You’ve been riding your tractor in the hot sun for too long and fried your brain. Now I’m scared, ‘cause that leaves Rick being the smart one in your relationship. GOD help us all!

JANE I think my son has him beat!

FAYNER How old is he?

JANE Five.

FAYNER Yep, he’s smarter than Rick. Does he have his driver’s permit yet?

JANE He’s only five!!

FAYNER Yes, but all them Midwestern states let kids drive so early so they can drive tractors and cotton pickers and combines and crop shredders and crop balers on the farm, right?

JANE  What’s wrong with you?

FAYNER  Tons.

JANE You know, I have a John Deere riding mower!

FAYNER  Really? That is so fucking hot! You have to get me a picture for the site of you mowing the lawn naked on that thing.

JANE Okay, I’ll get right on it.

UPCOMING NEW JERSEY ADULT EXPO MYSTERIOUSLY CANCELLED AMIDST HEAVY COMMUNITY UPROAR

Fayner Posts: Seems like just yesterday I was venting about how our freedom is being challenged on all fronts within our alleged "free" country. Oh yeah, it was yesterday.

All I’m gonna say today is it seems silly to be fighting a war thousands of miles away in the name of freedom when it’s being threatened right in our own backyard.

People have the right to assemble, no matter how unpopular their purpose is, and trying to deny that is evil. Protest it all you want, but let it ride. Shit, it’s the American Way!

 

From www.recordonline.com:  

Town of Wallkill – For two days this month, the Orange County Fairgrounds was scheduled to become an adult bookstore.

During an event called the "Adult Expo," shoppers would pay $10 each to peruse booths of porn videos, "novelties," lingerie, magazines and other items.

But yesterday, fairgrounds manager Michael Gurda said the event, originally scheduled for Sept. 24-25, had been canceled. He would not say why.

"The person who is renting the arena is canceling the show," Gurda said. "I’m not exactly sure of the details." 

Robert Barlow, owner of Tri-State Fairs, the show’s promoter, did not respond to repeated phone calls.

But a secretary at the Oldwick, N.J., company said yesterday that the firm received a phone call from someone at the Orange County Fairgrounds saying the show would have to be canceled. She declined to say who had called or why her company was pressured to back out of the event.

The show, which has been promoted on several billboards throughout the county, including two on Route 17, would have been TriState’s first adult-oriented event, she said. In the past, the company has held similar shows selling computer products.

The expo’s Web site, and the Orange County billboards that promoted the event, showed a semi-clothed couple playfully cuddled on a bed.

In addition, a vendor contract on the site stipulated that the show’s participants refrain from displaying child porn, bestiality or the "killing or dismemberment of humans or animals."

Shortly before 4 p.m. yesterday, the Web site changed: "Show canceled."

Although it was unclear why TriState backed out of the Adult Expo, the prospect of a porn show at the privately owned fairgrounds had clearly mortified community leaders.

On Wednesday, Ed Grant, the pastor of Family of Faith Lutheran Church in Scotchtown, threatened to organize a group to picket the event. He also suggested a boycott of the fairgrounds.

Town of Wallkill Councilman Eric Valentin, who alerted his fellow board members to the expo Wednesday evening and contacted the town’s code enforcement officer, said authorities were "pretty much in shock."

"It’s not how we envision Wallkill," said Valentin, who referred to the expo as a "portable red-light district."

Still, Valentin said Thursday that he did not know why the show was canceled.

"I was just amazed by how many people did not know about it," he said.

"Am I happy it’s not happening? I’m happy. I have to be honest."

FOR YOUR EYES ONLY? HE FUCKING WISHES…

Fayner Posts: David Anderson, an Englishman who worked as Assistant Director on classic mainstream movies such as The Deer Hunter and James Bond’s Dr. No and From Russia with Love, obviously knowing he was screwed royally (no pun intended), escaped from the Gloucester Crown Court in England on Tuesday during a break from the trial in which he was accused of asking two young women he was having sex with on tape to set up a meeting between him and a 13 year old girl, the tape of which was stolen from his home and brought to authorities who raided the 64 year old Anderson’s home and discovered tapes of him engaging in sexual acts with another 13 year old he claimed was a junkie prostitute that was screen-testing for a role in a porno movie he was shooting.

(whew! I just wrote that whole paragraph in one sentence!)

The jury found Anderson guilty on all charges like he obviously predicted, because authorities in England believe he fled the country, quite possibly to Canada where he has family.

If one couldn’t guess Anderson had serious issues before, the fact that he may have run off to the shitpile known as Canada surely proves him a man two maple syrup bottles short of a Canuck.

Thanks to www.contactmusic.com for the story.

TONY TESTA GETS CHLAMYDIA AFTER FUCKING HOOKER IN EUROPE

http://www.hardcoregossip.com/

Fayner Posts: Industry web veteran Tony Testa emailed me today from Europe.

"Listen, I need you to go to my doctor’s office and pick up a prescription for me. I fucked a hooker and got the CLAP! Here’s my address over here. Send ASAP! And dont tell anyone about this!!!""

To which I responded

"Dumbass! You should have stuck to beating off to tranny movies. Did I mention you’re a dumbass?"

I thought about sending him the flu medicine I have in my bathroom cabinet, but instead chose to do nothing and tell him I’d get right on it.

SHOW ME AN 11TH GRADE STRAIGHT CHICK IN AMERICA WHO HASN’T SUCKED COCK AND I’LL SHOW YOU AN 11TH GRADE STRAIGHT CHICK IN AMERICA WITHOUT A MOUTH!


 We all know that books burn, yet we have the greater knowledge that books cannot be killed by fire. People die, but books never die.
Franklin D. Roosevelt

 

Fayner Posts: Censorship of any kind (except child porn) is inexcusable in this country. As a free nation, we should be able to get access to anything that tickles our fancy, whether it be racist propaganda, Meth recipes or videos of dogs being brutally beaten for fun. Unpopular these things may be, but their sheer presence in our society is what we’re supposedly fighting a war to preserve.

Where is my present anger stemming from, you may ask?

Check out http://www.local6.com/news/4968965/detail.html to read about a book about the historical events of 1940s India through the eyes of a young girl is being challenged by a Florida high school because of references to oral sex.

But our right to decide for ourselves what we want and should be allowed to enjoy is always being challenged, sometimes even denied. Powerful lawmakers have taken it into their own hands to change the rules as they see fit.

Some examples

In June 1997, George W. Bush signs into law a rider that requires state pension funds to divest any assets that are invested in record companies that produce "obscene" albums in hopes of censoring what music we are allowed to listen to.

In October 1985, President Ronald Reagan said that "reactionary" and "obscene" rock music should not deserve Constitutional protection. "I don’t believe that our Founding Fathers ever intended to create a nation where the rights of pornographers would take precedence over the rights of parents, and the violent and malevolent would be given free rein to prey upon our children."

2001 saw Clinton’s designation of June as Gay Pride Month being nixed by new Prez
Bush, as was in 2004 an annual event celebrating "gay pride month" at the Department
of Justice’s Pennsylvania Avenueheadquarters despite signing proclamations designating Black History Month, Women’s History Month and Irish-American Heritage Month.

Here are some books found at http://www.forbiddenlibrary.com that have either been banned or challenged by US school committees, along with the reasons, because of their unpopular content, that which to this day are still protected by the US Constitution as free speech and should be allowed—rather, required—reading for everyone based solely on merit alone…not to mention their status as either fantastic stories or important works…

The Adventures of Tom Sawyerracially charged language”

Anne Frank: The Diary of a Young Girl.sexually offensive passages.” "real downer."

Catcher in the Rye"anti-Christian." "profanity, reference to suicide, vulgarity, disrespect, and anti-Christian sentiments."

