Category Archives: Pornstar News

HOW CUTE CAN YOU GET??

Fayner Posts: Woke up yesterday and walked across the street to check out the latest installment of Tits Ahoy by Third Degree being shot.

Actually, and truthfuly, I just wanted a free lunch. A free peek at Lisa Ann getting pounded, too.

A brand-spankin’ new 5 Series BMW was sitting in the driveway, all shiny and look-at-me-I’m-so-fucking-new-and-cool.

“Who’s car is this?” I asked Travis the PM/PA/Sperm cleaner-uper.

“It’s Quasar’s new car.”

“Lucky son of a bitch. So this is what you drive when you’re not spending your life chsing after porno chicks and doing bag after bag after bag of expensive drugs?”

“Pretty much.”

I was as jealous as a man can be. Until….

I soon found out that Quasar’s former partner Michael Adam just bought the same damn car.

Then I just felt queasy.

I men, how gay is it when two guys people having been calling a gay couple for years now go out and buy the exact same fucking car?

Gay.

That’s the answer.

ANOTHER PORNO STARLET THROWS HERSELF AT WINSTON BURBANK…TO WHICH HE RESPONDS BY RUNNING AWAY!!!

 

 

ON THE SET WITH BARRETT BLADE’S NEWEST MOVIE FOR MAYHEM, BACK-IN-ACTION TORY LANE JUST HAD TO FIND OUT WHAT ALL THE HUB-BUB WAS ABOUT INSIDE WINSTON AKA NATHAN’S PANTS. WINSTON REFUSED TO WHIP IT OUT. TORY TOOK MATTERS INTO HER OWN HANDS

 

RIGHT NOW NATHAN IS THINKING ABOUT WHAT HE COULD DO WITH THE $3 STUFFED IN TORY’S G-STRING. SOME CAMBELL’S CHICKEN SOUP PERHAPS? HOW ‘BOUT THIS, NATHAN? PUT YOUR FUCKING BIG DICK IN HER FUCKING MOUTH!!!!!!! DAMMIT!!!!!

 

 

PLEASE CAN I TAKE IT OUT AND PUT IT IN MY MOUTH? TORY ASKS. WINSTON GETS ALL RED AND FLUSHED, POLIETLY DECLINED. IN OTHER WINSTON BURBANK NEWS, SHOOT PHOTOGRAPHER NICOLE SHERIDAN INFORMED THE YOUNG STUD THAT SHE WANTS TO DO A SCENE WITH HIM PRONTO, AND SAYS SHE’LL EVEN DO IT WITHOUT HER MAN VOODOO IN THE SCENE, A FIRST FOR HER IN A SUPER-DUPER-DUPER LONG TIME. WINSTON STILL REFUSES….

 

 

THIS IS A PICTURE OF NICK MANNING DOING TORY LANE FROM BEHIND…

 

AND

 

 

 

THIS IS TORY LANE AFTER GETTING A FACE FULL OF MANNING SEED.

 

PICTURES TAKEN BY NICOLE SHERIDAN

TAYLOR RAIN LAUNCHES OFFICIAL MEMBER SITE

She’s been in the business for 5 years, has been recognized as one of the top performers since she started and never once has endorsed a website as her own. There have been countless sites adding her name to it, but not until now has there been one where TMFR calls her own.

Taylor Rain has officially launched her one and only member site ClubTaylorRain.com.

This is the site I always wanted. I’ve been talkin to people for 2 years about a site, we made all types of plans but nothin ever came of it, just talk.” Rain says. “This one is all me! I love it. At first it was just me, me and more me, but then we came up with the idea of adding a bonus area where I can add photo sets and video sets of other girls in the business, this way no one will get bored. I mean come on, you can only look at one person so much, how many ways can you view a pussy? This way my fans can see me and they can see thousands of pics and vids of my friends too and never get bored.”

