Fayner Posts: There has been talk lately about whether or not Jeremy Steele stole Jim Powers’ video camera. Foolish, right?

So where is the proof against him that says he did swipe the camera? There is none, of course, because he didn’t steal it.

Want proof of his innocence? Good, ’cause I got it.

Jeremy Steele hasn’t lifted his penis to erectness since 2004, so what makes anyone think he can lift a video camera?

See, Jeremy is innocent!

DANBURY — A 33-year-old woman was charged with fourth-degree sexual assault Saturday after allegedly groping a man playing Santa Claus at the Danbury Fair mall.

Sandrama Lamy, 33, of Danbury, is charged with fourth-degree sexual assault, according to Danbury Detective Lt. Thomas Michael.

Two messages seeking comment were left on Lamy’s answering machine.

Details leading up to the alleged fondling are sketchy.

“I don’t know what the deal was. It was just bizarre,” the mall Santa told a reporter, referring all other questions about the incident to Cherry Hill Photo, the company that runs the Danbury Fair mall Santa photo setup.

Cherry Hill Photo did not respond to an e-mail seeking comment.

According to information provided by the Danbury Police Department, officers were dispatched to the mall Saturday at 8:45 p.m.

The mall Santa told police that Lamy touched him inappropriately while sitting on his lap.

“The security officer at the mall said Santa Claus has been sexually assaulted,” Michael said.

Lamy was also charged with breach of peace.

“She must have caused a commotion over there,” Michael said.

Lamy was released on a promise to appear Jan. 3 in Danbury Superior Court.

Danbury Fair mall spokeswoman Melissa Eigen called the alleged groping “an isolated incident.”

“The safety of our guests and employees is a top priority, and we strive to create a safe and enjoyable shopping environment at all our facilities and Danbury Fair specifically,” Eigen said.

2007 has not been a great year for mall Santas.

Earlier this month in Missoula, Mont., a mall Santa was assaulted with a pumpkin pie.

Meanwhile, a department store Santa in Australia claims he lost his job earlier this month because he said “Ho, ho, ho.”

His bosses had asked him to say “Hi, hi, hi.”

“Santa Tim” Connaghan is the president of RealSantas.com and teaches hundreds of people a year how to be Santas.

He said the Danbury Fair mall incident, if true, is one of kind.

Santas usually have to worry about kids tugging beards and teens throwing pennies from the mall rafters.

“I have been doing this 40 years, and I’ve never heard of charges being lodged either way — by a guest against a Santa or a Santa against a guest,” Connaghan said.

It isn’t unusual for an adult to sit and pose with a picture with a mall Santa.

“I’ve had some very nice ladies sit on my lap,” Connaghan said.

A harmless flirtation isn’t out of the norm.

“Once in a while they’ll say ‘I hope Mrs. Claus isn’t going to be upset.’ You have to be discreet and kind and say ‘Oh no, she’ll be OK. You can sit here, but only for one photo.'”

THIS IS CONVICTED CHILD PREDATOR RANDALL SHESTO…

AND THIS IS PORN DIRECTOR KEVIN MOORE

[ed note: The guy above who got convicted of luring underage chicks is not Kevin Moore. They just look very much alike so I invented this. Whatever makes me laugh at 7:43 a.m. is what goes on the site…]

KEVIN MOORE WRITES IN: people keep asking me this morning 
if I'm pissed about being compared to a child molester... 
I keep telling them I'm pissed at the photo. That is a terrible photo
of me. Where the hell did you find that? That's gotta be over 5 
years old.

thanks for the love...
WAUKESHA, Wis. — A 21-year-old heavy-metal musician convicted of having sex with a 15-year-old was banned from playing in public for five years by a judge who said he used music to win the favor of underage girls.
Randall Shesto II of Waukesha, described in Internet postings as having performed with a band called Nailwounds, was convicted in June of second-degree sexual assault of a child. He had been accused of having a sexual encounter with an underage girl last December whom he met through MySpace.com.
He was also convicted this year of having sex with another 15-year-old girl.
Waukesha County Circuit Judge Ralph Ramirez sentenced Shesto to 2 1/2 years of prison and 2 1/2 years of extended supervision, but stayed the term and placed Shesto on probation for five years. He was also ordered to serve a year in jail — including one month behind bars and 11 months on work release.
“You love your music,” the judge told the defendant. “Your music has been the tool by which you have ingratiated your way into the lives of these girls. You may not play in a band in any public appearances during the term of your probationary period. I’m taking away from you the tools by which you worked your misdeeds, sir.”
Shesto was ordered by Ramirez to register as a sex offender and told that, while he is on probation, he cannot have access to the Internet or a cell phone unless approved by his probation agent.
					

Fayner Posts: I asked y’all to guess what I made my holiday cookie to look like, and here are some of your guesses.

1) Your christmas cookie looks like a butt plug!!!! – nikki hilton

2) Im pretty sure that you decorated the cookie like a new era hat with the streets of SF on it and the stadium is a star or the red sprinkle thing.

3) Ok there Mr. Fayner, I think I have an idea as to what your mystery cookie message might be. It seems you are surrounded by ‘green minded’ tree hugging types who are conscious of recycling and emissions etc.. and you are the lone standout among them. Not caring anything about what they stand for or what they care about, you are a constant reminder to them that you are in many ways different from them… a red-headed step child of sorts. (hence the red-icing?) Yet they still put up with you and still hold your hands in that line of friendship (or at least feel sorry for you that you’re so very very different). Unfortunately, we think alike Fayner. Hahahaha… enjoy your holiday cookies. I hope I win. -Loyal TMFR fan, Tom C.

4) There are little green stick men drawn into a triangular shape where one stick man is red, and a splatter of red paint is put into the middle. The painting must be associated with hannukkah, since it is not Christmas.

5) The decoration represents a dreidel, or maybe it’s just a vagina ..?

6) its a bunch on nigs (the brown gingerbread cookies) and you (the red one)

7) it is a West Coast Productions – bukkake line on the front of the infield at Dodger Stadium

NONE OF YOU WERE RIGHT. THE CORRECT ANSWER IS: A BUNCH OF BLACK MEN RUNNING A TRAIN ON A NATIVE AMERICAN WOMAN.

SORRY, BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME