KENDRA JADE BLOGS
Happy Holidays Everyone
The bible says:
“Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is
honorable, whatever, is right, whatever is pure,
whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute,
if there is any excellence and if anything worthy
of praise, let your mind dwell on these things. “
And so I shall…
When I was a kid, my mom would always make sure that no matter how broke we were – We never knew it at Christmas time. Our presents would be sprawled out from one side of the room right to the other. We would unwrap presents for hours. I don’t know how she did it, and I know she struggled terribly. It wasn’t until I was much older that I realized and could appreciate what she had done for us year after year.
I always thought Christmas was about gifts, how many we received; how expensive they were. Was it what I wanted? Was it something all the other kids would envy? I think sometimes we do our kids an injustice by spoiling them on Christmas because at the end of the day when the toys get old or boring , I still never quite knew or understood the MEANING of it all..
Now, today, I know my mom was the one who got the gift. Our smiles were the reward to someone who worked all year to get us things she couldn’t afford! But she knew what it felt like to GIVE.
This year, as I reflect on my 3 decades of life, and on the year 2007, I realize I lived the majority of my life never knowing what it felt like to really GIVE.
2007 has been a major year for me. It’s been a whirlwind of ups and downs, highs and lows. But I’m proud to say, I’ve learned so much!!
I turned 30. Thirty is a scary thing for a woman anywhere, but even more so for a woman who lives in Hollywood. Hollywood is a very age-oriented, look-oriented city and for most girls here, another year passing means another handful of lost opportunity.
My birthday this year was a major turning point for me because it was a kind of “farewell” to the girl who went to trendy clubs every night, she now opts to hang at home watching movies instead.
It meant caring less about designer clothes and purses, and caring more about buying groceries and paying the gardener. My priorities changed, and oddly enough I didn’t even mind!
I lost a handful of friends this year; I suppose this happens anytime a person has any kind of major change. Some through my own fault, and some of it was just the natural progression of life.
For instance, I stopped partying; all my “party” friends were gone. Sometimes it’s better to walk away regardless of how much you truly love a person because sometimes love cannot cure the disease of an unhealthy friendship or relationship – no matter how badly you want it to. You can still love people from afar, and I do. I hate no one, and I wish no one ill-will.
I think it’s important to say that I forgive everyone, and I also accept blame for the wrongs I have committed against others- even if they were unintentional. Anger, resentment, jealousy, hatred – these are all things that poison us. I choose to discard it.
I suffered some major betrayals this year. People I knew and loved did unthinkable things.Just a few weeks ago, someone stole nearly 100,000 worth of designer clothing, purses, shoes and jewelry from my closet while I was out on tour, leaving me with only 3 pairs of jeans and a couple of old shirts.
These are things that I worked my entire life for, only to have them taken – and by someone I trusted. Maybe it’s just God’s way of telling me that stuff is not what it’s about. He’s telling me to let go of the things that hold me down.
Material possessions, my friend. The stuff you own should not own YOU. People who are focused too much on what they own should reassess on what they’re giving back.You becaome a slave to greed and desire. If someone needed that stuff so badly they had to steal it, then I guess they need it a lot more than I do.
I have been intrigued this year by the mind of people who seek what they don’t work for. It seems to be a growing epidemic. People are always looking for the easy way. Want money? Sue someone. I wrote about this a bit an earlier blog about lawsuits. I just don’t get it .Is anything ever enough? We are such a greedy, selfish race. Focused much too much on ourselves. On what we own. On what we can get from people. And on how we can get it without working for it.
I can’t say that I am proud of many of the things I have done, but that being said: I never hurt anyone to benefit my own needs. I never stole from anyone. I worked hard to attain what I had, even to a point that was self-sacrificing and self destructive. But I EARNED it. There’s such accomplishment in knowing that you have worked hard for something. I’m frustrated with this society of people don’t work, don’t try, don’t give back. They abuse our welfare systems, they suck the life out of the people around them, they sue Mcdonald’s because they burned themselves with coffee, they have children so they can sit on their asses and collect child support. Mother’s, please instill in your children the value of being a hard-worker.
This year, I focused on what I could GIVE , and in turn, without expectation, I received!!
I have learned that what you put out there to the universe is, in most cases, what you get back.
I struggled with my weight and self esteem a lot this year. I started the year out at 161 lbs. and I ended the year at my current 107 lbs. It’s funny because when I was bigger, I was perfectly comfortable with myself. It was only when people started criticizing me that I got insecure.
Don’t you think it’s odd that others criticize someone’s appearance? Don’t you think it’s sad that we create the Nicole Richie’s and Mary-Kate Olsen’s of this world? We CREATE that. We DO THAT to people.
We don’t focus on the ugliness that resides inside of people. We just let them keep the ugly inside and stuff their faces full of collagen and botox…Some of the most beautiful people I know are big women, and they should be proud to be that if that’s how THEY feel comfortable. But it is NOT our right to impose our own insecurities onto other people.
This year I have focused on accepting all people for exactly what they are and that is not always an easy task. But it’s an important one.
I also met a man last October (2006) whom I married in May of 2007. From the day we met, I knew this would be the man I would marry. He is my absolute soul mate… It was only when I stopped LOOKING, that it knocked right on my door. I know it sounds cliché but its true, ladies. STOP LOOKING. Just focus on yourself and get yourself right, and when you do, there will be someone out there who is waiting for YOU.
The amazing thing about my husband is that he knows everything about me, and loves me not only despite it but BECAUSE of it. He knows all my skeletons, he knows all my fears, my hopes, my goals, my flaws and imperfections…and he LOVES me.
Some of the most trying times of my life I have experienced with him. We, in our short time, have endured more than most couples do in a lifetime.
From the basic concept of learning to love ourselves, respect our bodies and each other , infidelity, addiction, touring , adopting pets, finding a home, loss, pain, love, laughter, – we have it all. And every day we grow, and our bond is deeper.
My husband has endured much this year too, reconnecting with his family, recording an album, touring the world in arenas, and then small clubs in an SUV, getting a record deal, and then starting over. It hasn’t been easy but it’s been worth it. It’s been the best of times and the worst of times. It’s been a year I will never forget.
I toured the US and Canada in an SUV with 3 other people. This forces you to learn a lot about yourself and about others. I learned that I am small but capable of great things. I accomplished a lot- and without the help of others I would not have succeeded. I am only one soldier in this army but it’s getting stronger every day! I made great new friendships and forged new paths, past fear and pain and into beauty and love… I met many people who also GAVE.
I want to say thank you to those of you who gave freely this past year. Your time, energy and efforts make you who you are and you are all beautiful in so many ways.
There’s Team Rossi – who helped create and maintain one of the best artist/fan friendly sites around. Day after day, they spend hours
doing things both behind the scenes and in the forefront.
And then there are the many of you that post on different fan forums, or email us regularly – some of you who do neither. There are people who volunteered to help sell merch at shows, lugged equipment and in some cases, took care of us when we were sick , or helped run errands, people who donated to charities on our behalves. The outpouring of love we receive from all of you is unbelievable!
I don’t know if many of you know, but Lukas participates in luncheon auctions, where he has lunch with someone before one of his shows (or in some cases dinner) and part of the proceeds benefit many wonderful charities. This is the equivalent of someone taking part of their weekly paycheck and giving it away. More people should try it. There is nothing better than receiving the thank-you’s we receive regularly from these charities. It doesn’t take much to give where you can, when you can, what you can, the smile of another is the reward…and it’s worth it!!
Then, there’s all of my close friends I talk to daily , and some of the friends I speak to much less than I’d like.I just wanted to take the time to say how much I value and appreciate you all.
I got a lot closer with god this year. That, too, is like a marriage. It’s a learning process and a better way of living. I’ve not always been the best person I could have, and it is because I fell away from HIM, but the best part of having a relationship with him is that anyone can share in this relationship, regardless of where you have been – and he will always take you back with loving arms.. Seek and ye shall find…
I’m still trying to figure out what I wanna be when I grow up. Don’t know if I’ll ever figure it out…but I am certainly content with what I am and with what I have, where I am going and what I continue to become…
You see, every action is a seed. We can grow flowers or we can grow weeds. (NOT THAT WEED).
Plant your gardens, people. Start today.
My resolution this year is to find a healthy balance. Balance is important because I am the center of everything, and so are you…
I use my blog as a way not only to help others by speaking from experience, but also to help myself. I urge you all you all find your hearts, your voices and a way to GIVE this holiday season.
Your only reward will be a smile and the peace in your heart…but it’s soooo worth it.
Love to you all.