ClubTaylorRain.com was built with Taylors fans in mind first! With her no longer performing it was important for Rain to feel close to her fans. The site includes several areas for people to stay in touch with Taylor and her life, her Journal section including her day to day rants about her personal life as well as her directing for Torrid and Defiance. She also includes a schedule where her fans can stay up to date with her shooting schedule as well as personal appearances all across the country for store signings. Taylor already has a “Live Chat” section where she can meet one on one with fans for a live video chat, plus she’ll have scheduled Live Chat sessions for all her members. “I love that I can meet one on one with fans for special occasions via my live chat area. And then weekly I’ll do live chat for all my fans, that’s hot! I can play with myself for some fan I have in Alaska and get him off by watching me, that’s hot!” Rain’s intentions are to be 1000% involved with this site and update every day, with adding new hardcore content and updating her journal and schedule. “I’m so into this site, I’ve personally picked all the content that people see on the site so far. I have a deal with Defiance and Torrid, so I get to use all their exclusive content that NO ONE else has, that’s exclusive right??” Besides photo content, the website is filled with hundreds of hours of exclusive hardcore video content with stars such as Lauren Phoenix, Tory Lane, Vanessa Lane, Deja Daire, Naudia Nyce, Jenna Haze, Bobbi Blair, Katja Kassin, Rita Faltoyano, Tiffany Taylor and more.

I’m gonna do content shoots with my favorite girls too, I’ll shoot some content with girls like Naudia Nyce and other girls, and I have exclusive video clips and full movies too.”

The site will also include VOD movies and streaming hardcore video clips updated weekly. Plus Taylor will be doing content shoots of both video and photo with her friends in the business, in otherwords this will be the ONLY place you can find any new Taylor Rain photo and video content. “I’m gonna shoot content every week for my site. Pretty girl, amateur, at home, photo and video with my girlfriends from the biz and hardcore POV too.

On the “personal” side, Taylor Rain will use this site to communicate with her fans. “I’ll be answering all my fan emails and taking lots of requests.” By requests, Rain means she’ll be giving fans the chance to direct her in their own “custom Taylor Rain Video”. “I’ll shoot solo masterbation videos, striptease videos and hardcore POV videos for my fans. They tell me what they want me to do and say, and I’ll make their video for them. I’m out of the business as far as performing, but not when it comes to my website, so signup now and gimme that cheese.” Fans can start emailing Taylor Rain at taylor@clubtaylorrain.com to start putting in your requests!! And besides custom videos, she’ll also be selling all her movies directly from her website. “You can buy all my movies from me personally and I’ll have them sent to you. You can buy them at regular price, well actually cheaper than anywhere else, or I can send you an autographed copy of one of my vids of your choice.” Taylor will also be selling off items such as autographed 8×10’s, polaroids, bras, panties, boots, tshirts, dresses, wardrobe from her past movies, even the straight jacket from her last movie Assylum.

This is all about me and my fans. There’s something for everyone, this is a mega website, with so much content no one will ever get bored, but it also has my personal touch, it has me. So my fans can stay in touch with me, see me, watch me, email me, plus they can also see my friends, like thousands of pics and vids.”

ClubTaylorRain is part of the ClubHardcore.TV network of personal websites, it’s the first website for ClubHardcore and its’ most important. Coming this week will be Taylor Rain’s affiliate program for Webmasters to send traffic and be paid 50% of all revenues on a recurring basis. Other sites coming soon will be personal sites for Daisy, Jessi Summers, Roxy Jezel, Cindy Crawford, Paola Rey, Lauren Phoenix, Bobbi Blair and Tiffany Taylor. “A lot of these girls are friends of mine so I got them involved and they’ll be doing sites like mine, where they are completely involved and these sites allow them to get personal with their fans. Some other sites are of girls that I know we have tons and tons of exclusive content on, so what the fuck!!! Plus the ClubHardcore.TV site is basically the site of all sites, no personal touch, just ass pounding, cum swapping, fucking, sucking and pretty girl shit every day of the week”.