Zen Buddhism: Selected Writings.  "this book details the teachings of the religion of Buddhism in such a way that the reader could very likely embrace its teachings and choose this as his religion."

Grapes of Wrath "vulgar words”  “uses the name of God and Jesus in a ‘vain and profane manner along with inappropriate sexual references.’"

Our own beloved porn business has also found itself under attack, from that bitch Seymore Butts to Larry Flynt (read http://wired-vig.wired.com/news/privacy/0,1848,62343,00.html), and will continue until our right to choose is upheld to the fullest extent of the law, which is pretty much when the right-wing nazi’s no longer control congress.

I SHOULD HAVE STAYED IN NANTUCKET

ON THE PLANE TMFR POSTS:

Scott and I wake up at 8 in the morning and wished we never did. We had to fly into Hyanass airport in Cape Cod and then rent a car!!! Not to forget Scott went out last night till 4 in the morning drinking mind erasers.

So we arrive to the cape and get white trash breakfast because we all miss it so much. We passed McDonald’s screaming “WAY TO GO MOM”. Then we see burger king “STOP HERE MOM BEFORE YOU GET ON THE HIGHWAY”. “OK KIDS” says mom.
Now are bellies are full of fast food Scott and I pass out in the back with Jessie (the dawg).

Screaming from the front seat “IS NIKKI AWAKE?” “NO MOM” SAYS LARA. “LEAVE HER ALONE SHES SLEEPING.” I jump up whats up? MOM SAYS, “ WERE IN BOSTON”. LARA SAYS “GO BACK TO SLEEP THERES JUST THREE BUILDINGS AND A BUNCH OF CONTRUCTION.” OK. So I get up and start taking picture of the beautiful city.

Picture this we go into his mother’s alley where her car should be. Not there!!!! This is where the mayhem starts! Scotts ready to jump out of the rent car because he just doesn’t want to deal with life. Anyways she thinks someone stole it or got towed. It got towed because one of her workers parked in the wrong spot.
So we are having lunch in Boston next to Scotts mom store and we order food and relax a little.

Oh in the mean time well we are waiting for lunch to arrive. Scott is trying to book a flight A.S.AP. He got a flight for tomorrow instead of Monday night flight. Tomorrow I pick him up at the airport at 5:00pm LAX. Anyone that wants to pick him up e-mail me! PLEASE!!! Back to lunch it was delicious and hit the spot for me. Scott looked liked he wasn’t very happy even after lunch.  He looked like he needed.  A)  to see his dog. B) To do a fat line of coke off some porn stars tit or C) wanted to go home to fuckin LA!

Scott’s mom is very sweet and harmless but 7 days too long. We got done with lunch and went to her store and I bought I few things to make her happy. Then Scott and I went on our own and headed into fumeal hall. Where we can get the best cookies EVER! This is what I was told by Scott and Keith. By this time its 3:30 and I have to be at the airport between 4 and 4:20! And Scotts lost because of the extreme construction that they are doing in Boston. But I was impressed Scott got me to the airport around 3:45 and we were at the famous cookie store. HOLLA! We get every kind a dozen each. They are pretty fuckin good!

He was telling me that this was going to be the worst night ever. First, let me remind you he had lunch at 3:00pm. He said FUCK I JUST WANT TO LEAVE. I’ve been here way to long miss my dog. I just had lunch and I have to go to dinner at 6:00pm. He kept repeating DINNER AT 6, DINNER AT 6… WHO EATS AT 6? THEN WE ARE GOING TO INDIA FOOD THAT’S EVEN FUCKIN WORSE AND ALL GIRLS. Scotts pissed! Scott again “THEN I AM LEAVING A DAY EARLIER BUT ITS COSTING ME 160 TO CHANGE IT.” Scott was not having a good day! Also he had to deal with our luggage and us. 

Plus he had to get TMFR to the airport. I can totally see why he’s stressed.

The real reason is because he’s want to do a huge line of cocaine! I want to go home to my dog and all my bongs! HOLLA!

TMFR