One of the most interesting aspects of the site came from Taylor directly. “Since this is all about me and my fans, and I’m no longer performing just directing, I’m gonna use this site to get ideas and requests from my fans about movies I shoot. And I’ll probably invite people from my website to spend time with me on set during the movies I shoot. I’m going to start planning on shooting “The Ho’C” since I’m REALLY FROM Orange County and I’m gonna get a ton of hookers together and shoot a real OC movie!! I’ll hook up with tons of fans from OC on my website and let them help me. Like I said, I’ve been in this business for a while and met a lot of people at signings and at AVN, it’s nice to meet fans but even better now to communicate with my fans!”

I want to thank Defiance Films, Torrid Entertainment and Matrix Content for all the incredible content, most of it exclusive. Now I’m gonna keep the site hot by adding my own content, shot by my friends. Holla 420!

ClubTaylorRain.com, a truly interactive site!! Fans all over the world can finally be so close to Taylor Rain they can almost touch her!!!

ClubTaylorRain.com is now live, it is run by Taylor Rain personally and managed by the ClubHardcore.TV network of sites.

RON JEREMY TO VISIT CANADA, WILL SHARE HIS GIANT, ER, PERSONALITY WITH OUR NEIGHBORS TO THE NORTH

from http://www.canada.com/ It’s bound to be educational. But it may not the kind of education most Grant MacEwan students were expecting.

Sandwiched between such luminaries as David Suzuki and Gwynne Dyer, former porn star Ron Jeremy is coming to campus to offer his first-hand insight into the porn industry.

Jeremy, the rumpled, pot-bellied star of more than 1,700 hard-core porn films dating to the late 1970s, will give a lecture at MacEwan’s downtown campus next Thursday.

“He is going to be talking about the porn industry and the realities of it,” says Adam Guiney, president of the college’s students’ association.

“We hope he will be very valuable in educating people about the porn industry, where it is moving forward and how it relates to the law, and why porn has become such a big thing. You log onto the Internet and one in three sites have porn. There is a demand.”

The former adult movie star’s swing through Edmonton is part of a speaking tour that has included 30 different colleges and universities around the world, including Oxford, where he joined the likes of Winston Churchill and the Dali Lama as a guest lecturer alumnus.

Sociologist Fiona Angus calls it an effort to move pornography into the mainstream.

“There is an attempt by the pornography industry to try and shift it into some kind of realm of acceptability,” says Angus, who teaches at Grant MacEwan. “It’s trying to change the morality around it. It’s an attempt to legitimize their business because there has been so much bad press around the exploitation of women, sexually transmitted diseases and all sorts of things. But frankly, I don’t think the general public is buying it.”

Guiney admits he was skeptical when the MacEwan students’ association was first approached about bringing an aging former pornographic movie actor in as a guest lecturer.

“But we looked at his credentials,” says Guiney. “On the college speaking circuit, he’s ranked as No. 1 in terms of his message, content and entertainment value. It wasn’t an arbitrary thing where we just said ‘let’s bring in a porn star.’ He actually has some very strong credentials behind his name, not just in the film industry but in academic and college circles.”

Like many people of his generation, Guiney says didn’t even know who Ron Jeremy was.

Neither was he familiar with the porn star’s work.

“To be honest, I hadn’t even heard his name before,” says the 20 year old arts student. “I believe it would be more of our parents’ generation who would be familiar with his name.”

Originally an special education teacher, Jeremy got into the adult entertainment business in 1978 when his girlfriend submitted photographs of him to Playgirl magazine’s “boy next door” feature.

From there, he moved to movies, and made more than 1,700 of the low-budget films during his career.

With a stringy shock of hair and a 1970s-style mustache, he’s no porn film Adonis, unlike mainstream actor Mark Wahlberg’s portrayal of the sinewy Dirk Diggler in the movie Boogie Nights.

“Jeremy’s appeal is broad, far wider than any other adult star,” says a biography on the website askmen.com. “Perhaps it’s due to the fact his fame and persona is that of a regular Joe.”

Guiney says the guest speaker will be a departure from other at MacEwan, including Suzuki earlier this month and Rwandan genocide survivor Joseph Sebarenzi.

“We have a diverse student population,” he says. “We like to broaden our horizons.”

Jeremy is expected to speak for 20 minutes and then answer questions from the audience. The 300-seat lecture hall at McEwan’s downtown campus is sold out. Tickets sold for $5 for students and $8 for non-students. The students’ association isn’t saying how much it is paying him.

Surprisingly, Guiney has received relatively few complaints from other students.

Although some may think the association is sending out the wrong message, he defends the decision.

“We’re by no means promoting it (pornography),” Guiney says. “He (Jeremy) is not here to recruit people into the industry.”

HEY DEREK… LEXI NEEDS HELP, NOT NEW OPPORTUNITIES

from AVN.com

The 19-year-old Lexie Marie joined Vivid in late 2004 after just a few months in the industry. Reasons for the company’s actions were unclear and her agent, Derek Hay, would not speak on the matter.

“I know why this happened, but I’d rather talk about the fact that this is a chance to explore other opportunities that are out there,” he said, adding that he’s already fielding offers for her.

“She’s just 19 and she’s a very attractive and intelligent girl that people really like,” he said.

and now this commentary………….

BOTTOM LINE.. Lexi has a drug problem and everyone knows about it, it was bad to the point where she was forbidden from a Jenna Jameson shoot. Vivid wanted to help her, they wanted to keep her. They told Hay some time ago, “get her the help she needs, get her straight and into shape or she’s out” … Hay then attempted to get Lexi to live with Lisa Ann. As the story goes, Lisa refused and was summarily dismissed by Derek.

ADVICE TO DEREK… your “we’re exploring other opportunities” comment just reaffirms your a fucking cowardly, selfish prick who injects your penis to get wood and doesn’t give a fuck about anyone but yourself!!! If you have any fucking nut sack at all, then stop thinking about your next house purchase, your next payment for your used car “Hey Jenaveve, let me drive over to September’s house and pick you up in the Astin“. You’re a PIMP, with no skills to do anything except point a girl to a location, her do all the work and then you DOUBLE DIP by taking 15% from the girl AND take a fee from the producer. INSTEAD of pimpin Lexi out NOW, why not let the girl get some help, hey here’s a thought, why not get involved and see if YOU as her pimp can intervene and get her some help. Come on, you’ve made thousands off her (and all the others). When she signed her contract, Vivid wrote you a fat “commission check”. You got your money already.

And by helping her, I don’t mean…. “Lexi, would you like to make some good, easy money? Let me take you to lunch and introduce you to the woman who use to run Nici’s Girls and now runs Bellas Models, we’re good friends, I introduce her to only my special girls, you can do really well.” THAT’S not the help I’m referring to. You’re a licensed and bonded agent Derek, introducing ANYONE to this “Madam” will get your license revoked immediately… watch your step!

That last statement, “explore other opportunities that are out there” brought me to my boiling point!! You’re a pimp and a pretty good one, but when you make statements like that, especially now considering EVERYONE in this business knows Lexi has a problem and needs help, shows you to be a fucking lowlife. Let her get her life straight, let her get help.. don’t try to ignore her problem as a means of stuffing your pockets. If anything happens to this girl or any of your girls because you push and push and push, there will be a line of husbands, boyfriends, mothers, fathers, friends, internet gossip writers and more… standing at your door one day to beat the fuck out of your cowardly ass.

Call September from Exotic Star and take some lessons on how to treat your girls. Remember something Derek boy, you make your living off of them not the other way around. One day all this nonsense will catch up to you. YOU need these girls more than they need you. Red Light, Anabolic, Wicked, Vivid, if you die tomorrow they won’t stop any productions, they’ll just overwrite your number in their speed dial with someone elses. Call Spiegler and take some lessons, his girls don’t fear him they respect him and they ALL make good money. PERHAPS it should have been you in the AVN skit and not Spiegler… you would have fit in well as St Croixs gay lover!!!

Do the right thing, Lexi doesn’t need commission paying jobs right now… Lexi needs the support of her friends and she needs help! Either help her, or get the fuck out of the way and let the people who truly care about her help her. Get in the way and prevent her from getting true help, and watch this industry turn on you SO fast you’ll feel like Kurt Lockwood just entered you from behind and didn’t even leave flowers on your nightstand in the morning!!

LAUREN PHOENIX HAS NEW ID’S AND IS A FREE AGENT

email received from “the lauren phoenix agency”

Hi Everybody!

I just wanted to let you all know that Lauren is a free agent again and has US ID’s!! She can be reached through LA Direct Models or directly at (818) 674-3413.

Thanks to all,

Tre Synful

(I HAVE A SERIOUS QUESTION REGARDING THIS PRESS RELEASE ISSUED BY SOMEONE NAMED TRE SYNFUL…. HOW DID LAUREN GET US ID’S? I DON’T THINK THEY GROW ON TREES… WILL SOMEONE EXPLAIN TO ME WHAT A “TRE SYNFUL” IS????)

Direct Models is delighted to welcome back to the agency – Multi award winner and Female Performer of the Year 2005, – Lauren Phoenix.

Lauren – 26yrs old / 5ft 10” tall.

Lauren has finished her contract at Defiance Films and is now available again to all companies and producers.

Solo, G/G, G/G/A, B/G, B/B/G, Anal, DP, Interracial, Swallow, Creampie (w / choice of male talent only).

Regards,

All @ Direct

NO ONE WOULD HAVE GUESSED THIS!!!! OH, WELL, EXCEPT FOR THE 11 PEOPLE WHO DID

Fayner Posts: I’ve been pretty much out-of-it for the last 24 hours since I last posted something. Pretty tired, I was. One would think running a marathon would be easy as shit…but I have to say it was quite difficult.

So when I saw here on LF.com that TMFR and Kelly Erikson are starting their own talent agency I got to thinking that I’d heard this idea before….somewhere…but where?

It was in our poll Most Likely To Happen In 2006 that we ran just before New Years.

And what do you know? It’s fucking happening all right. TMFR is right now on the snowboarding slopes holding meetings and choosing quality talent to represent.

Winston Burbank is the first star to sign to this yet-unnamed agency.

The 11 people who guessed this prediction will receive a 2005 pit bull calendar.

REMEMBERING ANNA MALLE

FROM THE LUKEFORD.COM STARS ARCHIVES

Anna Malle

Anna Malle broke into adult through amateur work for Tim Lake’s Homegrown Video. An appearance at an adult video trade show led her to the “big leagues where she more than lives up to her name as a sexually demanding and always orgasmic fuck,” says AFW editor Jeremy Stone. “We fell madly for her in The Gangbang Girl 14 where she turns from a bookish babe to a ball-draining bimbo who thirsts for cum and drinks plenty of it real deep. She also stars in Anal Torture and Fantasy Chamber. Anna is a nymphomaniacal sex performer, driven by the need to fuck and suck and be watched doing it.”

The tall brunette stands 5’7, and weighs 115 pounds. She measures 34D-24-36. Her ethnicity is German, Cherokee and Irish. Malle features a couple of tattoos: One of a rose in a cloud on her left breast and another rose bush near her pubic hair. She names Nina Hartley as her mentor.

Anna met her husband Hank Armstrong in Florida. “We were together there for about a year…in an open relationship.

“When we are home there are several couples that we like to play with. We live in Vegas and commute to LA to do porn. I dance regularly in Vegas.

“What’s a camera? When you’re a swinger you are used to fucking in front of other people. We could fuck in front of you right here.” (AFW)

The Hitchhiker 5: The Traffic Jam features Malle, “a dark-haired stunner who takes choad like a champ. With Max Hardcore holding her head back, he gets off a nice preliminary pop, all over her face, enough to sate most ordinary men. But Max isn’t your average Joe, and follows that up a few moments later with a bigger splooge shot that drenches the gleeful Malle. She revels under his mighty outpourings and winds up a real sight in white.” (HEVG)

“Anna Malle is the madwoman on porn,” says Jeremy Stone. “She loves being fucked, loves eating pussy and takes it in the ass with vigor… She’s one of the nastiest of the new breed of bitch in heat and when she cums, her eyes roll back in her head and she screams her pleasure out for the world to see and hear. We caught up with her on the set of Diva, the new Michael Ninn production for VCA Platinum Plus. Anna was only too eager to open her box and let us peek into the pink.” (AFW)

Max Hardcore remembers performing with Anna. “I fucked her on top of a five story parking garage on Broadway in downtown Los Angeles one Saturday afternoon. She would do anything. But now she won’t talk to me and I don’t know why?” (Swank’s Video World)

The brunette now scorns Max because she believes that he abuses women.

Born (September 14) and raised in Iowa, Malle had little luck with her first few relationships. “I wasn’t allowed to express myself sexually. The men in the past were selfish, insecure, and jealous, of me because of my nature. This is a real turn off to me! I have since moved on and have danced exotically for seven years. Yes, I am bisexual and enjoy both men and women. I do care about cleanliness and sexually-transmitted diseases. I obviously enjoy anal intercourse. Other turn-offs are self-centeredness, jealousy, close mindedness, unkept personal hygiene. Turn-ons are many: nicely dressed, well groomed people, confidence, sensitivity, attentiveness, truthfulness, caring, and a sense of humor.” (From Anna’s internet site)

“Anna Malle – she’s just getting too old,” writes Max Volume on RAME, “I am afraid, and without heavy makeup (which I hate) to cover up those pot marks on her face (and, she has a weird chin), I am not fond of her anymore. She was nasty right from the start (sex wise), but she never progressed… I never hear of her getting fisted or doing pee scenes. She’s a formula porn star. And, ever since I heard her say one time in the background of a vid that she prefers her pussy hairy… Yuck!”

AFW disagrees. Anna stars in Tom Byron’s Cumback Pussy 3. “Malle is at her gutter talking, sweaty fucking bst; she’s a slut bitch goddess, an X-rated version of Vampira, or those women who to rule the universe in 1950s science fictions movies; her face and sexual contortions it goes through, blow me away. It’s really a waste of spectacular pussy to fuck her in the ass, no matter how much she likes it.”

Write to AFW at 8060 Melrose Ave, LA, CA 90046. (213-653-8060)

AVN = 6700 Valjean Avenue, Van Nuys, CA 91406… 800-521-2474

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Voyager7@ix.netcom.com

Review: Anna Malle In Kansas City – Chapter 4

or

“The Porn Gods Are Smiling Down Upon Me”

… epilog to the travelogue…

I get into my car, I notice some average lookin’ girlies parking their cars and walking into the club. These are the night shift dancers, another mystery of the universe I contemplate is how “average” these girls look on the outside, yet when they get slutted-up in the club, they appear to be goddesses… oh well….

I pull out of the parking lot and figure out my next move. Its Thursday, and I have not seen Alexis, I believe for nearly 3 weeks now. Alexis is a Midori/Monique replica who works at the Attic Lounge a sleazy dive of a club, which has upgraded its decor this year. The sad thing is they made the place darker, no lapps were ever offered here, but the girls come around TO YOU and dance in front and aside you. Contact is not allowed, however, many of the girls know how to “skirt the rules”.

I take the scenic route to the club (i.e., observe the street-walkers) and as I pull up over a bridge, my eagle vision sees a motorcycle cop who is waiting at the bottom of the bridge. I am his… Instinctively, as I see him, I gingerly but swiftly slow down, I see the red light and pull over. I have Anna’s Witches Are Bitches boxcover in a bag on the front seat, along with the two polaroids which are turned over. I hand my license to the leathered-up cop as he tells me I was going 50mph in a 35 zone. I apologize, and hope a Rodney Kinging isn’t in order. If he was a SHE I probably would have liked that…. 🙂 He asked me if I had a radar detector, I said no (how could I figure out how to use a radar detector when the automatic coffee pot in my office is flashing the wrong time because I can’t figure out or am too lazy to figure out how to make it work), then he said that I must have an “eagle eye”, I nodded lamely affirmative,,,,,,, yes, I can track danger and pussy miles away… 🙂

The Porn Gods Are Smiling Down Upon Me, and the cop says, “As much as I’d like to give you a ticket, you did slow down when you saw me, so I’m going to let you go”. I was stunned, this is the first time in my life “da heat” had ever given me a break. I didn’t have to give the cop a blowjob or nothin’! Feeling frisky, I gently pulled away, making sure I dotted my i’s and crossed my t’s. I pulled into the parking lot of Erotic City, a mainstay of sleaze on Kansas City’s east side. Needing to relieve my bladder of OJ, I ran the gauntlet of the gay cruisers downstairs in the video arcade area. One sorta feels how wimmenz are ooggled by us pervs, when one runs the gay gauntlet at this place, its surprising though, whenever a dancer from upstairs goes downstairs, the boyz part like the “waves of the Red Sea”….

Relieved, (keep your mind out of the gutter, and give me a break!), I went upstairs, and there,,,, there, Alexis, a 5’7″ long lost twin of Midori was walking, in a long white shirt, white undies, clear platform heels, white wide brim hat, and those “max hardcore white anklets”…. I sat down, and soon she was ON me like yoke-to-an-egg.

She asked what I had been up to…. A loaded question. I told her of my cop incident, and then I showed her my pictures of Anna and my time at Bazooka’s. She told me she had worked there for a week, then left, she said the management sucked. She said Anna was a good looking girl.

I asked if I could ever get pictures of her “that way”, she just :):) :)’d….. Her time to dance, I had some $2 bills left, and I tipped her copiously. After her dance she came over to me, sat down real, real close, smiled and told me how “sweet” it was of me to tip the $2 bills, she said she was a “collector” of them….. I drifted into more pathetic loser small talk with her, occasionally cataloging in my mind, my highly acclaimed gonzo flick I’d die to make with her….. 🙂

We are joined by a range-fed-natural-version of “Julie Rage”. The blond, voluptuous dancer of the stage, is dancing to AC/DC’s “She’s Got The Jack”. “Julie” asks Alexis and I, if we knew what the song meant. To me AC/DC are lame shits, any band member who wears shorts on stage, other than lets say Sheryl Crow, should be shot, but I digress.

Julie says in Australian, “Jack” means the “clapp”. Alexis thanks Julie coyly for passing on this bit of knowledge and says, “I learn something new everyday here”….. Ms. blond voluptuous who occasionally dances in her glasses, comes over to me and I slide a few singles up between her perfect, upturned 34C’s. I whisper to her, that afterwards she needs to consult “Julie” on her song selection… 🙂

It’s Alexis’ turn up to bat, blonde voluptuous, in her sexy glasses is nuzzled up next to me. Alexis start to slow dance on stage, I mean really slowwwwwwwww. Blond voluptuous whispers in my ear, “She has such a heavenly body, I just adore watching her”….. My heart stops, my tiny mind starts racing, I envision the two “tangled up in blue” in a gonzo scene, “ebony and ivory”, here in the club. I whisper back, “You know, WE need to tag-team her!”, I got an evil smile in return…..

Its time for me to turn into a pumpkin, right when some g/g is about to happen, but I gotta get home or the warden will cancel my work-release program. Alexis comes by one last time, she rubs with her leg my xxxtreme upper thigh, generating electricity, then she bends over, presents her ass to my face and slowly, very slowly works her cheeks. She parts her dark pussy and I see wet pink, she has constant eye contact with me all along, what a sweetheart! I slide my tip between her pointy 34B’s, tell her I have to turn into a pumpkin, she gives me a gentle range-fed kiss and drifts off. I tell smiling blond voluptuous next to me I need to leave, and to “work on setting up that tag-team-match”……..I leave, fire up the starship, turn on the raaadio, and listen to John ThoroughGood lament about his “land lady coming by to collect the rent, him leaving, taking with him only his John Lee Hooker record collection, going to a bar, and ordering…..one bourbon, one scotch, one beer!…. 🙂

…. Later that evening, I give Anna a call. The hotel info which Roadie had written down, I dialed, and found out, there was no such room number, and when I gave them her “name”, there was no-one registered as such, my heart sank… Then the helpful sweetie on the other end said maybe the person was staying at their “downtown location”. I called over there, gave the room number, and the sweetheart on the phone said, we have no such room, she asked who I was looking for, I gave the name Anna Malle, and she put me through to her room. I got voice mail, and left my information where I could be reached.

The next day at work, Friday, at 10:30am I still had not heard from Anna. I figured she was to be onstage within two hours and she should be “up” by now, so I dialed her from work (like I figured, *I* had been “up” for 5 1/2 hours, she should be up by now as well… :).

Again, the hotel operator passed me through to her room. After about the 4th ring, I hear this sexy, xxxtremely groggy voice say, “helloooo”. It was Anna and I had waked her up. I apologized for this.

She started coming in clearer now, still a bit spacey, and told me she had gotten in about 1am, after going to the grocery store. Since I am lame, I didn’t follow up in “Luke manner”, and ask her what she purchased…. 🙂 She told me she got my voice mail from the evening, had written down the info, and would call me back after she had her coffee, shower, etc., I told her that was a deal, and waited for her call……

Well, she never did call.

Why I don’t know, maybe she was peeved that I had called and woken her up. Maybe she got “side-tracked” and lost track of space and time.

Maybe she just wanted to be left alone…… We will never know. And to think, I had my “interview” down pat.

If she would have granted me an “interview” I would have started “Luke-style” with, “have you ever had sex with a transsexual”… then followed up with….”have you ever had sex with a man, dressed up in woman’s clothing”….

( xxxtreme smile at Luke’s expense, sorry Luke, we actually do “appreciate you!”…. )

When Saturday rolled around I thought about going to her noon show, and talk to her again, figuring she had 4 hours free before her next show in the evening, and maybe she could “squeeze me in”, however, I was feeling a “lil blue” about the situation and didn’t want to appear to be more of a pathetic loser than I already was, and like, hey, I had already expressed my interest to her on 4-5 previous occasions….

In summary, as I see it,,,,,without wimmenz and bluesy situations like this, there would be no “material” for the likes of John Lee Hooker, Stevie Ray Vaughn, and yes, even Melissa Ethridge…, to sing about……

GUESS WHO EATS PORN CHICK SHIT??

Fayner Posts: I was chatting on the phone earlier with a porno chick. I know, lucky me. We were both eating at the time, her at he house and me at mine. I decided to try and gross her out so she’d lose her appetite.

“You know Steve Holmes?” I asked.

“The porno guy from Europe? Yeah, I know him.”

“Well, he likes to lick off the cum he blows on the chick after a scene. Pretty gross, huh?”

“You think that is gross!?? One time on set he kept asking me if I’d piss in his mouth. No way! I told him. Later he was banging on the bathroom door while I’m taking a shit, and he comes in and basically pushes me off the toilet and reaches in and takes out my shit and puts it in his mout That is pretty gross!”

“Shit,” I said. “I just lost my appetite.”